from postsecret.blogspot.com

I know I shouldn't even go here, because of all the topics that I least like to discuss, religion is in the top three, but comments like this really irk the hell out of me. So then your faith wasn't all that strong, post card person. You can't actually hate Bill Maher, because if you believed strongly enough, Bill Maher would just be another idiot in the masses whose faith was misguided and wrong. I think you hate yourself for being so weak. If you need other people to reinforce your beliefs? You're a sheep, which is probably appropriate given that you want to join the fold and all that. But I wish that, instead, this post card read "I hate myself for letting this guy confuse me about my faith when I was just starting to find it again." I'm pretty good at the self-loathing, post card person. I can teach you if you need a lesson or two on personal responsibility self blame.


Find religion, post card person, have faith. But stop blaming Bill Maher when it eludes you. It's not his fault you're confused.

I read post secret to feel connected with people, and that's what it did in it's inception, but these days I feel like it's just a bunch of people griping about asinine things, using bad grammar and being incapable of figuring out the difference between they're and their, and your and you're, while being homophobes.

It's because you are

I'm sorry, I don't understand. How exactly are you "wonderful" and "tolerant," if you can't tolerate homosexuality...I don't consider myself a tolerant person, but I do consider myself liberal, and I do think that anti-homosexual people are fucking ridiculous not-wonderful assholes...

...Oh wait, did I say that out loud? Was I supposed to be "tolerant" because I'm liberal? Did I just prove your asinine point?

Or about grammar.

America's Next Top Model: The Girl Who Goes Bald

Last night the girls on America's Next Top Model were dressed as flowers, and Tyra took the flower metaphor waaay to far. Tyra's crazy, and I love her for it, but sometimes she just needs to quit it -- last night was one of those times. Get ready to be "deflowered"??? Are you serious, Tyra? And then the girls who all thought deflowered --> being nude? Jesus God, people. Mary and I looked at each other and immediately burst into laughter.

Last week I told someone I was having trouble doing these ANTM recaps without using the word "bitch," so this week I'm going to try really hard to keep the use of the word bitch to this paragraph explaining how, no matter how much I may want to, I can't use...that word. (One more time to get it out of my system: ...bitch)

This week was the most glorious week in ANTM: Makeover week! Mostly, I like to see girls cry when Tyra hacks off all their hair or gives them weaves. It's so predictable. Also, as a professional who uses rendering software to get that photo-realistic look for important presentations, I especially appreciated the digitized photos of the girls' makeovers. Way to use MS Paint, guys! Can I outsource my next presentation board to you all?

Most of the makeovers were not good. Saleisha got this bob that...might be cute? In certain lighting? The other makeovers were drastic, yet tired. Bianca's hair was so fried they had to shave it all off. She was a good sport about it, and I get why she was crying, but I have very little sympathy for someone who fries their hair out so badly it needs to be shaved off. It was pink for crying out loud. She should have known better -- this is high fashion, as Tyra pointed out, not Queens. Heather got the best makeover of all: a trim and some highlights.

This week's challenge was "the Cover Girl challenge" (the tables of make-up, etc). Sarah won, and the other girls were just glad it wasn't Saleisha again. I just remembered a tiny unrelated detail that blew my mind...When Niles introduced his wife?! I never thought, with all the womanizing he clearly does, that Niles might be married! Wow. Just wow.

The photo shoot, as previously mentioned, was flower themed. The girls were dressed up as follows:

Ambreal - Rose
Bianca - Sunflower
Chantal - Baby's Breath
Ebony - Bird of Paradise
Heather - Weeds
Janet - Hydrangea
Jenah - Moss
Lisa - Bamboo
Saleisha - Tulip
Sarah - Ivy
Victoria - Cactus

I liked the concept, and the look on Heather's face when she found out she was a weed was priceless. Victoria simply doesn't get it -- being a flower?...Is dumb. She comes at it from the perspective of a student, though. She weighs the pros and cons and seems to come to the visible conclusion that her heart is not in it. To the cameras, though, she states that she's going to try harder because she can win this; probably because she's never gotten less than an A- in her life, and like all other things she must not fail at this (I have a bad habit of projecting, but something in that last sentence makes so much sense that I feel like I get Victoria).

The elimination round: Victoria and Saleisha are in the bottom. Victoria totally got that she was a cactus because she has a prickly personality, but she mouths off to Twiggy during the panel, and Tyra tells her that top models are gracious and sans attitude. Saleisha is told that she isn't photographing as well as she should, and that her eyes have no emotion - there's nothing behind them (like a brain).

Eventually the chip on Victoria's shoulder does her in, and she is eliminated. As she leaves the house, she admits that it's better this way so that she doesn't steal some girl's dream. Ultimately, I did like Victoria, even though she came off as very condescending -- probably because I can relate. I think the cutting room floor was not kind to her, so maybe her clips were...manipulated - and if anyone's going to be okay after elimination, it's her. Now that Victoria's gone, though, I can focus all of my attention on Heather. Beautiful, wonderful, unaffected Heather -- who is very much going to be America's Next Top Model unless she completely blows the commercial competition..

