That was the worst thing I ever put in my mouth*

*and other awkward things you probably shouldn't say to your co-workers.

There was so much to type while I was busybusybusy at work today, and now it all wants to escape. I have some down time before yoga, though, so I thought I'd get it all out before my caffeine buzz wears off.

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Erm, scratch that -- went to yoga, then ran a few miles, and then had dinner. What happened was I ended up taking a phone call and talking to Laura instead of blogging, so you get me now at 10, instead of 5. I also quickly want to say that actually laughing out loud at work is only okay when most of the office is gone -- thank God for that.

So, anyway. Yesterday felt like several days.

I worked late, but between two and four-thirty didn't have anything to do. It was awkward, and kind of a bummer because I had to work late, but not long enough to get any overtime. Anything between thirty-seven and a half and forty-five hours in a week is a wash, actually. So I was riding the T pretty late, and it was kind of empty, and for some reason, I started thinking about New York. and my grandma. And sometimes I still get profoundly sad about losing her, and all these things remind me of her. I mean, it could be anything, but things that are inextrinkably linked to my grandma are New York, the subway; especially when I'm looking over the barrier, certain songs, morning glories, roses, and mangos. Yesterday, it was the subway. It kept crashing over me like waves. The feeling of loss, the emptiness, the tears. I couldn't keep it together the whole time, so I was grateful for the relatively empty train. I mean, when I was riding back to the apartment in New York from work (all the way from Trinity Church to 91st Street, y'all), I was sobbing, and hugging myself and bending over (And still - I couldn't get a seat. That's New York for you. Too many crazies for anyone to notice that I was in complete grief and maybe offer me their seat), and basically having a fit to be tied. All of that emotion crashed over me last night for a few stops. I let it. Sometimes I need to let the grief embrace me so that I don't need to go looking for it. I can be happy when I think of her if I allow myself to be sad for myself occasionally, I guess.

Anyway, I was fine once I was above ground. I felt silly, even. But through all of that, I forgot about getting off at Porter instead to pick up my dry cleaning, so I had to walk from Davis to Porter. I decided to call Ben. I knew he was leaving for Japan in a matter of weeks, and the voicemail I left seemed appropriate because it's Ben, but I implied that he should probably call me back before he leaves the country [in what, to me, was still "the unknown near future"]. Why this was funny was waiting for me at home: a facebook message telling me that he was actually leaving on Saturday (!) If that's not fate, I don't know what is.

So I talked to Ben for a bit. It's funny, because I think he'll be more accessible now that the blog is set up, and now that he's got a computer :) but I'm going to miss him just the same. Aside from Alisa, I'm mostly out of local friends with whom sitting around doing nothing is considered the most awesome weekend, ever.

Today was just batshit insane. Oh, no wait, it started yesterday. With the t-shirt fiasco, which quickly turned into the t-shirt joke of 2006. Haha. No really, guys. It's actually funny. I swear. Haaaa. See? See, we turned it into fun by having a t-shirt design war. During work. I mean. On our own time. This was the winner, by the way, designed by Laura:



If I can get permission, I'll post what I wish were going to be WILG's rush t-shirt. Seriously. My friends are too freakin' hilarious to handle. I also wish it didn't cost $200 to get any reasonable amount of t-shirts printed.

I'm very excited about tomorrow. I get to fill out health insurance forms and pick the stock options or whatever for my 401K (that's pronounced four-oh-wunk, right?) -- hooray!