Things I Love Thursday: Anniversary Edition

Three years feels like such a long time ago. We've both grown so much in that time—and it's so amazing to know that I'm growing with someone. J grounds me. He stays calm when I cannot, and he's strong and confident and so smart—and look at how smoking hot he is!

I love him because he makes me laugh out loud, daily. He makes even the most mundane tasks seem fun.

I love him because he makes me see beauty in myself. It is because of him that I try to be a better person. Whenever I am angry or sad, he is there to remind me that the world isn't all pain and suffering.

I love him because everywhere we go together is an adventure, even if we're just people watching in Harvard Square.

I love him because I smile every morning when I wake up with him and every evening when he comes home to me.

To me, home is J's heart and hands.

Three Years

Our three year anniversary is coming up—this Thursday, in fact. To celebrate, we're having dinner at Houston's, courtesy of a very generous Christmas gift card we got last year.

I got this little bouquet of flowers last night at trivia, though, so that I'd be able to enjoy them for a few days before we leave for Texas. I guess J was going to give the flowers to the bartender before I arrived, so that they'd be there waiting for me, but he didn't want me sitting there all by myself with flowers for a half-hour.

There are three roses: one big one for this year and two little ones for the two years past (and some pine because the florist asked him if he'd like some holiday cheer in the bunch). I'm still smiling as I look at them sitting here on my desk. J is not one for flowers, but when he does them, he does them well.

getting better

I had a rough night last night, but it was one of those situations that you simply can't do anything about. The resulting conversation actually made me feel way better, so even uncomfortable and sad situations can happen for a wonderful reason. I read this quote in zen habits after I'd calmed down, and so creating this today felt natural.

In other words, things are going well

Last night, J got me an air conditioner. He may as well have given me a ring.

This morning, I told him that I was thinking about getting table runners for the kitchen table instead of place mats. He looked at me and said, "okay."

Yes, there has been a period of adjustment, and yes, there have been a few incidents over some things like closet space and beds and my pile of clothes...but how can I not be totally head over heels for this guy?

We're slowly making it a home.

Christmas Tree!

Every year since I went away to college, I have decorated my own Christmas tree. Until last year, it has always been a three foot "Canadian Pine" that I found at Walgreens, with some ornaments that I have accumulated over the years.

This year, I was going to buy a real tree - and by that, I meant a six foot "Canadian Pine" from the hardware store. Something more realistic than my three foot table-top tree.

Well...I ended up going with something even more realistic, instead.



On Sunday, J and I went to Crane Neck Christmas Tree Farm with some friends and hauled a nice eight foot tree back with us.





Oh, and for the record, we were this tall in Christmas 2007:

Luckiest Girl in the World

Last night I had the most wonderful dream.

I was at "work," and had run downstairs to go grab lunch. On my way out, I asked my boyfriend -- this beefy Irish guy that I worked with -- what he wanted for lunch. He was feeling sick, so he wanted a very specific soup. When I ran downstairs to grab it for him, I bumped into another co-worker, my best friend J. I had just grabbed a semi-viable substitution for the soup that they did not have, but J asked if I wanted to join him for lunch in the park, and I completely forgot about my sick boyfriend waiting upstairs.

We walked across the street and sat near some flowers under a tree. I was having such a good time, and he was so beautiful and sweet and funny. I had had the biggest crush on him for the longest time and it was so painful because I had this really sweet mild mannered boyfriend, but I was in love with J. He was so perfect and we were so wonderful together - I mean, we were best friends. I was torn up inside and I had no idea what I was going to do.

I woke up and looked around -- I was already dating J. He mumbled something in his sleep and scratched his nose. I settled back down into the covers, feeling warm and happy. I was already with my best friend. He was laying right there next to me.

I Feel Like I'm Dating A Rock Star

So just in case you hadn't heard, my boyfriend is famous.

Well...Internet famous. His face is ALL. OVER. THE. INTERNET. This is because he is super awesome and creative.

Here's the photo that started it all.

Lazy Sunday

This is one of my favorite pictures of J in the whole world.

For the same reason that I love it when he wears his glasses, I love how this picture makes me feel comfortable and safe in our relationship. He also has a pair of slippers that made me want to date him a year ago, because they remind me of feeling warm and content, the way a cup of hot cocoa and a fire can make me feel. I know -- I'm the world's biggest nerd, but those slippers...

It's this kind of lazy Sunday afternoon, where the sunlight kisses the room while he hacks his own computer and I sit next to him and knit, that I wish I could bottle up and save for later, when our lives get hectic again.

It's pictures like this that make me miss him. Even when he's just two miles away.

