2 Days, 2 Weird Dreams

I have had two weird dreams in the past two days; both dreams good in their own way.

I can't really share the one from two nights ago (yes it was dirty ;) but last night, I dreamed that I was going to the ballet with the orchestra. It was a weird combination of me now and me then, because I was clearly trying to get to the ballet from work, but everyone from high school was there. I was dressed up, but I hadn't been able to find a date -- or so I thought. When I got there, Patrick was also there, and we sat next to each other and just settled into being completely comfortable with each other, holding hands, putting our arms over each other's shoulders, and he kept kissing my temple.

We ended up getting cheated out of the ballet (the performance was about thirty seconds long, then they were showing old clips of old debutante dances on a TV mounted up in the corner. We decided it was completely lame, and left the room. It turns out, we were supposed to be in the high school (it just looked nothing like my high school), and so we went to search for Dusty's room so we could hang out somewhere. I was getting mixed signals from Patrick, and at some later point, when I went to the restroom, I came back to overhear him explaining to Sara how he was dating someone who was in Australia, and that he'd either have to break up with her before he went out there to visit her, or he'd probably stay with her because it cost so much to go out there and then not stay with the person.

I was kind of crushed, but also felt a competitive surge rise inside me, and I thought that if I could be completely charming that night, maybe he'd reconsider being with me again, but I kept saying really stupid things.

We talked about High-Q some, and a bunch of people I haven't seen in a while were there. Mike, Nicky and Daniel Bujanda were sitting in one corner, talking about how Mike took Patrick's place on the High-Q team (which isn't true -- no one really took Pat's place, or was that just in my heart? Joke). Dixie was in another corner, and she was really happy to see Patrick, but really cold to me. I didn't know what to think, but before I had time to analyze it, Patrick said we were leaving. So Sara, Peter, and I got to his car, and he was taking us home, but he kept driving backwards, and not really paying attention to the road (so not Patrick!) -- and searching for this one song to play for us, if it wasn't on the radio before midnight. We started listening to some matchbox 20 song, and I thought that was the song he wanted us to hear, but it wasn't. He was going to take us to his parent's house to listen to it, and I remembered his parent's house looking like what it looked like in one of my waaay old dreams (So weird!).

I woke up to that warm, fuzzy feeling when you see an old friend. But the thing is, the only place I'll ever see him is in my dreams.

Peter is living with him right now; his brother, one of my best friends from high school, who I talk to nearly every day -- and Patrick hasn't once talked to me, or even said hello through Peter. So I can only assume he's stopped caring, and probably never will again. I guess as long as I don't let it interfere with my relationship with Peter (uh...again)...I'll be okay, because honestly, it's not like I've tried that hard to contact him. And really, after three or four years...what am I even complaining about? Last time I talked to him on AIM (at 4 in the morning, Junior year at MIT), he implied that affirmitive action was the only reason I was there, and so it didn't end well.