Pink magnolia in winter, she doesn’t careif you don’t show up to have another cup

So, why I haven't been updating this thing:

I'm going through a lot, lately. I realized that this blog was a special kind of post-breakup therapy, and in that sense, it worked. It made me feel better to get stuff out there, to feel like I was reaching out to the Internet. At some point, the problems became too big, though. And the blogging stopped working.

I'm trying to fix my life right now, and while I wish I could go into more detail, I don't know exactly what that means.

I know that no one is happy all the time. But sometimes I try to feel happy about things, and instead all I come up with is tired.

I know how some people feel about some of the methods of "feeling better" like cognitive therapy or even drugs. My parents have expressed some pretty strong opinions about both of them, even going so far as to suggest that the "idea" that I "might be depressed" came from J, and that it's ludicrous.

Well, I just went on a five day vacation to Bermuda, and I was completely unable to experience it in the best way possible. I'm not saying that it wasn't fun, or that it wasn't the beautiful first vacation with my boyfriend that everyone hopes for...but there were clouds all over everything, and I don't mean the rain clouds over the island while we were there.

I recently started going to therapy, and so I get a lot out in those sessions. I haven't been knitting as much. I read books, and watch TV, but I don't analyze like I used to -- it's mostly a way to turn my brain off. So I've had a hard time writing.

And that's why. That's why I've gone from 20something hits a day to about...zero hits a day.

I can't promise I'll restore this thing to it's former glory, but I thought I owed it to some people to explain. I'm still reading your blogs, I'm just not doing a very good job of keeping up my end these days.

[Spinning: The Weepies - Take it From Me]

Monday Madness - Computers

Which web browser do you prefer?

Firefox.

Are you a PC user or MAC user?

I'm a PC user, but if I could, I would switch over to MAC in a heartbeat.

Will your next computer purchase happen within the next year (do you think)?

It's possible, but not probable.

Will you purchase your next computer at a local store or via the internet?

It depends on whether it's a PC or a MAC. If I go Apple, I'd visit the store.

Have you had any experience with Windows Vista?

Just the really annoying commercials during Demetri Martin: Person

What are your feelings about this new operating system (if any)?

N/A

Validation

Me: I made ceiling soffits!
I'm so proud of them
well...I'm kind of proud of them
you know how your third grader will bring home the ugliest piece of crap covered in glitter and glue and god knows what?
that's how I'm proud of them.
Co-worker: awww, let me put the soffit on the fridge.

My Personal DNA

(Found via Ashley's blog)

Soko - Take My Heart

You can take my heart for a walk on the beach
You can take my heart for a little trip
You can take my heart very close to your heart
You can take my heart forever if you like

But not every heart belongs to any other
You and I
You and I are meant to be
I'm the one for you, You're the one for me
You love me as much as I do
When you look at me and we're skin to skin
I want you so
Please come in
And you love me more and more
And my love grows up with you
And you kiss me more and more
And I kiss you, too
And I kiss you, too

If I take your heart, I will cherish it every day
If I take your heart, I will heal these old wounds
If I take your heart, it's to make it happy
If I take your heart, it's forever close to mine

But not every heart belongs to any other
You and I
You and I are meant to be
I'm the one for you, You're the one for me
You love me as much as I do
When you look at me and we're skin to skin
I want you so
Please come in
And you love me more and more
And my love grows up with you
And you kiss me more and more
And I kiss you, too
And I kiss you, too

(violin solo!)

I don't care, I don't care
If I'm again carried away
If you swear, if you swear
To give me your heart in return
To give me your heart in return

I don't care, I don't care
If I'm again carried away
If you swear, if you swear
To give me your heart in return
To give me your heart in return