Wrapping Up 2017

Wrapping up 2016

1. What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?
   Travelled solo with a toddler.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From Last Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Eating cheese outside of meals
  Wait. I said cheese? What was I thinking?
• A new skill I'd like to learn: Hand Lettering/Bullet Journaling
  I did Bullet Journal for a while, but making the layouts became pretty hit or miss with a toddler around the house. I switched to a One Line A Day Journal, and have been really happy with that process
• A person I hope to be more like: Someone who can be self aware without feeling awkward about themselves
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate to a Food Pantry
  We donated to the Stow Food Pantry this year. Next year I hope baby bear will be more involved.
• A place I'd like to visit: An Alpaca Farm
  I don't know why, but I was unable to make this happen. We visited an orchard that has many animals: goats, ponies, chickens, pigs. That was lots of fun. No alpacas, though.
This Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Not meeting my step goals for the day
• A new skill I'd like to learn: Needlepoint
• A person I hope to be more like: Myself
• A good deed I'm going to do: I'm going to check some things off this list
• A place I'd like to visit: The Eric Carle Museum
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   No babies this year.
4. Did anyone close to you die? 
   No one.
5. What trips did you take? 
   I went back to TX with my baby—it was our first solo trip and it was terrifying, wonderful, and also terrible.
6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
   A sleeper sofa so that we don't have to do the crib/office dance anymore.
7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
   I honestly can't think of any. It is a blur of activity. The days are long but the years are short. One day I see over and over again is the day we went to an indoor playplace, and there was a big slide that J-bear wanted to go down over and over once she got the hang of it, and we got video of her going down the slide with my mother. She makes me watch the video constantly. "Boogah (grandma) slide. Boogah slide."
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   I became just a little bit less hard on myself.
9. What was your biggest failure?
   Just my big mouth...again.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? 
    I caught a gastro bug on Christmas, it was super pleasant to wake up the next day to see my child had also caught it (i.e. barfed all over her sheets).
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    Some of the most amazing fabrics to make clothes
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    J, because he is always incredibly supportive, wonderful, and amazing.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? 
    All of the sexual abuse scandals that broke this year were appalling.
14. Where did most of your money go?
    Kid, House, Car, Sewing
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    Taking swimming lessons with my bug
16. What song will always remind you of 2017?
    Believer by Imagine Dragons
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Sew
18. What do you wish you'd done less of? 
    Stress about things outside of my sphere of control.
19. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
    With our Massachusetts family and friends.
20. How did you spend Christmas? 
    Throwing up in the bathroom and falling asleep at 6:30 pm
21. How will you be spending New Years?
    Drinking Prosecco at home (Actually, we went over to our neighbors' house and it was so much low-key New Year's fun—we didn't even think we'd make it to midnight, but lo and behold, we did!)
22. Did you fall in love in 2017? 
    Every single day.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
    The Crown was probably the show that I devoured the most instantly and intently. I couldn't wait for the second season, and in my opinion it did not disappoint.
24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*
    *I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark-up library books.
25.  What was the best book you read?
    The Last Tudor by Phillipa Gregory, because inaccurate and sultry historical fiction is totally my jams, and Rosie Revere, Engineer
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? 
    Magic 106.7 playing Christmas music non-stop while I wrapped presents. Before that I would be obsessive about my spotify or Pandora or whatever playlist. Now I just let it wash over me as I frantically go about all of the Christmas things that seem to come with a toddler.
27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
    
    • A new fitbit that alerts me when I have texts, phone alerts, or am simply being a lazy ass.
    • A serger, which my mother bought me for my birthday and now gets used as much as or more than my sewing machine.
    • A victory against Roy Moore
28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
    Into some playgroups with some of the friends we've been with since my bub was a little peanut. It turns out our town is not one of the towns served by this particular group that we got involved with through the hospital, so we got shut out and it really stung.
    There was a local school board election, and the candidate I felt would really have been looking out for the early education kiddos did not win.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? 
    The Big Sick, which to be honest is the only movie Jason and I actually sat down to watch together this year. So it was half appreciating the movie, and half appreciating our own homemade date night.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 33. J gave me a day of relaxing and sewing, my mom got me a serger. I had a pedicure and a nice dinner.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    Some weight loss
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? 
    Lots homemade leggings and baggy shirts
33. What kept you sane?
    My husband, and yoga
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Benedict Cumberbatch, America Ferrera
35. What political issue stirred you the most? 
    Local town politics to be honest. There was the school board election, followed by some Pre-K stuff that just does not seem like it was handled in the best interest of our children.
36. Who did you miss?
    My grandmother, as always. My therapist.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
    I met so many wonderful women in the playgroups that we have been involved in.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017
    Be careful what you say around the toddler, for she is listening intently, even if she looks like she's pretending her penguin is pooping on his "potty," which is actually just a plastic cup.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    

    If you're happy and you know it, eat your food/brush your teeth/comb your hair. - me