"Why would you pay for candy porn when you can download it for free on the Internet?"

Every year around this time, candy corn hits the aisles again, and it's about at this time every year that I eat myself sick of candy corn. Thankfully, most supermarkets don't stock candy corn year round, and this saves me from eating it until I truly never want to eat it again. J also likes candy corn, which is just another sign from the universe that we were meant to be together, because I have a hard time meeting people who will eat candy corn with me.

The other day, we were in his car after a day of shopping, and we passed a pet grooming store called "Doggie Styles." I was laughing so hard I couldn't get the story out in one breath.J laughed, but also told me I was "terrible."

Later, I heard him say something about "Candy Porn," but he insisted that he had said "Candy corn," and I started to develop a complex. It wasn't until much later, when I was in hysterics about the doggie styles salon yet again, that he admitted he'd said candy porn, after all.

So while I may not be crazy or hard of hearing, we've established that I do have a dirty mind. But so does J. And he also likes candy porn corn. I think he could be the one.

lolz^9

Looking through my old emails today, I found this:

From: Briar
Subject: PLASTIC CUPS FOR SAM AND ALLIE'S

>BRING THEM OR DIE

J's response? (At my place, as I was standing over his shoulder watching him type)

let them eat cake ... and plastic cups ... AND DIE ... omg ... lolz^8... better yet, to the NINTH *explosion*

I'm fairly certain we were both tired at the time, but that makes it no less funny.

Even the Humpback whales use sippy cups

[From my unpublished archives, dated 31 August, 2007]

Zach, from the archived threads at WhaleASK, asked:

Some friends and I were talking about whales and the subject of drinking came up. People (and I assume other land mammals) have to drink water pretty frequently or they will dehydrate and die. How do marine mammals take in water? Is it absorbed through the skin somehow? Is it ingested and absorbed some other way? Are they "drinking" all the time, or does it only happen part of the time? How do they deal with the salt content of the water?

Thanks in advance,
Zach

It just so happens that J and I were discussing this very topic last night, Zach. Evidently, whales take in water using sippy cups. Not even whale sized ones. Normal sized sippy cups.

Doesn't it blow your mind?

Guster - Satellite

How can I not be totally in love with this guy?:

"This song reminds me of you because I like Science. And I like you."

Shining like a work of art
Hanging on a wall of stars
Are you what I think you are?

You're my satellite
You're riding with me tonight
Passenger side, lighting the sky
Always the first star that I find
You're my satellite

Elevator to the moon
Just a little favorite tune
Trying to get a closer view

You're my satellite
You're riding with me tonight
Passenger side, lighting the sky
Always the first star that I find
You're my satellite

Maybe you will always be
Just a little out of reach

You're my satellite
You're riding with me tonight
Passenger side, lighting the sky
Always the first star that I find
You're my satellite
You're my satellite

Guster - Satellite [mp3]

That's why I grew up to be the way I am

I was a very very very intense, quiet child. I usually read books in a corner and didn't want to talk to anyone.

Is that strange? People seemed to like me anyway. And then they wanted to talk to me, even though I was all sorts of not interested and could they please leave me alone so I could finish this chapter?

It doesn't always work as well as an adult. Today, I was told about how depression can cause certain things in people's life to deteriorate (social circles, careers, life-paths), and one of the reasons you may have a hard time pulling yourself out of the depression, even if you try really really hard, is that even though sometimes you try, people who don't truly care about you aren't going to put up with the shit you dole out when you're at a low point, and the consequences aren't always easily undone. (I have never loved J more than when I typed that paragraph...)

That makes sense, even though mostly I think I come off as quiet and shy, and sometimes I say stupid things and instead of letting them go I die a million deaths inside and stop talking. Personally, I have a Very Hard Time returning to places that make me remember the god-awful lows, and if I've embarrassed myself in front of someone (by doing something they probably didn't even notice), I have a hard time ever speaking to them again. I know running away from things isn't the solution, but sometimes I wish that I didn't get one chance at a first impression...especially when some alien thing has taken over my body and people aren't really meeting me.

I want to work past this, I really do, but it's time to face the reality that all the meds are going to do is make me more myself. And I should be comfortable being myself -- and my self is quiet. She is shy. And sometimes she would rather be reading a book quietly and alone instead of talking to people.

I'm working on it, at any rate.

A Day at the Beach

Yesterday, J and I spent the day at the beach.

It was so refreshing to take a 3-day weekend for ourselves for no reason, and it was a fitting "end" to a weekend full of activity.

Granted, there were a lot of screaming kids, and some rambunctious, Frisbee-throwing teenagers, but it was still significantly less crowded than it would have been on a Saturday, and it was still relaxing and glorious.