ANTM: The Girls Go Green

I forgot to post this on Thursday, but this week's ANTM was interesting, if I'm allowed to use the word interesting loosely. What is it with all these "girls from the 'hood" with the chips on their shoulders this year? There was almost a bitch fight between Bianca and Lisa, and eventually Lisa started crying and cursing. Bianca is obviously threatened by Lisa and overcompensated for this by telling her she was a terrible model, and I'm pretty sure that she said something about her being "one step away from a plus size model," whatever that means. I could eat most of these girls. Bianca is not really Top Model material yet, and whether or not she chooses to learn during this competition might have something to do with not worrying about what the other girls are up to more than worrying about her own actions. Still, I have to admire her scheming ways...apologizing to Lisa because she's "strategizing." What a conniving bitch. You know I mean that in the best way: from one conniving bitch to another.

The disappointing lack of courtesy and grace continued when every. single. one of the girls ragged on Heather because of her autism, and I could practically see the thought bubbles that read, "Well, crap -- I can obviously beat this girl because she has a disability. She'll probably get the boot this week" Except Victoria, of course. See, Victoria is "smart enough" to get into Yale, which means she's smart enough to tell the camera things that imply that she's above everyone else, like how she doesn't get involved in the cat-fights. The problem I have with Vicky's tactic is that saying things like that out loud negates the social grace involved in not getting involved, but alas, that is the trap of the reality show cameras. Besides, I kind of like Victoria. Aside from the fact that she's on Top Model, she seems to be pretty down to earth. And Heather is going to bitch slap a lot of these girls week after week because the camera LOVES her, and she has Asperger's which may make her socially awkward, but given the diagnosis, not linguistically or cognitively slow. Other girls? Excuses, please?

The competition this week was a ten-minute shopping spree at Old Navy. The girls had to find something "high-fashion" and piece it together to be judged by Tyra and the panel. Saleisha won the competition, and could very well win the Top Model designation. She's certainly got my tentative early pick.

The theme of this week's photos was smoking's cruel side effects. The girls did one pose in a glam getup, looking into a mirror that was (photoshop) reflecting their second pose, where they were made-up to represent the horrible disease that was caused by their smoking.

Ebony and Mila were the bottom two models this week. Ebony lost her sparkle after being told that all the other girls hate her, and Mila couldn't stop laughing at her post-radiation chemo get-up.

Partially because of her uncontrollable hysteria, and partially because she seems vapid and unable to absorb large words -- forget basic concepts -- Mila gets sent home.

ANTM - Cycle 9 Premiere

Last night, J suffered through his first episode of America's Next Top Model. He was a good sport, but I don't think he'll be making the mistake of coming over on Wednesdays anymore. I don't know why this show is so addicting for me. I remember exactly when I first started watching it, and it was only because Alisa would have it on the TV every Wednesday. I'm not deliberately being aloof about this -- I honestly only watched when Alisa and Ben did. At first. Now I could make all the excuses in the world, but the truth is that this show has the power to suck me in like no other reality show ever has. I've watched the occasional episode of Project Runway, and from time to time I enjoy Extreme Home Makeover or Trading Spaces, but none of them has the ability to draw me to the TV on a weekly basis.

Last night, 30 girls boarded a cruise for the cycle premiere, and only 13 emerged as contestants for "The Future of Fashion." The winner will receive management and representation from Elite Model Management, a $100,000 CoverGirl contract, and a cover and six-page spread in Seventeen, which seems underwhelming given the winner used to be featured in Elle.

I was, as usual these days, unimpressed by the girls. Sometimes there is something in one or two of them that tugs at me, but this time not a single girl resonated with me off the bat. Hopefully there will be some redeeming qualities as the season progresses, but I'm skeptical. One of the more brilliant moments was when one of the girls stated that she wanted to be on the show to do something that matters...to give back to the community -- by being on America's Next Top Model. What a contribution to society! She is so selfless. I hope she wins.

The final 13 girls:

Ambreal, 19, from Dallas, Texas
Bianca, 18, from Queens, New York
Chantal, 19, from Austin, Texas
Ebony, 20, from Chicago, Illinois
Heather, 21, from Valparaiso, Indiana
Janet Mills, 22, from Bainbridge, Georgia
Jenah, 18, from Farmington, Connecticut
Kimberly Leemans, 20, from Ocala, Florida
Lisa, 20, from Jersey City, New Jersey
Mila, 20, from Boston, Massachusetts
Saleisha, 21, from Los Angeles, California
Sarah Hartshorne, 20, from Heath, Massachusetts
Victoria Marshman, 20, from New Haven, Connecticut

My only regret is that Marvita (the girl with the sweet mohawk) did not make the final cut. True, she did not cry like the other "punk-ass" girls, which made her even more awesome in my book, but they really did a number on us with her story. During her interview, Tyra commented on how "a lot of bad people had done a lot of bad things [to her]," and, on National television, Marvita explained about the sexual abuse, rape, and homelessness. Then she didn't make the cut because they didn't see her as "high-fashion." Way to capitalize on that sob story, Tyra.