Wrapping Up 2016

Wrapping up 2015

1. What did you do in 2016 that you'd never done before?
   Gave birth
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From Last Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Eating when I'm stressed/bored/sad/celebrating
  LOLOLOLOL
• A new skill I'd like to learn: light woodworking parenting
  Well, it happened whether or not I was ready for it!
• A person I hope to be more like: Someone who can easily socialize with others
  I have had to meet and socialize with many new moms to get out of the house and feel like part of a community. It has been very good for me and for baby.
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate my time
  Like...what time? I did end up making freezer meal(s) for new mom(s) in my area, and I stepped up to take on a role in my local parenting network.
• A place I'd like to visit: England
  Again, pregnant. And then had a baby. Travel overseas for no reason other than to travel? HAHAHA.
This Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Eating cheese outside of meals
• A new skill I'd like to learn: Hand Lettering/Bullet Journaling
• A person I hope to be more like: Someone who can be self aware without feeling awkward about themselves
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate to a Food Pantry
• A place I'd like to visit: An Alpaca Farm
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   Well, I did, haha. It does't get much closer than that! Otherwise, yes, there were a few other babies joining mine in 2016 :)
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   Fortunately, although I did lose many childhood idols this year, no one closely related to me passed on.
5. What trips did you take?
   We went to PA for a wedding, and TX to visit with family.
6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
   A full night's sleep
7. What date from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
   April 8th, the day our daughter came into our lives. Of course, I already forget most of the pain and stress, but I will always remember how that tiny little person joined our family.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   Having a birth that was nearly the opposite of my birth plan in every way, and still feeling as though it was everything that it should have been.
9. What was your biggest failure?
   Just my big mouth...again.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    My femoral nerve was damaged when I gave birth. I was unable to walk for days. I fell twice (hard). I laid in a hospital bed, needing everything to be handed to me, afraid to shower because I was a fall risk, seeing physical therapists and a neurologist in addition to the lactation consultants and pediatricians. My spirits were high—I had a brand new baby, after all, but it was tough. Thankfully everyone was supportive, and no one withheld her from me if I felt I needed her, because there was no way for me to take charge in that position. I finally left the hospital five days later with a full leg brace (never needed it, thank goodness), and a walker. I barely made it to my front door that first day, I had to pause in the middle of my lawn while my family brought out a kitchen chair for me to rest on!
    
    Once I got home, I managed to fall a third time in our bedroom. There's still a hole in our drywall shaped like my backside!
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    We bought a Subaru Outback. I have never had a new car for myself, and it has been very exciting driving around in one of the top safety rated cars with my kid in the backseat (I am so cool!)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    J, because when I wasn't 100% myself after our daughter was born, he took it upon himself to be present and he took more time off from work than I thought he would (and that I thought he would be able to). He made sure we were both taken care of.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    Drumpf - many of the people who voted for him. And especially people who complained that those who "lost" the election were mourning the loss. Oh, I'm sorry that I have feelings. I'm sorry that I'm feeling exactly what you did eight years ago.
14. Where did most of your money go?
    That brand new baby (and car)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    Can I mention that I had a baby enough times?
16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
    Cecelia and the Sattelite by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness | Closing Time by Semisonic
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Sleep!
18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    Stress about things outside of my sphere of control.
19. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
    With our Massachusetts family and friends.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
    In PA
21. How will you be spending New Years?
    Probably sleeping, because the baby isn't going to let us sleep in on January 1st!
22. Did you fall in love in 2016?
    Every single day, with my babe and with my husband.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
    I watched a lot of things on Netflix, but not one of them was especially memorable...remind me to answer this question when I have time to process shows again, instead of just consume them mindlessly.
24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*
    *I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.
25.  What was the best book you read?
    Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and Little Blue Truck
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    
27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
    An Outback, a Vacuum Sealer, This Circle of Neglect.
28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
    Oddly enough, snow. Last year was miserable, but this year we only got one snowstorm, and I had to snowblow our driveway being miserably pregnant because it was the one day J had a work trip this winter, and plow companies wouldn't come out to our house for such a small amount of snow (enough snow to keep me homebound, too little snow to warrant an emergency).
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
    Amanda Knox, the Netflix documentary. It was illuminating, even to someone who was pretty familiar with the case.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 32. I am sure that Jason and I had a nice dinner, but what I really remember was taking the day off from work, scrubbing the sink, and pampering myself all day long with a face mask and a foot soak (scrubbing the sink was nesting, gratifying, and something I do all the time now).
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    I grew a lot from it, but I can't imagine how different my story would be right now if I hadn't damaged my nerve in April. I still suffer from side effects from that trauma now, and it wasn't even "that bad."
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
    A continuation of the maternity pants theme, until they stopped fitting (because the baby was out! Not the other way), then yoga pants and sweatshirts.
33. What kept you sane?
    My husband, and yoga
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Benedict Cumberbatch, America Ferrera
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
    Just the election in general made me so unbelievably angry. I'm glad that I'm in a like-minded Massachusetts bubble, but I was appalled at how senselessly callous some people can be in the name of politics. Things that they would not normally say about someone are fair game as long as it's an us-vs-them argument and they neglect to remember (or care) that their loved ones are sometimes "them."
36. Who did you miss?
    My grandmother, as always
37. Who was the best new person you met?
    My baby :)
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015
    Always close your mouth when a baby's mouth is near yours, because they just might puke into it for funsies and without warning.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    

    Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you. - Andrew McMahon

Wrapping up 2015

Wrapping up 2014

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
   Made a baby
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From Last Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Buying snacks from a vending machine. So, I guess this one waxed and waned, but I tried very hard most days to NOT do this.
• A new skill I'd like to learn: How to do a stunning cat eye
• A person I hope to be more like: My husband, who is mindful and organized. I'm still working on it
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate to one of the many public services we utilize. We donated to WERS & WBUR this year, as well as our alma matters, and the conservation lands in our town.
• A place I'd like to visit: All of the conservation trails in my neighborhood. Definitely have hit up many of the conservation trails in our area. Have absolutely done all of the ones in walking distance of our house and then some!
This Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Eating when I'm stressed/bored/sad/celebrating
• A new skill I'd like to learn: light woodworking parenting
• A person I hope to be more like: Someone who can easily socialize with others
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate my time
• A place I'd like to visit: England
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   Yes indeed! We had a little baby girl come into our circle of friends this year
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   Thankfully, no.
5. What trips did you take?
   We went to PA for a BBQ, and MO for a wedding.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
   A new car, a baby!
7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
   August 6th—the day I found out I had a + pregnancy test.
   
   I got that first, faint positive on that Friday night, and was surprised as F*-all. I actually had a glass of wine while I was cooking dinner, and I had poured myself another one. I was feeling light/happy and a little bit tipsy, and thought I'd take a pregnancy test for giggles. I had SO MANY OF THEM, due to buying multiple packs of ovulation strips—it was cheaper to buy them bundled together.
   
   I dumped that second glass of wine immediately and proceeded to flip my shit in my head. I waited to tell J until Saturday morning when I was able to take a more expensive First Response test, which showed a clear, no-nonsense positive...
   
   I jumped back into bed and asked him when he'd be awake enough to hear good news, and after that it was the hardest secret I've ever had to keep for 14+ weeks!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   I was promoted at work, I managed a group of students for a semester, and I think that they are all talented and amazing, and I can't wait to see what their futures hold.
9. What was your biggest failure?
   Just my big mouth...again.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    I had about the worst cold imaginable in January. It affected my respiratory system, and I ended up having to use a nebulizer for my asthma—something that I have not done in years. Then again in August, same thing. Terrible cold, upper respiratory problems, and then bam, in the middle of it, pregnant. Then there was the "morning" sickness, and the bloating, and the emotional stress and the being clumsy and dizzy all the time. FUN TIMES.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    Everything for the nursery. A crib from IKEA, fabric for the curtains, lamps. It all came together so wonderfully.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    My husband, who was my rock during the SIXTEEN WEEKS that I could not tell anyone I was pregnant. Then the poor man had to listen to me go on and on and on about all of my little symptoms and grievances, not to mention deal with my mood swings and utter fatigue and uselessness.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    Donald Trump, anyone who supported Trump.
14. Where did most of your money go?
    Maternity clothes, the nursery, baby related expenses.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    When I stopped being nauseated all the time and was able to eat real food again!
16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
    Shut Up And Dance by Walk the Moon
    Dearly Departed by Shakey Graves
    Wide Open by The Chemical Brothers
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Exercising before I got pregnant, and generally moving around when I did get pregnant.
18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    Being hyper focused on trying to conceive, which would have relieved a lot of stress.
19. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
    With J, eating homemade Chinese food, then that weekend, we cooked for a small group of friends.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
    With some friends of ours having a wonderful "Thanksgiving" dinner.
21. How will you be spending New Years?
    Probably sleeping, since the wee one demands a 9PM bedtime. (We ended up going to our neighbors' house for board games, and I lasted until after 10, since I was drinking sugary Cranberry juice.)
22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
    Every time we had an ultrasound
23. What was your favorite TV program?
    The League (rewatch), Broadchurch, Sherlock
24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*
    *I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.
25.  What was the best book you read?
    The Girl on the Train was really good.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    WERS
27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
    Pregnant!!!
28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
    A working commuter rail at the beginning of the year. Our public transit system was out of whack for over a month, and there were many days I spent two, three, or four hours commuting into or home from work. I felt like the entire month of February, and much of March was spent on soul crushing journeys to and from the city, with a group of the biggest, most annoying assholes who treated the situation as though it was everyone else's fault that the transit system shit the bed.
    Bonus: What did you not want that you ended up getting anyway?
    Snow. And more snow. And then some more snow.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
    Not a film, but we saw the live broadcast of Hamlet from the Barbican. It was three hours of Benedict Cumberbatch and it was wonderful.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 31. J and I went to a restaurant in Boston that we love (Grotto) with some friends, and followed that with an Improv Asylum show.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    If the commuter rail hadn't failed in the biggest way possible during the winter.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
    Maternity pants
33. What kept you sane?
    Prozac
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Benedict Cumberbatch
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
    Everything that wasn't discussed during the debates because look over here, everybody!
36. Who did you miss?
    My grandmother, as always
37. Who was the best new person you met?
    One of our neighbors who raises chickens
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015
    "Don't spend time with people who don't treat you well," among other things.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    

    I knew I loved you before I met you - Savage Garden

Things I Love Thursday: Dots!

My current favorite game is TwoDots, the followup game to Dots, which was a fun, engaging puzzle game that I originally found through the Starbucks App. From their website:

Inspired by the art of Yayoi Kusama, Dots was created with the notion that beauty and fun are not mutually exclusive. Dots is a minimalist game that was designed to be a soothing experience.

It was soothing, and I loved playing it, but eventually, it just became habit and I wasn't really getting anything new out of the never changing game. I would open it on my phone while I was in waiting rooms, or on the train, and I just wasn't having fun anymore, although it was still soothing and calming.