He started reading Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, while I pored through the most recent Potter book...like many other people are doing now.

It made it so much harder to be at work today, partially because it felt so nice, and partially because my dosage was increased and now I'm tired as all holy hell. Tired, but happy...

I'll take it.

He bought my flowers, I gave him a cold

"More Animals Need To Be Shot From Cannons"

I volunteered to watch my friends' rats when they went out of town...
J said, "This is all fine and good, until they get out of their cage"
"Then I'd need a snake -- to get them out of the apartment!"
"Then you'd have a snake"
"I'd get a coyote....but then...I guess I don't know how I'd get rid of a coyote..."
"You'd have to get a cheetah."
"There is nothing that would solve a cheetah infestation, J"
"Except a great white shark"
"Now how the hell would we get a shark into the apartment?"
"A CANNON!"

Cheetah Attack

"Hurry! You're missing the intro! You're missing a zebra, chasing a bunch of gazelle"
[silence]
"And elephants!"
[more silence]
"And seals! And a cheetah!
[nothing]
"Eating a penguin!"

"...Wait. A WHAT? All I heard was a zebra and a gazelle...A bunch of stuff I'm not interested in...And cheetahs eating penguins."

Later...

"Look at those penguins just sitting there like jerks! Lazy penguins."
"You know what they need? A good old fashioned cheetah attack."
"The Discovery Channel should bring their own cheetahs to the penguin colonies."
"That would show them."

Woo! Pete Yorn!

Two and a half months ago, J bought me tickets to see Pete Yorn in concert, and that concert is tonight.

I want to put something in perspective here very quickly, though, because I think it’s important to note that two and a half months ago, J and I had only been dating for a few weeks. I did not expect a birthday present from him, even a little bit, but instead of no present, he bought two tickets to see Pete Yorn - after we’d had just one casual conversation about how Pete Yorn would be at Avalon in March. I won’t get all gushy about how amazing it is to have a boyfriend who pays attention to details like that and makes me Pete Yorn themed birthday cards with concert tickets that (if I’d have opened the card correctly) would pop out from an elaborate set up of paper and scotch tape, or how wonderful it is to spend a lot of time with a boy who cooks things for me, and says “as well,” instead of “too,” or “also,” but I will say that I’m really happy about being with someone who told me it was okay if I exposed myself to Pete Yorn tonight, even though he probably thought I was kidding.

It’s been about three months since our first date (actually, what’s really barf-ably cute is that it’s three months to the day since our first official date), and I’m really glad that we threw caution to the wind several times over, because [adding to a really long list of reasons I’m happy,] for the first time in about a year, I actually have a concert buddy! I won’t tell you how much cooler it will be going to this concert with someone I really like instead of going with nobody. We Are Scientists were awesome, but seeing concerts on your lonesome is less than awesome. I know that it takes someone “brave” to go see a concert alone, but what it really is is “pathetic,” and what no one says when they call you “brave” for doing things like that alone is that instead of being jealous, they’re really kind of sad that you seem to have no friends. Yeah, maybe they’re a little jealous because goddamn, you went to see the Raconteurs, and screw everyone if they didn’t want to go with you that night, but really they’re wondering what is wrong with you that you can’t find a concert buddy.

No?

Whatever. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that paranoia tonight.

Exposing myself to Pete Yorn

"Oh yeah, so I got an email recently about an 'Expose yourself to Pete Yorn' contest."
"Expose yourself to Pete Yorn? Sounds. Interesting..."
"I'm not sure exactly what it entails, but if it's anything like what it sounds like, I'M TOTALLY DOING IT AT THE CONCERT!"
"Awesome. I won't be"
"Really? You wouldn't mind if I exposed myself to Pete Yorn?"
"As long as you didn't get invited backstage."
"Hey! I might. These are pretty nice."
"Mmmm."

My Non-Factory-Made Valentine's Day

Last night J took me to dinner in the suburb where he used to live before he moved into the city.

It's always been so...arduous before. Valentine's day, I mean. I've never liked the factory-made feelings that come with the holiday, and so even though I kind of had the perfect present in mind, I was actually really relieved when he suggested that we not do cheesy V-day gifts, and just spend time together. It's the only thing I could ever want from him, anyway, and maybe I cheated and adapted the gift for his birthday, which is coming up soon.

After dinner and an unfruitful supermarket adventure where we searched for strawberry creme peeps, we watched The Squid and the Whale -- because no Valentine's day would be complete without a little bit of Wes Anderson flavored dark comedy.

And it was pretty perfect. And not factory-made at all.