And is it just me, or were a lot of the girls whiny little bitches last night? I watched the first three cycles on VH1 a while back, and was astounded by how nice the girls were to each other. Yes, this is a competition, but they were all there for the same reason and there was a mutual respect amongst the contestants; a mutual respect that has been sorely lacking in recent cycles. I think they're just deliberately picking the bitchiest girls they can find these days so that there will be drama in the house.

Spam: Modern Literature

Shakespeare and Jane Austen have nothing on these guys:

cant goodbye some god mischievous might ticket?
ought science ought?
promised grew bread taught. pie forth bad oh taken am taught.

----------

Franz rubbed his breathe modern eyes in bound suit order to assure himself "In the Corso."

"Bravo!" kindly call cladistic broken said the captain.

"I hope it thank breakable may be lavatorial so," replied won Caderousse, his face "I am all bet cute idea attention," rotten said the abb.

"Bravo!" care repeated hover the blonde sailors. less And they all looked "This," replied poised Signor picture bitten Pastrini, "that enthusiastically you will go."

My Predictions Were Way Off!

I have a quick confession to make, and that's that once Benji and Donyelle were safe, I didn't pay too much attention to the results show tonight. I kind of packed. And washed dishes.

But anyway, my predictions were wrong! In the bottom three tonight:
Heidi and Ryan (gasp!)
Ivan and Alison (gasp! gasp!)
Jessica and Jamyz (erm...well, no gasp there)

I'm SO HAPPY that Dmitry and Ashlee weren't in the bottom three! Yay! The surprised looks on their faces were fantastic (I'm sure they were only surprised because of Dmitry's reputation -- because like I said, I really liked their routine last night)

Jessica and Jamyz, according to the judges, both have good technique, but they have NO personality. They didn't think that about Jamyz as much as Jessica, but it was implied. So the blahs are gone! Let's see what happens next week! Squee!

[Currently Spinning: KT Tunstall - Suddenly I See]

Oh Man...I'm Doing it Again...

...Blogging about So You Think You Can Dance, that is.

As the number of couples on SYTYCD dwindles down, I can't help but get sad because it will all be over soon. I know that next season, I'll love it again, even without Benji (because he's going to win this one), but honestly? Last season I wasn't attached to anyone. It's either that my reality TV addiction hadn't kicked in, or that there was no one completely special to me, but even shows like ANTM, where I favor some girls over others, I don't get seriously attached--like with Benji. Aaanyway...Here's my quick recap of last night:

Heidi and Ryan - Hip-Hop -- Oh my. Oh....my. Heidi and Ryan were amazing. I had no idea they had it in them, but Heidi was fantastic. I may have voted for them a few times when the Benji-line was busy.
Martha and Travis - Salsa -- . I did not like. It looked like the Salsa that I used to do with Joey on Saturday nights. It looked great for amateurs, but did not have what it takes to win SYTYCD. I kind of hope they're in the bottom three, even though Travis is so popular. IMO, he proved that he doesn't have what it takes to beat Benji. I do heart Travis, but this week's performance was not good.
Dmitry and Ashlee - Contemporary (to Fall Out Boy's Dance Dance) -- I thought it was extremely entertaining, and I think that Ashlee has an astounding personality that can actually make Dmitry look good. I know Dmitry is a good dancer, but I was so angry with him for being a bad partner. I noticed this week that the problem wasn't Dmitry. It was the blah girls he was with before. I should have figured, given that he dances with Heidi -- and Heidi is a great dancer, with a good personality (She's still not my favorite, but I can't put my finger on why).
Natalie and Musa - Disco -- Uh, isn't disco dead? It certainly was last night. There was nothing special in this routine; the choreography was bad, the dancing was mediocre - at least the tricks were good. Methinks things are cooling off between Natalie and Musa, as well.
Donyelle and Benji - "Vietnamese" Waltz -- Yes, yes, the Viennese waltz . When will Benji and Donyelle do something that's not completely...WOW? Never, is what I say. I was actually moved to tears -- yeah, that's right. I was crying. I spent an hour after the show voting 302 times instead of writing up this summary while it was fresh on my mind. What? There was a contest. I lost, but next week...Next week I will vote more than 660 times and beat that girl, *trixie*. The harlot.
Ivan and Alison - West Coast Swing -- Ivan and Alison were "okay." The unfair thing is that I've seen a lot of Benji's routines online, and because there are a set number of moves and how you execute them...Well, a lot of times I'd watch Ivan do something and think, "But Benji does it better." Unfortunately, I couldn't get past that. Their Swing was like Travis and Martha's Salsa. Amateur, but only by comparison.
Jessica and Jamyz - Hip-Hop -- Meh. Yawn. Especially after Heidi and Ryan's WOW performance; this hip-hop routine was kind of bland; like its dancers.

My predictions for bottom three tonight: Martha and Travis, Dmitry and Ashlee, and Jessica and Jamyz.

However, I won't be surprised if, instead of Martha and Travis, it's Ivan and Alison or Natalie and Musa. But I'm really bad at calling these things, so...

[Currently Spinning: Kitty Cat Dance]