But then...then they released TwoDots.

Join two brave dots as they traverse arctic tundras, navigate fiery jungles, and plunge the ocean depths. TwoDots is a modern-classic puzzle game where you simply connect colored dots to score points and complete objectives.

Two dots is fantastic. They keep adding levels and the "adventure" keeps continuing with new and exciting types of "bad guys" to beat. It's puzzles and adorable little dots all at once. The graphics are lovely, and the animations are great. People even download the soundtrack.

I highly recommend this addictive game. If you've never played the original, Dots, it's also fantastically addictive.

Things I Love Thursday: Murder Edition

I recently got J into watching HBO's the Jinx with me. It is a documentary about Robert Durst, and while there has been a lot of criticism about it, it has also taken off like Serial. The whole internet is into it, and that excites me. I got Jason to watch it because he listens to our local NPR station every morning, and was listening after Durst was arrested.

On the way home he said, "I was listening to something I thought you would like [because murder]. This guy was arrested, and I guess he had something to do with his wife disappearing a long time ago...and then he moved to Texas..."

"Robert Durst?"

"Yeah, and he was arrested for murdering this woman..."

"Susan Berman?"

And then I told him about the Jinx, and suddenly, he's watching Murder Porn with me. This is a good year for Murder.

Things I Love Thursday

My Job—I was just promoted at work, and I am so excited for things to come. I get the jitters at my desk every day, and I am challenged in new and exciting ways. I get to mentor people! I am just so thrilled to work at such an awesome supportive company.

The White Queen—a Starz network show based on Philipa Gregory's novel about the Lancasters and the Yorks. CHILLS. I love this period of British history!!! It's my new Amazon Prime go-to show.

Things I Love Thursday

I love how, adorably, Benedict Cumberbatch still can't say "Penguins." He managed to get it out correctly the first time, but going forward it's just pengwings. Pengwings everywhere (he says it 17 seconds into this video):

Things I Love Thursday

It's BACK! I am officially bringing back Things I Love Thursday.

And for my triumphant return, a video of Benedict Cumberbatch not being able to say the word penguin:


Along with a video of Benedict redeeming himself on the Graham Norton Show:


What else is on the shortlist?
Performing a task exceptionally well at work ♥ Watching House of Cards with my husband ♥ Knitting on the train ♥ the deer that come about our house and leave trails in the snow while we're away

32 Before 32

1. Learn how to carry a tune
2. Read 2 Classics
3. Read 2 Best Sellers
4. Hike trails around our house
5. Make art for our dining room
6. Do another 30 day challenge
7. Go for a major bike ride
8. Thin out my closet
9. Plant a garden
10. Finish knitting my Abrigado blanket
11. Perfect a wing eye
12. Build a fire pit
13. Make a piece of jewelry
14. Make a DIY Camera bag insert
15. Make French Onion Soup
16. Take a silhouette photo
17. Improve my posture
18. Finish one design project per week
19. Go candle pin bowling
20. Find more balance
21. Watch House of Cards with J
22. Buy fresh flowers once a week
23. Get more sleep
24. Eat a vegetable at every meal
25. Make art
26. Decorate for Christmas
27. Take a trip
28. Try a new sport
29. Get my eyebrows done
30. Get a massage
31. Visit a new museum
32. Display my camera collection

31 Before 31 Update

1. 100 Pushups
2. Do another 28 or 30 day challenge
   I started trying to learn Spanish using Duolingo. I decided this was my challenge. So for the whole year, I certainly used the App, but I also succeeded in reaching my 30 day Spanish challenge.
3. Log my food and exercise every single day for a minimum of 3 months
   I would start doing this and I was really good at it for about five days, then I would lapse into forgetfulness and laziness and stop doing it. Lather, rinse, repeat.
4. Go ice skating
   Boom.
   
   
5. Run a 10K
   Why do I keep doing this to myself? Every time I work my way up to a 5K, I lose steam. We did do a 15 mile bike ride, this year...does that count? I feel like a broken record!
6. Go to sleep early
   Moved over an hour away from work. Need to wake up in time to take the commuter rail. Bedtime is now 9:30.
7. Improve my postureI have done noting quantifiable to accomplish this goal, and it is definitely something I've noticed.
8. Buy a house
9. Knit a sweater
10. Schedule "me" time at least once a week. Strive for at least two hours of solitude
    I don't think I met this goal, measurably, but I was able to be more conscious about the time I needed with myself, and to try to make only half of this time "computer time."
11. Meditate
    I downloaded Headspace, which got me started on a daily meditation program.
12. Visit a new state
    Shockingly, had never been to VA. Boom. Done.
    
13. Visit a new museum
    We saw Gropius House in the winter, and had a private tour. It was beautiful, and I would highly recommend it to anyone remotely interested in art, architecture, or just New England History in general.
14. Go to at least one lecture or creative performance
15. Read Four Classics:
    The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) - Started
    The Age of Innocence (Edith Wharton) - Didn't even acquire
    The Stranger (Albert Camus)
    The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
16. 52 Weeks listing Things for which I am Grateful
17. 52 Weeks to an Organized Home
18. 90 minutes of Yoga at minimum once a week
    Nope, although I did more yoga at home due to my subscription to MyYogaPro (courtesy of my sister!)
19. Learn about my family tree
20. Make a cheese souffle
    Did this for our anniversary!
21. Buy a watch
    I did this, and it was gorgeous, but I am glad I did not buy a very expensive watch, because it turns out I do not like to wear it everyday.
22. Make hot buttered rum

23. Take a stunning photographGot some Milky Way photography done in El Paso. Can't wait to try again, although I doubt I will find anything like that Texas sky up here!
    
