I've Already Got A Seat in Hell, Thanks.

I've developed a Really Annoying Subway Habit -- but it was intentional and I totally love it.

I've complained before about how people's newspapers will spill over onto my seat; into my space. Usually it's some snotty paper, like the New York Times( -- which I read. Online. Where it won't sit in other people's laps) or the FT (and I do admit I'm intrigued by the pink paper, but I digress). My mom actually suggested that next time it happens, I lean a little so that it's Very Obvious that I'm reading their paper. I tried it, and so far, it's worked every time.

The awesomeness is twofold. First, it REALLY annoys the crap out of whoever you're doing it to. Trust me. There's nothing I hate more than some bitch who should be reading her copy of The Economist that is sitting right there in her lap instead of STARING at my crossword-puzzle-doing (look, ho, it's not my fault you picked up the most boring publication in the world this morning. Stop watching me do the crossword (OHMYGODSTOPSTARINGATME)). And it bugs people. Every. Time.

Their reaction is usually pretty angry, which would bother me except that my goal is to annoy them, and getting the reaction you want is nothing short of completely gleeful. They shift the paper out of your way so you can't see it. And PRESTO! It's OUT OF YOUR SPACE. Seriously -- it's like MAGIC.

Second, I sometimes get to read some pretty cool stuff in the New York Times. The Financial Times, not so much, but that's an unimportant detail since the paper will soon be ripped from my face, anyway. But more importantly -- it's HILARIOUS to watch people besides me get angry in the morning. Two wrongs may not make a right, but it makes me happy -- so it can't be all bad.