24. Write a haiku
    Thirty-two, doing
    "old person" activities
    like feeding the birds
25. Make a pair of earrings
26. Get my eyebrows shaped professionally
27. See a Penn State Game at Beaver Stadium
    J, you had one job.
28. Letterpress
    I letter-pressed our holiday cards, and I am very very happy with the way they came out!
29. Buy number or letter balloons for an occasion
    Like, what occasion? Sitting at home and watching Netflix?
30. Find a new shade of lipstick
31. Buy It's a Wonderful Life on DVD
    Now I can relive the moments from my childhood when I used to wrap Christmas presents and watch this Jimmy Stewart classic with my grandmother in my own house instead of trekking to the Brattle Theatre—or maybe do both!

Wrapping up 2014

Wrapping up 2013

1. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before?
   Bought a house!
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
   From Last Year
   
   • A bad habit I'm going to break: Snacking mindlessly (NOPE)
   • A new skill I'd like to learn: Photoshop (like a pro) (MEH, although for work, I've had to step up my game)
   • A person I hope to be more like: My manager, who is patient and kind and outgoing (Sometimes I feel like I was starting to learn, but ...)
   • A good deed I'm going to do: Donate blood. It's been a while since I've been able to do this (NOPE. I also found out that I am AB, so in addition to any inability to donate on my part, it's also the least helpful blood type...)
   • A place I'd like to visit: The El Paso Mission Trail (I was not able to do this this year, but we did go to Carlsbad Caverns, instead, which was a really good trip)
This Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Buying snacks from a vending machine
• A new skill I'd like to learn: How to do a stunning cat eye
• A person I hope to be more like: My husband, who is mindful and organized.
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate to one of the many public services we utilize
• A place I'd like to visit: All of the conservation trails in my neighborhood
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   Indeed! We had a baby girl come into the world shortly before Christmas
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   Thankfully, no.
5. What trips did you take?
   Mexico! It was just Cancun for a few days, and it was for work, but hey! I got a passport stamp.
   Nashville—another work trip that was tons of fun
   El Paso—we went down for a family wedding and had a blast
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
   A diet and exercise routine
7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
   June 1, the day we moved to our new house
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   Getting our shit together and buying a house. There were a lot of obstacles and hurdles, and it was emotional and financially terrifying, but everyday we are in this house, I feel better and better about our decision.
9. What was your biggest failure?
   My big mouth
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    Just the usual colds, allergies and sinus things.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    Our house!
    A 10' Tall Christmas Tree
    A new couch that J actually fits on
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    Our families all came up to spend Thanksgiving with us, and it was wonderful.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    There was an incident of "baby name theft" that left me pretty angry.
14. Where did most of your money go?
    Our house...I'm beginning to see a theme.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    My birthday present, which was a vinyl recording of my favorite Smashing Pumpkins album. Buying a house (HOUSE!)
    The potential of a whole new world in the kitchen when I got a stand mixer for Christmas.
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
    Let Her Go by Passenger (THANKS, BUDWEISER)
    Counting Stars by One Republic
    Argentina I, II, III by Tokyo Police Club
    I Wanna Get Better by The Bleachers
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Taking advantage of our beautiful neighborhood and all of the trails near our house.
18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    Being hung over—it's not like it was in my 20's. Now if I have a hangover I spend 3 days feeling like shit instead of one morning.
19. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
    We hosted Thanksgiving at our house this year
20. How did you spend Christmas?
    With our MA family, eating a delicious dinner and drinking the best Old Fashioned I have ever tasted.
21. How will you be spending New Years?
    Probably sleeping
22. Did you fall in love in 2014?
    As always
23. What was your favorite TV program?
    Sherlock
    Gilmore Girls on Netflix
24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*
    *I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.
25.  What was the best book you read?
    The Handmaid's Tale
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    WERS
27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
    The Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness on vinyl.
    A new dining room table and a new couch
    Cowboy boots from Nashville
    An Aqua Stand Mixer
    A HOUSE
28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
    A greyhound, which happens every year. One day I will have a house and a schedule that allow for a dog, but right now it wouldn't be fair to a four legged family member
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
    The Imitation Game
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 30, the big doble-quinceañera. We went ice skating, had some dinner at Border Cafe and then went to Harvest for some great dessert and cocktails. We had a piñata, but decided to save it for the summer when more people were able to join in the fun.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    If I had done a better job re-learning spanish
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
    Plaid and Flannel
33. What kept you sane?
    Prozac and Klonopin, and allergy medicaiton
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Benedict Cumberbatch, Alli Speed
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
    I got pretty riled up about our local ballot questions. Turns out we moved to a red zone.
36. Who did you miss?
    I always miss my grandmother—buying our house and settling down up here made me think of her and her house quite a bit when I found myself trying to figure out what makes my house my home.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
    Our neighbors are wonderful
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014
    "Don't spend time with people who don't treat you well," among other things.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    

    Two sips from the cup of human kindness
    and I'm shit faced, just laid to waste.

31 Things to do Before 31

1. 100 Pushups
2. Do another 28 or 30 day challenge
3. Log my food and exercise every single day for a minimum of 3 months
4. Go ice skating
5. Run a 10K
6. Go to sleep early
7. Improve my posture
8. Buy a house
9. Knit a sweater
10. Schedule "me" time at least once a week. Strive for at least two hours of solitude
11. Meditate
12. Visit a new state
13. Visit a new museum
14. Go to at least one lecture or creative performance
15. Read Four Classics:
    The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
    The Age of Innocence (Edith Wharton)
    The Stranger (Albert Camus)
    The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
16. 52 Weeks listing Things for which I am Grateful
17. 52 Weeks to an Organized Home
18. 90 minutes of Yoga at minimum once a week
19. Learn about my family tree
20. Make cheese souffle
21. Buy a watch
22. Make hot buttered rum
23. Take a stunning photograph
24. Write a haiku
25. Make a pair of earrings
26. Get my eyebrows shaped professionally
27. See a Penn State Game at Beaver Stadium
28. Letterpress
29. Buy number or letter balloons for an occasion
30. Find a new shade of lipstick
31. Buy It's a Wonderful Life on DVD

30 Before 30 List Update

Up until 30, for some reason it made sense to me that I wanted to to x-1 things before I turned x. But 29 before 30 seemed kind of...silly. 30 is big. 30 is...thirty. So without further adieu, my list of thirty things I wanted to do before 30:

1. Visit Fallingwater
   Frank Lloyd Wright's PA treasure was beautiful, and definitely worth the wait. We got tickets for the in-depth tour, and we learned some really interesting facts about the house, plus I was allowed to take some really great pictures with a wide angle lens that I rented from borrowlenses.com.
   
2. Visit a new state
   I was not able to do this this year. We made it up to Maine, out to California (twice), Nevada, and back to PA, but we've been to all of those places before.
3. Visit a new museum
   I visited the Andy Warhol museum while I was in Pittsburgh over the 4th of July weekend. It was pretty awesome, and although they didn't allow photos, I was too mesmirized by the David Bowie interview to really pay attention to anything else (well, besides the silver clouds)
4. Make my own flavored vodka
   I made cherry flavored vodka with a mini-bottle of Bully Boy and some in-season black cherries. Sonic ain't got nothing on my homemade cherry limeade slushes!
5. Make ice cream
6. Find a piece of good furniture
   I feel like I did one better and got a very beautiful rug by Austin artist Alyson Fox (from West Elm). It is gorgeous and I love it. We even bought a vacuum cleaner JUST BECAUSE I love this rug so much, and want to take care of it properly forever. We also finally got around to getting a cube Expedit for our vinyl collection.
   
   
7. Grow tomatoes
   Yeah, baby
   
8. Add a lens to my camera collection
   After some deliberation, I decided to rent the lens I wanted whenever I needed it. This worked out for the best, financially. Although I'd still like to add it to my collection eventually, the cost for this one was prohibitive.
9. Take bird pictures
   Done! Got a photo of a hawk a week after I posted this, which was more than I ever could have dreamed! Now I need to use the good old telephoto lens and get some "real" bird pictures as the telephoto intended.
10. Make a lightbox
11. Finish knitting a blanket
12. Sew a skirt
    I will update with this project soon!
13. Make a travel book for guests/Scrapbook about Boston
    I collected some maps from the airport, and gathered all of those plus soaps, shampoos, and a list of suggestions for things to do.
14. Take a haunted trolley tour
15. Ride the Swan Boats
16. Learn to play guitar
    Ha. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.
17. Take spanish lessons
    I didn't really follow through on this, even after I looked it up and asked around.
18. Read Three classics: War and Peace, Persuasion, and Crime and Punishment
19. Start waking up early
    I had to start waking up before 6:30 for my new job. So...done!
20. Visit a national monument
    Turns out that Symphony Hall is a National Monument, so check!
21. Run another 5K
22. Repaint/refinish our kitchen chairs
23. Overhaul the sh*t out of my closet
    My intentions were good, but I did not have time for this.
24. Overhaul the sh*t out of my online portfolio
    I kind of did this, but not to the depth or extent I wanted.
25. Serve on a Jury
    Okay, this wasn't strictly on my list, but I did finally get to serve jury duty. It felt great to do my civic duty, even though the trial was pretty abysmal and left me with little sense of justice. Innocent until proven guilty, though, right?
26. Get my first tattoo
    I decided I'd rather have a house. We'll see what happens after we save all our extra $$$ and buy property.
27. Do 30 days of yoga
    I did this challenge
28. Keep a Therapy Journal
    I never got around to this, but I do jot down some of the more important things when I think of them or when they help me more than usual.
29. Set a measurable goal in therapy
30. Eat a cleaner diet
    J and I started doing Paleo in July. We hoped to make it a lifestyle change instead of something we did for a few weeks. I think it made us more aware of where our food was coming from, and how lazy we had become since I started working full time. We're still making adjustments, but it was good for us, and we both lost some weight and learned some things.

Total: 20/30

28 before 29

Wrapping Up 2013

Wrapping up 2012

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?

• Planted tomatoes and peppers
• [Finished] Strip[ping] and repainted furniture
• Visited a Frank Lloyd Wright house (Fallingwater)
• Visited the Andy Warhol museum in Pittsburgh
• Saw the Boston Pops with J

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From last year:

• Run a 10K • I did not do this, but I did run two 5Ks. That counts, right?
• Open an etsy store • I also did not do this, but I got a job, which was really the point of the etsy store at the time the goal was made. I would still like to do this, but it's no longer at the front of my mind.
• Redesign my website • Nope. I did move everything over to Behance, though.

This year:

• A bad habit I'm going to break: Snacking mindlessly
• A new skill I'd like to learn: Photoshop (like a pro)
• A person I hope to be more like: My manager, who is patient and kind and outgoing
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate blood. It's been a while since I've been able to do this
• A place I'd like to visit: The El Paso Mission Trail

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One of my besties from college had a baby boy, and managed to name him after a member of N'Sync. Another College bestie had a baby the same month. Babies, everywhere!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year—we stayed Stateside.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
A house

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
January 29th, because that was when I was hired to contract at my new job, which I love. December 11th, because that is the date they told me I would be hired as an employee.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finding a job that I love, learning that I need to love myself first.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not loving myself enough, blaming myself for things I cannot control.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just the usual: colds, stomach flu, banged up fingers and toes.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
An Alyson Fox rug from West Elm, and a Rabbit bottle opener for my mother-in-law.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My managers really went to bat for me when it came to hiring me after I temped for almost a year

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Only my own

14. Where did most of your money go?
We've been saving for a house this year, but as usual, a large percentage of our non-housing money went towards travel: travel for weddings, travel to see family, and vacation(s).

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

• Seeing Fallingwater
• Getting hired at [job]
• House hunting

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
Cinema by Skrillex, which will forever remind me of J's 30th birthday that we spent in PA with his brother. A great weekend, for sure.

17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Hiking and general outdoorsy-ness.

18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating. Particularly processed and canned foods.

20. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
Vegas, baby!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

In PA with J's family.

21. How will you be spending New Years?
Probably at home with Dial-A-Pizza and a mini champagne bottle.

22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Again and again.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Breaking Bad, which went out with the biggest bang and most satisfying ending since Six Feet Under, although like Six Feet Under I was devastated when there were no more episodes.

Then we rewatched it and realized it's just revenge porn.

24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*

*I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.

25. What was the best book you read?
Crime and Punishment

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
fake electronic music (only the pop stuff for me!)

27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
A trip to Fallingwater, time with a very expensive wide angle lens (from borrowlenses.com)

28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
A greyhound, again. We had finally started to pull the trigger, even going to an adoption agency to meet dogs, then I got a job downtown, and realized I couldn't juggle those two life changes. One day we will have a dog, and a house, and kids, and chickens. One day.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
We didn't really see any movies this year that were stand outs...probably my most enjoyable theatre experience was It's A Wonderful Life at the Brattle—our yearly Christmas tradition.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29. J and I went to one of our favorite tapas/cocktail places, CasaB, and were treated like royalty—they even had champagne cocktails waiting for us when we arrived! It was wonderful and low key and perfect.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A patch of land in the country.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Recycled

33. What kept you sane?
Prozac and Klonopin

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Benedict Cumberbatch—I even had a series of dirty dreams about him. As Sherlock Holmes, of course.

I didn't realize how many things I've seen that he's been in because really, this started out as a Sherlock thing more than a Cumberbatch thing. And I hardly seem like the only one to have realized this in 2013.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Pretty much the same as always.

I was upset about the Marathon Bombings, and the aftermath of how it was handled. I don't believe in the goodness in people the way I did when I was younger, and all of it just rang so false to me. It made me very angry, and I was too close to the issue to appreciate it when other (far away) people got worked up about it.

What does any of this have to do with politics? Nothing, which is why I got worked up when people tried to talk about this awful thing in terms of political action, inaction, or different sets of (religious/political) rights and wrongs.

36. Who did you miss?
I always miss my grandmother, but this year I missed her especially. I have no idea why it was so difficult this year in particular since she passed in 2005, but it was nice to be able to sit with her memory for a while longer than usual this year.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Many of the people I work with now

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

To love myself.

I'm still working on it.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Raskolnikov felt sick, but he couldn't say why
When he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye
Some things you do for money, and some you do for fun
But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one.

Your Body on Yoga

A great info-graphic from the Huffington Post. See more information here.

Therapy Goals: Things to do Before I'm Thirty

On my list of 30 Before 30, I wanted to set measurable goals in therapy. This has been an awesome goal to have in mind when I talk to my therapist because it makes me go in with a purpose.

Our latest thing is building a communication model that will get more of my needs met, so that I can stop feeling so shitty because my needs are not being met. This might make little sense out of context, so here's an example:

Our neighbors smoke on their balcony porch (observation without evaluation). When they do this, I feel aggravated and tense because I have a need for the air in my personal space to be free of allergens (I have asthma). An actionable request would be to ask them to smoke on the front porch.

Insert Empathy Here

One way to ask this is, "Hey, I can understand why you guys would like to smoke on your balcony—I love to hang out here, too. I hate to be a pain, but I have asthma, and the smoke aggravates my asthma. Do you think that you could smoke on the front porch, instead?"

My communication model has never gotten me what I wanted because in my mind I always start aggressive, maintain aggression, and finish aggressive. In reality, I am passive. Passive and pissed off, all. The. Time.

See, technically, the lease doesn't allow smoking on our balconies. But if I walk over with all my pedantry, I look like an asshole, and of course they can smoke on their porch (I "can't"? Watch me!). Does the landlord like the person who phones him about the smokers on the second floor? No! He hates that person! Will he do anything about it? Probably send a letter. Which they will burn. On their balcony. And round and round we go.

This is not a communication model that works for me, even though it is the one I fall back on time and time again. This is not a communication model that I would like to pass on to my children.

Did the new model work in our real life example? Sure, it did (our neighbors were nice about it, too). We'll see what happens in the future, but in the meantime the need was met, and that's more important than being "right."

Rural, MA

One of the reasons I want to move out beyond the 'burbs

source

My Hollaback Story

I was inspired recently to share a story of street-harassment that I went through, because a lot of the anger I carried around for years was about feeling helpless in these situations, and for some reason they happened to me exponentially more when I was unemployed. There is something about being a lone woman at 2:00pm on a Wednesday that makes you more likely to be a target for some reason. This is only one of many stories, but it was by far the scariest:

I was once riding my bicycle back from Trader Joe's during the day, when a man who was also on bike started following me. I didn't notice when he first appeared, but in hindsight, I'm pretty sure he was in the parking lot, and kept a safe distance as I left, then caught up to me on a small quiet side-street where there were less people.

He didn't say anything overtly sexual or lewd, but he was definitely coming onto me in a very aggressive way, not as someone showing interest, but as someone who saw an opportunity to belittle me as he made it very clear with his body language that he could do what he liked with me at any moment. I had bought myself flowers that day, and he kept commenting on how I was very beautiful like those flowers—like a thing, and something about his tone made chills run down my spine. I ignored him, which is when he started calling me a "fucking bitch" and a "stupid stuck-up cunt." I felt like I couldn't even breathe, because anything I did wrong might set him off physically—there was sporadic traffic, but I didn't trust people to intervene, so I just kept my eyes ahead and tried to get to a busier street as quickly as possible without looking quite as terrified as I was. He passed me and slowed down to a snail's pace, just to prove that I was too afraid to pass him, and that's when I truly began to panic. Thankfully, a row of cars came by at that time, and I jolted back into action. I pedaled like hell. I made it to Mass Ave in record time, safely and without incident, and I lost him in a crowd of cars and people.

I later talked to my therapist about it, and it affected him so much that he ended up asking a police officer on traffic duty, out of curiosity, if I should have reported it. The police officer said emphatically that, yes, I should have reported it. Maybe nothing happened to me, but I'm surely not the only woman he harassed that day, that week, that month...Regardless of what he did or didn't do to any other women what he did to me was a crime. I could have (and should have) biked to the closest police station with a description immediately. Better yet, now I know to try to take photos when I can. I have not had another incident quite this scary since then, but I wish I had not had to learn this lesson this way. I don't go down the long quiet street for the pleasant bike ride without being aware of my surroundings, and knowing my options for getting, quickly, to a more trafficked area. I wear a camera on my helmet. I shouldn't have to do any of this. But I do. Because I can't go for a jog without getting honked at, wolf whistled, picked up. And that isn't even the sinister side of street harassment. The wolf whistles are NOTHING like the FEAR that I felt that day, and I don't think that he was just a "guy being a guy"—I have no doubt that if those cars hadn't come by, this would be a very different story.

One day four years ago, a man thought that a lone woman grocery shopping in the middle of the day was a target instead of a person. And that makes me angry for all of the women, and all of the harassment.

Because he believes in himself, he doesn’t try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself, he doesn’t need others’ approval.
Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him.
–Tao Te Ching

Lately, I have been wishing that I could choose to ignore the insecurity inside of others, instead believing that it is only inside of me. Some of these people need to be right, no matter what. Maybe they simply need to be heard, but it is usually at the expense of listening to others, and I get tired of being bombarded with these messages. I need to take a step back, stop feeling attacked, and just ignore the noise—it has nothing to do with me.

So today's meditation by Deepak Chopra resonated a little bit more strongly this morning:

Today, I choose to accept myself. I choose to be aware of what it is like to simply be, without self-judgement. I choose to live each moment knowing that I am is enough to sustain me. I choose to sit quietly and open my heart to myself. Today, I behold myself, and know deeply that my capacity to love others, and for others to love me, is directly connected to my capacity to love myself. Today I choose love.

Project 365 Update: November and December

Wow, a whole year flew by before I even knew it.

November was a month where I voted, where we celebrated squash, and then we went to PA for Thanksgiving. I don't think I have a favorite photo, but gun to my head, I'd choose this one from a bike ride we took with some friends:

December was Christmastime, but the photo-taking was abysmal. It was my first month of unemployment, and even though I saw it coming from months away, it was painful and I stayed in like a hermit a lot. Not a lot of good photo-ops.

Still, we got our first real snow of the season, I finally finished Matt's gloves, I made dry shampoo, we ate frozen wedding cake, and my sister and I got really drunk on Christmas Eve drinking Jack Daniels out of a mason jar. I then caught the flu from a baby, and was wiped out for three weeks. By the way, babies are the worst.

Whatever, I still dressed up for New Year's Eve. And I looked fucking amazing for someone with a nasty head cold or the flu: