from postsecret.blogspot.com

I know I shouldn't even go here, because of all the topics that I least like to discuss, religion is in the top three, but comments like this really irk the hell out of me. So then your faith wasn't all that strong, post card person. You can't actually hate Bill Maher, because if you believed strongly enough, Bill Maher would just be another idiot in the masses whose faith was misguided and wrong. I think you hate yourself for being so weak. If you need other people to reinforce your beliefs? You're a sheep, which is probably appropriate given that you want to join the fold and all that. But I wish that, instead, this post card read "I hate myself for letting this guy confuse me about my faith when I was just starting to find it again." I'm pretty good at the self-loathing, post card person. I can teach you if you need a lesson or two on personal responsibility self blame.


Find religion, post card person, have faith. But stop blaming Bill Maher when it eludes you. It's not his fault you're confused.

I read post secret to feel connected with people, and that's what it did in it's inception, but these days I feel like it's just a bunch of people griping about asinine things, using bad grammar and being incapable of figuring out the difference between they're and their, and your and you're, while being homophobes.

Half Blood Prince Featurette

Something to tide us over until July 17th - which cannot come soon enough!

Crash Course in Cooking

So, I have been cooking more, lately - in fact we haven't spent any money on food since last Saturday when we went grocery shopping, and even after I used most of our food, I managed to squeeze some veggies and bulk potatoes into a soup!

It's overwhelming to throw down $100+ at the supermarket. It feels like quite a bit of money, and it kind of makes me want to cry sometimes, but we do everything we can to keep the costs low, and while we do treat ourselves every now and again (we don't scrimp on olive oil, for instance, or certain spices), we use coupons, buy store brands, and take advantage of sales.

I made myself kind of sad with the photography. Food photography is tough to begin with, but our apartment has such shitty lighting, and I occasionally get a good shot,







But mostly, I get shaky shots, or shots of pork tenderloin looking undercooked.

And then nights like last night, when I had a stressful day and have been eating cheese since 10AM, we make a 1/3 cup of lentils, have some hummus and call it a night. No, it's not gourmet cooking, but it's better than our usual standby of Taco Bell or Aram's Pizza.

So documenting hasn't improved my cooking, but cooking has improved my cooking, if that makes any sense.

The only recipe to emerge from this month was the Rosemary Chicken (first picture of the three shown above). It's delicious, it's baked, and it's got sweet potatoes and leeks, so the vegetables are right in there with everything - a one stop cooking wonder. I just need to get the quantities right, because the recipe calls for a whole chicken, and I'm just not comfortable with that. Next step: mastering the Rosemary Chicken, and finding a new recipe.

Hope

The other day I was walking home and I saw some Obama propaganda papered onto a light post. It made my heart skip a beat, and I was happy that I lived in this country, again.

The feeling took me by surprise, especially since the afterglow of Obama's inauguration has passed. I'm proud of us, America.

Keys: Found!

J found my keys in the unlikeliest of places - the one purse I didn't check because I haven't used it since last February! I guess I put them in there when I considered using the purse on Sunday, but forgot to bring them with me when I decided to use a large tote bag, instead.

PHEW.

Today is a mess

It started this morning, on our way out the door, when I realized that I couldn't find my keys. J was the last person to open the front door, and it's possible I haven't had my keys since before Saturday, when we went to dinner. I called the only two places we have been since then, and nothing.

J lent me his keys for the day, and instead of making a copy, we just figured we'd find mine when I got home and had a chance to look under every cushion, in every coat pocket. So I went to the Target in Dorchester, because I wanted some Orla Kiley canisters which happen to be sold out at every Target near me. I had a gift card from my birthday, and I've been waiting for just the right purchase, and thought I had found it in Orla's Target line.

All the way out in South Boston I find what I'm looking for, barely, because all of the canisters are busted, and besides, I left my gift card at home. I finally decided to buy the smallest canister they're selling, the only one that's not busted, which isn't going to be as useful as the bigger ones, but I figured it's pretty and today sucks, so I'm going to reward myself by spending money I don't really have on things I don't really need.

On the shuttle back to the T station, some random Dorchester dude screamed into his cell phone repeatedly. He must have called the same woman, Colleen, seven times over the course of our fifteen minute shuttle ride, to leave angry messages, or tell her that he couldn't hear her, but he'd call her back (fifteen seconds later), earning himself dozens of dirty looks from the passengers which did nothing to embarrass him or, more importantly, shut up his face. The best part was when he muttered something about "fucking people," to himself, and then apologized to me for his "language."

I finally got home, feeling completely on edge, wishing I had been able to make a Dr's appointment before March (I called in early January), because I've run out of Ativan. I tore the apartment to shreds looking for my keys, and still, nothing.

I already felt like I should crawl into bed and let today be done with, but I decided to spend time doing some data entry (my current paid gig). Nothing could get worse while I was innocently working at my computer, right?

I got an email from Urban Outfitters. Turns out that the two duvet covers I bought for $14, each, which I was going to turn into four curtain panels, have sold out, so they canceled an order I made early last week. I was so happy when I bought them because not only were they thicker fabric than the curtains with the same print, but each curtain panel costs $30! That was a savings of over $90! Not only did today suck, but now U.O. is going back in time, to my happy place, to screw with me!

I bought the last tapestry they had for $36, because fuck. I can only make two curtains out of it, if I'm lucky, so If they email me to tell me that I didn't get that "last one" in stock, I'm going to have to lick the Ativan dust out of my prescription bottle.

I am so done with today. Today can suck it.

Wait. What?

"When I was in high school, my desire was to be a sportscaster, until I learned that you'd have to move to Bristol, Connecticut. It was far away. So instead, I had a daughter and named her Bristol." -Sarah Palin

February's Book

This month, my book is 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus by Charles C. Mann. I'm barely 37 pages into this book, and I am loving it. The book addresses issues surrounding the Euro-centric view that is taken, even by many well-established anthropologists, of Native American culture prior to the arrival of Columbus (although Mann uses the non-p.c. term "Indian" to refer to any of the natives, he explains why in the book). Mostly, the book contradicts the belief that pre-Columbian Indians were "sparsely settled in a pristine wilderness; rather, there were huge numbers of Indians who actively molded and influenced the land around them." What drew me to this book, besides the fact that J recently bought it, is the idea that many Americans use pre-Columbian Indians as a model for eco-friendly life, even though our preconceptions about these people are way off. It chalenges many of the ideas we have today about global development, more importantly how to fix the problems we are having right now, and I have to say that it's a pretty fascinating topic.

I just finished reading Devil in the White City, the biographical tale of the World's Columbian Exposition in 1893, and how the fair created the perfect setting for serial killer H.H. Holmes. Devil in the White City is written with a kind of narrative that reads almost like fiction, and I thought I'd continue in that vein with 1491. Mann writes as an archeologist, a scholar, and just a regular guy who thinks the topic is pretty awesome, and the latter is how his writing comes off.

More on Customer Service

I have always believed that everyone should have a job in customer service at some point in their lives. I learned more working retail this holiday season, after leaving my office job, than I ever did at that office job. However, the best part is that while you may have to deal with irrational people in corporate life (I know I did. All the time), the irrational people stories in retail are usually more colorful, although there's a lot to be said about the temp at my old firm whose "contract wasn't renewed" about four months after he punched a wall because I guess that's how long the paperwork takes.
But anyway, now that I've already blurbed my (second) worst corporate story, I thought I'd share my worst retail experience.
Just before Christmas I was ringing up a woman's purchases - a vase and a particularly unwieldy bunch of fake flowering branches, which were too large for our standard bags, but who the woman had insisted be "wrapped up so [she] could get them home safely." She handed me her credit card, and after I swiped it, I turned to look for a solution while she signed the pad. I was in the middle of shimmying these things into one of our umbrella bags, when she reached over the counter and grabbed her card, telling me, "I'm going to take my card. I've been a customer here for years."
I smiled and nodded (who cares how long you've been a customer here?), then wrestled with the branches some more. After finally getting the things settled in their bag, I put the charge through to get her receipt, when she asked me if I was going to check her signature.
Stunned, I said, "Sure, can I see your card?"
She showed me her card, but kept a death grip on the thing instead of letting me have it. "Looks good to me. Here's your branches...and..."
"How could you possibly remember what my signature looked like?" She demanded.
I told her that, out of habit, I had glanced at her signature before I cleared the screen, and her A's were similar. She was clearly bat-shit crazy, but hadn't deliberately signed the two differently (although I wouldn't have put it past her).
I handed her things to her over the counter, but she wouldn't have any of it, and kept insisting that we discuss why I was so stupid—at no point did she even give me time to interject with niceties—and after a few minutes of listening to her berate me, I was done. I just wanted to get to the long line that was building behind her.
Finally, I interrupted her. "Okay," was all I said, then turned around to help another customer who had been patiently waiting for this lady's insanity to simmer down. Thinking that if the worst I could do to this woman was not say "Have a nice day," (since she wouldn't let me, anyway) I thought ignoring her might get rid of her, and it did. I proceeded to help a very nice man choose some cookware...
Until about thirty seconds later, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Crazy had come back to tell me that she didn't appreciate my attitude, and she did not like the way I'd left things with her. She wanted to know how on earth I decided to work in retail if I hated people so much. Then she asked to speak to a manager.
She asked my manager if they could speak privately while she looked at me with crazy eyes. Out of earshot, she told my manager that she would not, could not buy anything from someone with such a negative energy. She returned everything, but that's not the best part. She then made my manager RING HER UP AGAIN.
The store didn't lose any money, and this woman got to go home with some ugly fake branches no one sane would ever need. My manager and I had a "talk" about this situation—we talked about how bat-shit crazy that woman had to have been. So the moral, here?
Maybe there is no moral. One thing I know for sure - this woman has never worked in retail. She could also use some lessons in common courtesy ("Would you please check my signature so I can have my card back? I'd hate to forget it"), as well as a refresher on cause and effect (before the incident, I had been smiling happily, and chatting about how beautiful those stupid, ugly branches were going to look in her house). I hope that her cat (this woman had at least three cats, trust me) ate every last fake flower on those hideous branches and cost that woman thousands in vet bills, because I'll bet those ugly branches are not very good for cats' stomachs.

RSS Blips

If anyone reads this through an RSS feed, you might have seen some earlier posts post today - I decided to put them up because I no longer work at my old job, and I thought it was better to be honest, and post them now. I have less to lose; I didn't want to rock the boat at work, before.

I still have some uncomfortable moments thinking about privacy issues and the fact that this blog is highly searchable, but since these issues are personal and not actually work related, and I've been working through them, I figured it might be helpful for anyone who might come by who is struggling with the same things. I tried not to post about work when I was still there, but my job was so high stress that it was impossible to temper that all the time. Still, I'm proud that it took me this long to post those entries. Mostly I'm letting go - and that's an integral part of my story. So there it is.

Problems with CSS Fixed Width

This entry will probably be of no interest to most of the people who still read this blog, but for my own personal reasons I need to document my progress in resolving this issue - if only because every time I run into a problem coding a website, I remember that I had the same, or a similar problem last time I was coding a website. When I can't remember how I resolved certain problems, it kind of makes me want to put my face through things. More so when I figure it out again. So much for learning the hard way.

I'm doing the xhtml/css for a friend's website. He's a graphic designer, himself, so the design he proposed is clean, simple, and pretty streamlined. Simple enough. Or so I thought.

The most current problem I resolved was that my navbar was bullying my main window, taking up the remainder of the container instead of being the fixed width that it had been assigned, which pushed the main window down below the navbar.


You can see the problem above. This was all very confusing and it started happening when I brought iframes into the equation, although iframes had nothing to do with it (multitasking...sometimes it's not your friend). I knew that the css had to be buggy, but I couldn't figure out how. I did the basic scan of open brackets, missing semi-colons...all of it checked out:

#navbar {
position: relative;
display: inline;
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
width: 90px;
height: auto;
background: #ffffff;
}

After an hour of using firebug, gnashing my teeth, and not seeing anything helpful, I added this, practically on a whim:

#navbar {
float: left;
position: relative;
display: inline;
margin: 0;
padding: 0;
width: 90px;
height: auto;
background: #ffffff;
}

It worked! I remember facing this problem with the index page of my own website, and as you can imagine, it's really frustrating to have spent an hour banging my head against the wall before that simple no-brainer solution finally started to come into focus. Especially on a project with a fixed budget.

Now. Onto iframes.

(design by tim gentle)

25 things to do before I turn 26

1. Reshape and rebuild my website so that it's something I want to share with everyone I meet
2. Take up yoga, again!
3. Use a letterpress
4. Blockprint
5. Lose ten pounds
6. Ride my bike more places that we would normally take the car
7. Cook at least five times a week
8. Create a new budget, reflecting my new life changes and future goals
9. Read at least one book a month
10. Ride our bikes in Rhode Island, or Maine, or up the coast. Something scenic, and long
11. Have one screen-free night a week
12. Master at least four new recipes
13. Sew a dress
14. Put some entries in my etsy shop!
15. Dress up for Halloween, make our costumes
16. Finish Dan and Lydia's wedding present (afghan)
17. Make my Christmas presents this year
18. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge (I've ridden across on my bike before, but didn't have time to take pictures, or absorb)
19. Make 25 pieces of art
20. Take a dance class
21. Go sledding
22. Plant an herb garden
23. Find some photo booths and take pictures
24. See Bishop Allen live
25. Deep clean my home and make it a peaceful, inspiring and beautiful place to live

25 Things I did and didn't do

Last year I was inspired by hulagirl to make a list of things to do before my next birthday. I only managed a few of them, but it was helpful to make the list, and this year's list will be better! Live and learn, I guess.

Things I did do: Built my own website. Screen printed (although it was one t-shirt, one art piece, and many Christmas cards). Started a new list. Began the process of sewing as a means of keeping my clothing nicer longer. Took more photos, and paid closer attention to settings. Made my Christmas cards from scratch. Knit entrelac, although it was just a swatch. Rode my bike four times a week, at least - this slowly dragged as I lost my job and then it got cold, but I was more than successful for a few months. Rode in the New York Five Borough ride. Visited Napa Valley. I'm down to one remaining bulb that isn't a CFL. Got a library card - used it. Built a light box. Used it.

For the most part, things I did not do ended up being things I could live without. As I said, this will only improve the quality of this year's list.

Meal of the Day: Enchiladas

Enchiladas! I get so excited any time anyone mentions them. I love them so much that I buy frozen ones from Trader Joe's just because they're the most authentic thing out east. Sure, I'm half Mexican, learned the recipe from my naturalized grandmother who was born in Chihuahua, but I buy mine from Trader Joe's, because they're "more authentic." Wait. What?

Okay, so the thing about enchiladas: They're messy and they're time intensive. There's either oil involved, or just the flipping and the number of dishes it takes can be overwhelming, plus what do you serve with them? Where's the vegetable? The only thing I do differently than my grandma taught is that I buy my enchilada sauce from Old El Paso instead of making it in my blender from dried red chilies. Oh, and I also buy my tortillas instead of making them from scratch, but let me tell you: I bought some masa last time I was at the supermarket, so watch out supermarket tortillas.

Enchiladas are a highly attention oriented meal, where you're doing all the work the whole time, and then it's time to eat, which is something that doesn't entirely appeal to me (there's something poetic about checking my email while dinner "simmers" or "boils"), but in the end they were delicious and well worth the effort.

The thing that tripped me up was the mexican rice. I haven't ever attempted to make rice that wasn't plain and straightforward rice+water in rice cooker, and I wasn't sure it would turn out fantastically. I added some stewed tomatoes and tomato boullion, and I browned the rice over oil with garlic and onions before throwing them in the rice cooker. Turns out it's hard to screw up rice when you use a rice cooker. Maybe will repeat on Taco night?

Meal of the Day: Beef & Veggie Stir Fry

Today I made a beef and veggie stir fry that was adapted from a Stir Fry cookbook I bought off of half.com years ago. The beef was nice and tender because I marinated it overnight, but for some reason this recipe had much less flavor than it has had the past few times I've made it. I've made this before, but it's taken us a while to find a combination of veggies that works for both of us (hint: only one of those vegetable is actually called for in the book), and last night's rendition was good, but hopefully it's better next time. The first time I made this, I think we both ate in awe and silence for a few minutes, it was that. good.

marinade:
1/2 cup dry red wine (I use cooking wine, but sometimes open a nice bottle of cab or chianti if we're going to have it with dinner)
2 Tbsp soy sauce
1 or 2 cloves of minced garlic

1LB of sirloin, beef tips, or whatever kind of beef you feel like cutting into stir fry appropriate pieces
1/2 cup green onions
1 cup broccoli
1 can of sliced water chestnuts (sometimes I throw these in recipes that don't even call for them! YUM)
1/4 cup of celery (the recipe calls for a ton more, but celery? yuck, after a certain point. that point being 1/4 of a cup)
*a few radishes, sliced thin (which I skipped this time around)
2 Tbsp hoisin sauce

After the meat is marniated for at least 30 minutes, you put it in a wok with some vegetable oil until it's cooked through. Take it out of the wok, then mix all of the veggies (I start with the tougher ones for a minute before I add the softer ones) with the hoisin sauce and cook those for a few minutes. Add the meat back in, and let it all cook together for a few more minutes.

I serve this with Jasmine rice, and there's always enough for lunch the next day.

Baked Chicken

J and I have developed this really bad habit in the last seven months when we go to the grocery store. Sometimes I have a pretty detailed menu in hand, complete with a shopping list, but most of the time I have a menu in the broadest sense of the word, and we kind of piece it together as we shop. We know how unproductive this is, but we have persisted in doing it this way, anyway. Even when we have the detailed list, we either are derailed (damn you Trader Joe's and your delicious organic products), or we become super lazy as the week progresses, and end up eating out, leaving things like the vegetables or all of the bread to rot (damn you Trader Joe's and your highly perishable organic products), which is disappointing and not exactly encouraging, then it leads to less grocery buying, and thus more eating out. By the end of 2008, we were eating out quite a bit, and our fridge didn't smell very nice. There kept being "too much to do," though, and it just felt too overwhelming to fix it at the moment.

Jointly, we have decided to ditch this habit in 2009. Partly because I am so dead broke right now that I cannot afford to eat out more than once a week (we do breakfast with friends on Sundays, and even in this economy that's a non-negotiable for me), and partly because of my resolution to be more careful with what we bring into the house. Cooking for ourselves is a good way to ensure that even if we're not being 100% organic or green and healthy, at least we know what's going into our meals, and the waste that is associated. I said jointly and then I listed my reasons...but don't worry, J is jazzed, too.

So for the month of January, hopefully until this becomes habit, I will be documenting what we eat, if we stray from our goal, and maybe some notes on how delicious and easy a meal is, or how I will never put it near my mouth again.

Tonight we used some chicken that had been sitting in our freezer for a while, some couscous that had been sitting in our pantry for a long time, and some fresh green beans. We've been out of town for a while, so even though we took a trip to the supermarket today, our goal this week is to rid ourselves of the last of the 2008 perishables. We paired the meal with some of the Yuengling that we brought back from PA. We have a lot of Yuengling.

This meal was simple enough, very tasty, and I'd say it was fairly healthy, too (although portion sizes...? I didn't bother to check). We almost always buy organic chicken breasts - I don't like dark meat, and the Perdue thin sliced breasts cook up pretty easily - those were what I* cooked today. I basted about 1 lb of chicken breasts using a little less than one Tbsp. of butter, and then covered them with Progresso breading mix. I baked them at 400° for 12 minutes, covered, then flipped them over and baked for 8 minutes, uncovered (does it matter that I uncovered them? Probably not. I basically forgot to put the aluminum foil back on...).

I sauteéd the green beans, with a little bit of olive oil and some minced garlic, for about 6 minutes, although I think they could have used another minute or two - I kept reading warnings about how nasty overcooked green beans are, and don't do it, and I got nervous. I also got to use the new paring knife J's mom got us for Christmas, which was exciting.

The couscous came in a box.

My other secret desire is to take better food pictures. Today's was kind of a quickie (I forgot until just as J and I sat down to eat), but I'm going to try to be better about it in the future, at least for new recipes.



*While J is actively involved in the decision as to what we eat, I tend to do most of the cooking. This is because I abhor cleaning up. This doesn't mean my boyfriend doesn't cook, or can't cook. This also doesn't mean that he doesn't help. He chops, mixes, and grabs the wok from our tall shelf for me, sometimes. But mostly he does the dishes, which is why he is possibly my favorite person in the world.

Wrapping up 2008

Wrapping up 2007

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Underwent surgery (somewhere between minor and major surgery), worked a retail job, did not spend Christmas with my family, screen printed, moved in with my boyfriend.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From last year:

This year I just want to be happy. Happy and dehydrated.

I was definitely more happy this year. But I drank more water. Although I spent more time dehydrated than hydrated, so I'll call it a win.

This year, I want to build on my professional goals on a daily basis, probably in the form of a journal, but definitely in a measurable way. I want to find a job - not a crappy retail job (that I love, but Jesus is it hard), but a real, honest to goodness job. I want to be closer to my existing friends. I want to be more selective about the things I bring into the house, whether it's things I buy that I don't need, like clothes or shoes I will wear once, or things that we buy that may make our lives easier, but hurt the environment in the process. I also want to learn how to sew.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year, although we went to San Francisco, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, plus we hit up Brooklyn and Manhattan a few times.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Last year I said that I wanted a pair of sensible shoes. What with that job in retail, this became a necessity. The problem? One pair of sensible shoes will not go with every single one of my outfits. GAH. So maybe two pairs of sensible shoes?

I also would like to have a polished, finished, working website/portfolio.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
March 25th. Kind of. That was the date I had my surgery. Obviously I don't remember most of it, but the surrounding anticipation, relief, and pain will always be with me, beside the elation of having the surgery behind me.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Leaving a job that I truly hated, which had started eating away at my happiness like a cancer.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Getting fired from that same shitty job. I should never have let it reach the depths that it reached, in terms of my performance, my depression, and my anger at everyone around me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just more of the same.

Actually, the day I went to pick up the last of my things at the old office, the wheel of my folding shopping cart got stuck in the street outside the subway. It stopped dead in its tracks, but I kept moving, banging my leg (and getting the nastiest bruise I've ever had in the process), and falling ass over teakettle over the top of the cart, spilling my books, papers, everything. Serious insult to injury. Screw you, old job. It took six whole weeks for that bruise to finally go away!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my iMAC!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
J's, whose support and devotion have never wavered.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A few people at my old job. I know what part of it was my responsibility. The rest of it: Shame on you, you-probably-don't-know-who-you-are, because you're pure evil, and that kind of thing doesn't translate or compute in your brain, does it?

14. Where did most of your money go?
the iMac, rent, San Francisco, being unemployed, investments in tools to (hopefully) help my future career (iMac included, I guess).

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I was uber excited to move in with J this year. It was probably the best decision I made in 2008. I also got really excited about spending Christmas in PA with J and his family.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Time to Pretend by MGMT. Or After Hours by We Are Scientists.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
Happier, definitely. It keeps increasing noticeably year by year. Yes, the anti-depressants help, and so has the therapist, and losing the shitty job. All contributing factors in my overall level of contentment. But I'm finding things are just...easier.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I had ridden my bike more frequently. I wish that I had been more pro-active about learning design skills that would have helped me outside of architecture. I wish that I had cooked more often.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I could always use less time watching TV on the couch. Which is a good thing, since we're canceling cable.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With J's family in PA.

21. How will you be spending New Years?
In Pasadena for THE ROSEBOWL!!!

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I fall more in love with him every day.

23. How many one-night stands?
Fail.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
How I Met Your Mother, Battlestar Galactica, The Office, Futurama, Gossip Girl, It's Me or the Dog - also a resurgence of Gilmore Girls and What I Like About You once I lost my job.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope. I still hate her, btw, it's just less on the surface, now.

26. What was the best book you read?
I re-read the Time Traveler's Wife, and it was as good this time as it was the first time.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Spinto Band, even though I ironically haven't listened to much of their new album, and all of the stuff I like was from 2005.

28. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
A sewing machine, knives and a hand mixer for our kitchen, my life back. My jaw surgery.

29. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
A humidifier - but I'm going to rectify that with my Christmas cash money.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Well, this is obvious since we just watched it, but I think 3:10 to Yuma gets that honor, despite its coming out last year. (If we had not watched it on Christmas day for the first time, I would have said Dark Knight, because when we watched it in IMAX I think my heart stopped. Twice. But Christian Bale is Christian Bale, so whatever).

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 24 - we played pool and I only invited a few close friends, which is the best way to have a birthday.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A better relationship with my parents.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Many, many dresses, finally a haircut that fits my personality, awesome Prada glasses, and lots of cool necklaces.

34. What kept you sane?
Medication. And therapy. Again.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Christian Bale.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Women's rights, gay rights. The envir-o-ment.

37. Who did you miss?
I missed my family at Christmas, since it was the first year I didn't get to see them.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
One of my managers. I don't see her, ever, outside of work, but she's such a sweet person, and I aspire to be more like her one day. Or to understand why I'm not at all like her, but why people like me benefit the world, too, maybe. But mostly because I wish I were more like her.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
To stop rushing things and ride out the good feelings. Once you get there, there will be new feelings, some good, some bad - but stressing everyone out by pushing things tends to fuel more of the bad ones than the good ones. Oh, and STFU, already.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"Can’t help but feel attacked, what’s that supposed to mean
I know I won’t relax or act like it’s no big deal
This happens all the time; it’s kind of our routine
But we all recognize that I’m the problem here"
--WAS, Ghouls

Christmas Story

1. What’s your favorite holiday tradition.
Back at home, my favorite tradition was always sitting around the tree opening presents. It was sometimes really touching to see how thoughtful people could were be (hee. "could were."). Christmas cards are another tradition I love, although I probably don't ever get started on them early enough (I just mailed them out today! eek)
2. A favorite cookie recipe?
I love anything with coconut in the recipe - and sugar cookies are always a big hit, especially because of how flexible you can be with decorations. This year, J and I made white chocolate macadamia nut cookies. I should probably save some for him!
3. Share a story behind a special ornament on your tree.
Two years ago, I went out of town for work to Franklin & Marshall college just before the holidays. My co-worker and I were invited to the construction company's Christmas party, and our party gifts were blue and silver F&M holiday ornaments. I got a blue one, and it's a totally oddball ornament, because my ornaments are all hot pink. I love it all the more for that. I didn't get to travel much for work, so it was nice to have such a concrete reminder of what turned out to be a good trip.
4. All you want from Santa is….?
A job
5. What’s your favorite Christmas movie and why?
It’s a Wonderful Life - I used to watch it every year with my grandmother. I continue the tradition to this day, even though it's not the same without her. She was kind of in love with Jimmy Stewart (um, who isn't?).
6. Are you dong anything special for the holidays this year?
I'm going to join J in PA. I'm excited and nervous and really happy all at the same time.
7. What’s the best toy you ever got when you were a kid.
I'm pretty sure I got a bike one Christmas. I know I loved the bike, it was purple with white handlebars, and white tires - but I can't remember if it was a Christmas or birthday present. It was, however, a totally rad gift.
8. Why is Christmas special to you?
Aside from the stress of shopping, everyone seems so happy this time of year. Things are sparkly because of the lights, cold and crisp (hopefully with snow!), and there's so much hope for the upcoming year, anticipation of the presents and Christmas cards, and a lot of celebration that the year is coming to an end. It's so happy.

Guide to Good Customer Service

I've noticed that now that the holidays are nipping at our heels, people are coming into the store demanding better service. The problem is their inability to recognize that sometimes it's their own actions that are hampering their means to getting service with a smile. You want to see a smile on my face? Hows about you try not being an asshole, for a start. Here are some tips on how to make it until Christmas when you've got so much shopping left to do, and so many more assish store clerks to deal with:

The person on the other side of the counter is human, too. They've probably got a to-do list that's a mile long, just like you - it is the holiday season after all, which is why you're in the store all stressed out, looking for deals. However, instead of sitting in an office pretending to look busy while they shop or buy plane tickets on the Internet, the person helping you has to stand on their feet for 8 hours of the day, sans internet, often dealing with high-maintenance customers. Sure, they chose a job in retail, but do you think anyone joins a retail team because it's their dream job? Does that mean they deserve to be treated like crap, or that they're obviously unintelligent?

Next time, just try being nice. You don't have to put yourself in their shoes or anything, just maybe don't be a dick. Don't look at them like they have two heads when they ask for your phone number, zip code, whatever. It's not like they're going to get off their shift and ask you to go out for drinks - the computer won't let them through the system unless they ask. They don't give a crap that you don't want any more phone calls, that you're already in the system, or that you get too many catalogs. All you have to say is, "no thanks," and if you say it with a smile, you may get a high five or something, is all I'm saying.

Calm down. Sometimes the situation is exacerbated because your hysteria is fueling my hysteria. This goes back to the thing about my being human, too. I have emotions, and sometimes I can't control them, either. In my case, I have a super awesome manager who happens to be nice all of the time, but I also have a[n equally awesome] manager who mutters things about customers as they walk away. Like I said, just because we're in retail doesn't mean we're there to make your retail experience sunshine and puppies 100% of the time. And if you simply treat us like someone you might see again (and if you intend on going into a shop more than once, you probably will), maybe you'll be able to respect yourself when you walk out of the store. If you want to take a gander as to whose faces I'm more likely to remember, I'll give you two guesses, and I'll even give you a hint: it's not the people who are really nice to me, as much as I wish it were.

Yes, you do usually get what you want - after a while - and even then, only when we are actually physically able to do it, but at what cost? Maybe you're okay with people groaning when you walk into a store. I know I'm not, but then again maybe that's why you're an asshole to store clerks when I try really hard not to be.

It's not always about you. We didn't deliberately run out of a product because we knew you were coming into the store. Have to wait in line? So do the twelve people ahead of you. Maybe you feel it's deeply personal because you've only got seven shopping days until Christmas, but so does the rest of the community. Happy retailers are more likely to help you as much as they can - except, sometimes, when they encountered a severely pissy customer eight seconds before they were with you (and for those cases, I am truly, truly sorry). Sometimes we're brusque, or rushed, but it's not because you're annoying us at all - sometimes it's simply because someone just spent five minutes of her life screaming at us and berating us because she had fifteen minutes on her meter, and we can't give her the quarters she so desperately needs, because she's not currently in the middle of a cash transaction - she's in the middle of the store yelling at someone.

I'm not saying that being brusque or rushed is acceptable behavior on behalf of the clerk - the message is more along the lines of "don't potentially ruin it for everyone else by being a jerk."

Helpful suggestions...aren't always helpful. You think one of us should be bagging constantly while the other person rings you up? We should have a drawer with "just quarters" that the staff can access without a manager? We really should have a public restroom? Thanks. I mean, really. You're so much more clever than me (I'm a lowly store clerk. With a degree from MIT) and no one has ever said that to me before.

Grousing causes my eye to twitch, and I know my voice sounds flatter, and my smile is less sparkly with you grousers - even when I'm honestly trying to get through the day being nice to everyone, and manage to succeed, you've sucked a piece of my soul. I'm absolutely not saying you shouldn't voice your opinion, especially when it's a valid and thoughtful concern, I'm just saying that your complaint is one in a million of the same complaint - and eventually, yes, it can wear on a person. Congrats, you're the thousandth grousing customer. You get a cold, flat stare!

Complaining is futile, unless you honestly want to fill out a form, send an email, or call our corporate office. And sometimes your ideas are brilliant, and really could help the store - but is the store clerk, or even the manager, the person who can make that change? Never immediately, and usually no.

Also, one more quick thing, because it's come up far too often in the past three days: debit cards are debit cards - the computer, not the clerk, will read the card as a debit card, because it is a debit card and no force in the universe will change that - especially if DEBIT is written on your card in big black letters. However, if you want to use it as a "credit card," please ask - it's always an option if the debit card has a logo on it (mastercard or visa, for instance). And if you don't know the difference, you should feel embarrassed when you snap and gnarl at the clerk that "it's a credit card," because it's not, but I can press a tiny little button so that you can sign instead of entering your PIN¹ - it takes all of half a second, and it doesn't require rudeness to work. And there you were being a jerk because you think I'm an idiot for not reading your mind. And, really, who looks more stupid in this situation now that you know what you wouldn't allow me to explain to you at the register?

¹"When clerks ask this question, they are really asking you to pick one of two ways they can process your debit – a PIN (personal identification number) based transaction or as a signature-based transaction. One costs the merchant a little more and one takes a little longer to hit your checking account, but fundamentally a debit transaction is a debit transaction." -Debit or Credit? Here's The Answer
And on that note, this writer personally always uses the "credit" option when forking over her debit card. Here's why.

RIP Phinneas

Well, our fish is dead.

He got dropsy, and by the time he started showing symptoms (he'd stopped eating a week before that), the Internet diagnosed him as doomed. So we had this fish swimming around doing a pretty good impression of a pine cone, and now he's dead. There was nothing we could do, and unlike some of the other fish illnesses he could have contracted, dropsy is the one for which there is no one known cause, and for which there is no [relatively expensive for a $3 fish] cure.

Anyway, I never thought I'd miss a fish so much. We're going to finally get that shrimp, but in the meantime I think we're going to fill the tank with anonymous no name fish (to prep the tank for our shrimpy). No more getting attached. I'll be ready for another betta sometime, but not now.

How ridiculous am I? Yeah, I know - maybe it's time for a puppy.

It's because you are

I'm sorry, I don't understand. How exactly are you "wonderful" and "tolerant," if you can't tolerate homosexuality...I don't consider myself a tolerant person, but I do consider myself liberal, and I do think that anti-homosexual people are fucking ridiculous not-wonderful assholes...

...Oh wait, did I say that out loud? Was I supposed to be "tolerant" because I'm liberal? Did I just prove your asinine point?

Or about grammar.

Budgeting for Dummies Series: Thrive.com

The last piece of my budgeting puzzle was justthrive.com. Thrive tracks your spending, savings, and gives you a score (out of 10) based on how much money you are stashing away and how much you are spending based on your income level.

After you've been in their system for a short time, thrive will have advice for you whenever you log in. Whether it's "you're meeting all of your spending goals, keep at it!" or "You're overspending. Slow down!" thrive is like your honest best friend who keeps track of all of your money.

Thrive was how I found my high yield savings account, and occasionally they suggest I move my money around so that I can accumulate more interest. When I decided to get a new credit card, I used thrive in conjunction with mint.com to shop around and find the best interest rate and rewards program.¹

I highly recommend thrive.com, although it's system seems to update more slowly than either of the other websites I use for budgeting. I wouldn't use it alone, but your mileage may vary. It's very handy and very helpful in a refreshingly honest way (I was nearly offended once when the website told me to stop spending money, but then I realized that this was exactly why I needed budgeting software).

¹I only applied for a new credit card because my old credit card's APR was alarmingly high, even after I called and asked to have it lowered. I have an impeccable credit rating, though, so this is definitely something I do not in any way endorse, because it's not my place to recommend getting a new credit card to anyone I don't know. Any time you apply for new lines of credit, your score can drop, and it's up to you to determine whether a new line of credit is a good thing. While "freecreditreport.com" gets a lot of airplay, I've found that Credit Karma is a much better way to keep tabs on this information - and it's actually free. For more credit advice, there is plenty of information on the web, but you can start here for some tips.

Thrive has recently added a feature that predicts your credit score based on the information they have, but personally I've found that it highly underestimates my score for whatever reason.

Budgeting for Dummies Series: Mint.com

I have been using mint.com for nearly as long as I've been using Quicken online, since I joined mint about two weeks after I joined Quicken. Mint.com also has some pretty snazzy pie charts, and they have a very similar setup with the categorizing of transactions and budgets, although for me, the budgets on mint.com were more intuitive and easy to set up than the ones on Quicken.

The overview page allows you to set budgets by different categories and the bars will fill with color as you approach each limit, turning from green to yellow if you get too close, up until you hit the limit. It turns red if you go over your limit, and a little red number will pop up next to your budget, letting you know by exactly how much you went over.

Your accounts are listed in the left hand panel, and you can see transactions from each of them individually, or you can see all of them at once. The transactions tab allows you to categorize your expenditures and income, and all of this is very much like what I described in Quicken. Like Quicken, mint is also mostly intuitive, but some of the categories will need correcting at first. The only problem I've run into has to do with duplicate entries. I neglected to mention this last time, because Quicken is better about this than mint, but both systems have given me trouble with duplicates before. I assume this is because when I pay my credit card bills, it is seen as a debit from my savings account, but since my credit cards are also in the system, the actual purchase is also seen as a debit. Then the credit is only counted once, so I've had to hide some of my debits before - and I would recommend watching out for that, but it's pretty simple to catch.

The trends tab is where the fantastic pie chart lives. You can also analyze your expenses of each category by month in the bar chart at the bottom, and then compare your expenses to the averages in other cities in the U.S. If you click on a color of the pie chart, it will break it down further, and it lists the places you've spent money next to the pie chart, by frequency of your visits to each place. The sliding bar at the bottom lets you change the time frame from which the pie chart gathers its data, so you can see a few months at a time if you'd like.

But as I mentioned in my write-up about Quicken, the difference with mint.com is the next tab, where you can chart your retirement accounts. This can be a dangerous thing, maybe, especially in light of the recent economy...but on the other hand, it has been a blessing because of my recent employment status. I need to roll my former 401(K) into a traditional IRA, and mint.com has a lot of suggestions for doing just that.

The "Ways to Save" tab is the best part, so I've saved it for last. Since I started using mint.com, I have found a new credit card with better rewards (and 0%APR for a year, followed by the lowest APR I have ever seen after the year is up), and I have a new payment account that is accumulating a higher interest rate than my former one. Mint.com had all sorts of recommendations for me, and since I've moved on them, I've been happier with what my money is doing for me.

Budgeting for Dummies Series: Quicken Online

I've never been very good at saving money - as a concept I understand, but it's never been at the forefront of my decision making process. Immediately out of college, I wasn't spending that much, and easily saved that "three months' rent" that was so crucial, but that changed after I got my second job - there was more shopping downtown, so I spent more on clothes, books, music. There were people my age at that company so I spent more on lunch, drinks, coffee. I was dating someone and we were going out for dinner, drinks, movies. And then we moved in together, and suddenly I was allowed to decorate the Whole Apartment, wow! and suddenly saving for three month's rent was the last thing on my mind. Then I lost my job.

I was managing my money using Quicken online, because it was free, but then digg turned me onto a whole slew of websites, and while I highly recommend Quicken for its charts and management system, some of these other websites felt more like "money management for the everyday person," whereas Quicken obviously already has a reputation as a money management system, and can be as complicated as you want it to be. But since I've been doing this for a few months now, I decided it couldn't hurt to share what I've learned while I'm trying to find one or two of these sites and stick to them.

I still check in on Quicken from time to time, although it kind of started taking the backseat last month. Since I started with Quicken online, though, I figured I'd begin this mini-series by sharing my experience with Quicken online.


Adding my accounts to Quicken was no problem, but my local bank still has a difficult time synching itself with Quicken's system, which can be an issue since I use this account to pay for all of my paypal transactions, and all of my outside income is deposited into this account. It was also the main debit card I used until very recently, so having transactions from this account missing from Quicken was obviously a problem.

The thing I love about Quicken is the pie charts. They're colorful, wonderful and easily accessible. There is a sliding bar at the top of each page which allows you to choose a custom range of dates to analyze. On your home page, you'll find an overview of everything. The tiny pie chart updates immediately giving you a very easy to understand visual of your finances by the largest categories. Plus, there are gigantic colored bubbles at the top: [Money in] - [Money Out] = [Money Spent (So I overspent by...) or (So I saved by...)], which gives you an even more general visual to rely on.

Hop on over to the next tab, where you can view an interactive list of your transactions, which are automatically categorized by Quicken, although you can change them manually if you need to (I needed to do this quite a bit at the beginning, but Quicken is intuitive, and eventually catches on). Break it down even further by using the list on the left to select an individual account to view, or organize the list by category, or date, or payee to easily find a specific transaction, and change the "uncategorized" options so that you know where your money is going, specifically.

The next tab allows you to track your spending on a page with an Even Bigger Pie Chart, and this page bullet points your categories by color to break it down for you even further. You can click on the pie chart or the bullets to get a graph that shows your expenditures by month, how they're adding up, and how you're averaging out.

Finally, you can set budgets by category, and Quicken will let you know how much you have left in each of those budgets. These are set automatically by Quicken, but it's fully customizable so you can prioritize your expenses and figure what kind of spending you need to cut back on.

Quicken definitely had it all, which was helpful but at times felt overwhelming. However, it did not allow me to add my 401(K), and the categories were a bit broad - I didn't know where some of my expenses fell in when they were investments in my future, or when they were just plain old shopping. This is not Quicken's fault, though, and that's just one of the many things I'm trying to figure out broadly, in life, although a website could be a little more help to a girl.

Quicken's system updates very quickly on a day-to-day basis, so you won't be wondering where certain expenses are, because they'll be there if you use big institutions like Bank of America or Capital One. Smaller local banks may have problems - mine still does.

All in all, Quicken is a good deal, given that it's currently free. They may start charging again in the future, though, and that would definitely turn me off when there are so many great free options out there. Chelsea from Quicken commented to assure me that there are no plans to start charging for Quicken's online service, so you can be assured that this free service will remain free after you become addicted to monitoring your money. Next: mint.com.

Unemployment Insurance

I have been on hold with the Unemployment Insurance office for 39 minutes (as of now). The reason? Somehow when I signed up and claimed the severance from EYP, I was one week off, claiming two weeks' severance, when in reality my vacation payout counted as a third week of severance pay. After you lose your job, you are required to wait one week after your last paid week before you can start collecting Insurance. As a result of this incorrect reporting, I was paid a week early. This means that when I collected my first measly check three weeks after my last day at EYP, I was supposed to have waited one more week without an income. This all makes sense now, but I wish that someone had clued me in when I was filing my paperwork (where I was totally honest with $ amounts and was not trying to scam anyone, for the record).

I don't really know who to be more frustrated with, because this is all my fault in the end. Sure, the questions were "confusing," but maybe I could have asked. Although I was sure at the time that I was doing things correctly, I probably could have double and triple checked. I'm mad at myself, more than anyone.

But I'm also pissed at EYP. What kind of petty bullshit are they pulling over there that it has now been two weeks that I have had zero income because they can't deal with this crap in a timely manner. Hey, guys, as long as you're disputing claims over $300 whole miserable dollars, why don't you go ahead and do it asap - it must be nice not to give a shit about time lines since you're sitting all fat and sassy with your next paycheck on it's way this week, huh? That also goes for the Insurance office for not dealing with this in a timely fashion on my behalf.

If the money thing weren't such an issue, this would all be pretty awesome, no longer having to answer to a soulless corporate company, but they still have that hold over me, and that's about as frustrating as barely having enough to cover next month's rent and utilities right now.

Can't wait until this is completely behind me - and I can pretend never to have heard of EYP - "Isn't that the company that had the massive Gonorrhea outbreak? No? Then I've never heard of them." (47 minutes on hold)

I'm So Glad I Put On Pants

I locked myself out of the apartment yesterday.

I had gone out back to check for our recycling toters, and after giving the door handle an assuring jiggle, closed it and went outside. Apparently the door didn't understand "assuring jiggle," because it was locked when I came back to it. Don't ask me to explain the hows or whys. Maybe I jiggled the inside handle, which turns regardless of whether it's locked or not. Maybe I didn't turn the lock 90 degrees and it was jostled when I closed the door, locking me out from the inside.

Regardless, I was so happy that I had put pants on to go outside. And shoes. I so rarely get dressed to peep out onto the backyard.

Other things I could have taken outside: keys, a cell phone, my wallet.

I walked down to MIT, because what other choice did I have? I could have hung out in our laundry area until J came home six hours later. Or the backyard. Those were my choices, and it was cold. Once I went outside the apartment building, I was out, so I had to make the decision quickly. Was there anywhere I could go without money or ID? Not really. So I walked down to MIT, hoping to find J in his lab before his class started, knowing it could be a shot in the dark. At least he wasn't out in Lexington!

I met J's office mate, who told me a story about the time his wife was locked out of their apartment and he found her curled up, asleep, on their landing. I was again reminded of how very glad I was that I had put on pants.

I played spider solitaire on J's computer.

Then, I got lucky. He came back to his desk before his class started. I got the keys and came home. Will this make me more careful in the future? Probably not. I swear I checked that door before I went outside. Which is why I'm never leaving the apartment again. Without pants.

Thanks For the Personal Growth, Though, Assholes.

Every time I see the title on my previous entry, I read "Will Knit for Tacos." Upon further reflection, I have decided that I will also knit for tacos, because I have finally reached the end of my severance funded vacation. This means that next week, I start receiving unemployment benefits. Ouch. Talk about a pay cut.

So the other day, J brought home Bud Light Lime. The king of...lime flavored beers. "It was on sale," he said. "I'm a grad student, and you're not working right now. Tonight we're going to drink like it."

It tasted faintly of limeade, it didn't really taste like...what's the word? Beer. If you visit their website, though, by clicking on the image to the left, you can download a free remix of Santogold's Lights Out. Redemption factor: 3/10.

The time off part isn't so bad, really. I set my own schedule, and as long as I don't wake up in the middle of the night, in a panic thinking about health insurance or the fate of my [former] 401k, I can actually start my day at a reasonable hour and get work done. Last night was, unfortunately, a wake up in a panic night. I bolted out of bed to make a To Do list just to stop my heart from pounding so loudly in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about my health insurance and the library book I had to pick up and how the fuck we were going to pay for rent and utilities and still not have to supplement our diet of ramen noodles by dumpster diving (is it at all that bad? No, of course not. Try telling me that at three in the morning). I felt like a rock was sitting on my chest.

I'm going to level with you, though. The stress of my current situation still hasn't rivaled the stress of working for an understaffed corporate nonentity that is in desperate need of management training. I don't work well under those parameters, and I might point out that my panic attacks started with that job and didn't simmer down until after the side effects of my anti-depressants went away. I may have been comfortable with the steady income, but having my happiness compromised on a daily basis was wearing pretty thin by the end. Sundays were unbearable because of the dread I felt - upon waking up in the morning - that tomorrow was, ugh, Monday.

I need to find something I enjoy doing that pays a teeny bit more than the unemployment insurance - with medical benefits. That shouldn't be so hard. And in the meantime - in the daylight, at least - I am enjoying the time off to the fullest of my ability. Who needs a job when they've got daytime TV?

[Currently Spinning: Yeah Yeah Yeahs]

Will Knit for Tattoos

I lost my job last monday. I'm not going to beat around the bush here: I am so effing happy about it. I was not happy doing what I was doing, and I needed a change so badly. It wasn't a matter of whether or not I was going to walk into my manager's office and quit, it was a matter of when. Yes, they made that decision a little bit easier for me by letting me go, thereby making my *life* a little bit more difficult (maybe?), but I haven't been this excited about anything since I got into MIT.

I've started developing my own website, where I plan on hosting my portfolio, and maybe eventually my blog. I've started to spray paint our dining room chairs, which were in serious need of an overhaul. And most importantly, I've gained a lot of perspective. I don't know what I want to do with my life, but that's okay. I have a general direction, now.

Five Hours and Fourty Seven Minutes

The other day I wanted cream in my coffee, but the kitchen on my side of the office was out of cream. Because there was only one carton left in the other kitchen, I filled a small cup with creamer and brought that to the kitchen with me, instead. Imagine my surprise later in the day when I came to check on the cup, and MORE CREAMER was in it. I could have exploded with happiness. I wanted to cover the person who did that with kisses. It's not often someone does something so small that actually restores my faith in humanity.

So imagine how dark a cloud spread when, no less than an hour later, I went to the kitchen and couldn't find the cup. When I threw away my sugar packets, I saw it sitting at the bottom of the trash can - STILL HALF FULL OF CREAMER.

If it had been empty, fine. BUT IT WASN'T. I am having trouble concentrating on anything other than counting the minutes until five.

Gold Star

I parallel parked for the first time, ever today. Yes, I realize that at 24.5 years old this is a ridiculous statement.

I have to say, I did a damn fine job. It only took me one try, and I was thisclose to the curb. Time to go celebrate!

An Educated Fish

Allow me to introduce you to our new roommate, Phineas H. Bubblesworth, Esq. You can call him Phinny.

Phinny likes eating bloodworms, hiding in his cave, and resting in his plant. Also, sunsets and long walks on the beach.

J and I are already the world's most sickening fish parents. We really need a puppy.

Kodak Duaflex - Through the Viewfinder

I am obviously way in love with my Kodak Duaflex, so much so that it's not enough to just use the camera, but I have to take pictures of it and screen print it onto a canvas, too:

Inspired by Sean Tubridy

But how can I not? I am really loving these:

Taco Flavored Fishes

I believe that I am getting a fish this weekend. I haven't done ridiculous amounts of research about this, but I've done enough to decide that we will be getting an Anabantid or Gourami of some sort. Anabantids and Gouramis, or "Labyrinth fish" have a labyrinth organ, which a) allows them to live in water with less oxygen support than other fish, and b) Labyrinth is a movie featuring David Bowie.

They are hardy fish, and while most of them are somewhat aggressive and are not community fish, we are going to be an only fish couple for a while, anyway. If we want to introduce small freshwater schools, we will be able to do that if and when we upgrade our tank.

I won't be able to come home and cuddle with my fish, but we know we won't be getting a puppy for a while, and this seemed like a fair compromise. I hope to be working less hours, preferably from home, when we do get a dog (I say puppy all the time, but most greyhounds come into your heart and home as adults). We already have a name picked out, and a title. Now we just need to find the right fishy for our home.

It's Because My Job is Making me Crazy with Last Minute Deadlines

Last night I had a dream that J and I were getting married.

The whole thing was completely disorganized and had been slapped together at the last minute. I remember that I kept saying to myself, "SHIT, if only I had had more time! I would have thought of this!" (This being any number of things from the dinner to the location to the invitations, and if I remember correctly, we'd been engaged for a while...or were embarrassingly stupid enough to think we could plan a wedding in a day?) I think the worst part was the invitations, which ended up being printed the day of, and even though the wedding was happening that evening, we were still using a laser printer at home so that "at least people would have something to remember it by." (Who? Since no one was invited...I don't know who was coming...)

My dress was something hideous that was borrowed at the last minute, and the ceremony+reception were being held in the basement of an old used bookstore (any poetic notions about that were blasted when I saw the cast iron spiral staircase with slap-shod blue carpeting that led down to the basement, which was equally dingy, leaky, and poorly lit).

The whole thing was a nightmare, but through everything, I just wanted to get it over with because the important part was that J and I were together - I didn't care about the wedding.

I woke up and went to therapy. Not only did I not get what I needed out of my session, but instead of deciding that my suggestion of once every other week was fine, we figured that in reality, I probably should ramp it up to twice a week (as if. Hello - I need to have a life, too. I can't just spend my life being in therapy and working my shitty day job, then recovering from therapy and my shitty day job every day). I left feeling like I kind of wished that I could go no times a week, hating that my therapist knows things about me that even I don't want to know about me. Yes, that is the point, thanks. I left kind of wanting to smack some hypothetical someone in the teeth.

I'm unreasonably angry with myself about being myself, and I'm also kind of pissed that I have to be at work non-stop for the next two days. This is why Wednesday is going to be a beach day. Unless it rains, in which case it will be screen print some arts for my walls day. Either way, by then I hope to no longer be hating myself.

For My Fellow Bike Commuters

Dear Cyclist-Who-Thought-He-Almost-Got-Hit-By-A-Car-This-Morning:

That car had its turn signal on long before you approached the light, and the light turned green just as you approached his blind-spot. I know, I know - you were in the bike lane, which naturally means that all those mean-old cars have got to stop for you, even when you're not biking defensively* or paying attention to anything, which is why you yelled at him, I presume. God - that motorist was such an asshole. Except...wait...he didn't even honk at you!
*(See Collision Type #3)

I noticed that you had the decency to seem embarrassed when I yelled that you should pay attention, and that the guy had his turn signal on. I probably shouldn't have called you an idiot, though.


Dear People Who Got Tickets After Running The Red Light on Hampshire and Broadway:

I'm sorry. I totally empathize, because it's happened to me before, and half of you did check for cars, although you managed to somehow miss the bike cops (who were positioned in the middle of the bike lane)...but who am I to judge.

I do not, however, empathize with the guy who got exasperated with me for waiting at the red light and ran it even after I said, maybe with not enough conviction, that there were cops ahead. You, sir, definitely deserved that ticket. Perhaps, though, it was a little mean-spirited for me to shout "HAVE FUN WITH THAT" just before the cop held his hand up in your face and pulled you over.

But three cheers to the Cambridge Bike Cops. Thanks for finally starting to do your jobs (for the most part...well...it's a start).

I was reading stories about the bicyclist who was struck and killed by a trash truck in D.C. on Tuesday, and while wading through all the comments on the WP story about drivers vs. "asshole bicyclists", I saw this:

No, the stories about bikers who choose to run red lights aren’t irrelevant. Someone has placed a bike spray painted white at the intersection of Connecticut and R as a memorial to Ms. Swanson. This morning, as I sat in my car on R St. at a red light during rush hour, I watched as a young woman pulled up right next to the white bike. She appeared to be in her twenties, and was wearing a helmet. Having seen the aftermath of yesterday’s tragedy, I wondered if she knew what had happened just 24 hours earlier, at that very spot. Just as I pondered that thought, she glanced quickly in both directions, then rode across all six lanes of Connecticut, rather than wait the extra 30 seconds for the light. Yesterday’s horrible accident may have been entirely the truck driver’s fault, but bikers and drivers alike can do much to improve safety on our streets.

Let me tell you, lady, I will bet you money that this girl was perfectly aware of what had just happened in that intersection, was probably scared shitless to be on her bike at that moment, and used the "extra 30 seconds" to put herself ahead of traffic - which is actually a smart way to ensure you won't be wedged in by the cars waiting at the light with you - provided, of course, you check that all six lanes (omg, so many lanes) of traffic are clear before you go. I get a kick out of the philosophical pondering regarding this girl's safety, when the cyclist likely did make the decision, not out of haste to reach her destination, but out of a desire to not get taken over by a car.

I've gotten a citation for running a red light on my bike before. I admit, fully and freely, that I deserved it, but where are these damn cops when cars are parked in the bike lane? When people are riding their bikes on the sidewalks? Where's the city funding for cops who actually do their jobs? Since that citation, would I run a red light again? You betcha. Especially with the frequency that people use their turn signals out here. It's just safer, sometimes. It's sad that it takes stories like this to make me sit back and think about how recklessly I ride, but with every one I read I try to take a little bit of knowledge away, and hopefully will be more conscientious (and alive) for it.

By the way, the nicest thing a cop has ever done for me in my life, ever, was force a car to remove itself from the bike lane when he saw me coming up the road - I seriously wanted to make out with him for that.

P.S. - the "white bike" she was referring to was a ghost bike.

Seems like a fair price to me!

How much would you pay for the luxury to not give a crap about something?

Yesterday, at work, we were given the numbers for the bonuses we will be getting at the end of the week. We recently switched to a Performance Based Compensation plan that involves all kinds of ratings and algorithms and numbers. It's kind of cool, actually, since I tend to prefer numbers (because I went to MIT or why I went to MIT...the eternal question).

Yesterday, one of my coworkers came over and asked (aggressively? Am I projecting?) whether they had messed up one of my numbers, because they seemed to have messed with hers. In the previous round of bonuses, they had screwed up some input or another and instead of fixing it then, they promised it would be fixed in the future.

She stood over my shoulder and watched as I opened my spreadsheet (I had not checked it before she came over - the reality is that I forgot that this spreadsheet is downloaded as a one page PDF, and our bonuses are right there in a bright yellow box, which the eye is immediately drawn to on our great big 19" monitors). She saw my bonus, then pulled a printed copy of her own out of her pocket, opened it a sliver, and said, "Nope, they didn't screw yours up, just mine," and walked away.

Fortunately, paper is not opaque when it's lit from behind, or I wouldn't know that she made a whopping $300 more than me - the cost of not passing the LEED exam. She did not get paid more than me based on merit, or because she's more awesome or pretty or better than me in any other way than she studied her ass off, gave up her life for a while, and passed an exam. We've already been through how I felt about not passing, and how I spent all of seven hours studying, and I knew that my bonus would be the consequence. Were she actually a friend, she would have at the very least looked away when I opened that file, but because she doesn't care about other people, it's completely beyond her comprehension not to be an asshole (otherwise in an ideal world, she would have shown me hers, too, because I honestly don't mind sharing these things with friends (I should have seen the whole thing coming, since it was barreling at me like an freight train)). I've known this about her for a while; It's not her fault I'm so damn gullible.

So, against my will, I started justifying the whole thing in my head last night; not because I need anything to change, but because I needed to feel better about the fact that she is a jerk. I know for a fact that when I started, I was paid more than another one of our co-workers, presumably because I graduated from MIT and, even though it is from an accredited university and they have worked here for three years (one year longer than me), their degree is from a less prestigious school. More people may have heard of her school, but it's still not MIT - and she has one year less work experience. I wouldn't normally think about these things so much, because I'm perfectly content with what I make relative to the market these days, but she annoyed me yesterday, and so I started rationalizing that she should go ahead and be happy with that $300, because I'm 89% certain it's absorbed into my slightly higher paycheck. Plus, I can always pass the exam at the end of the summer, if I decide I want to waste two weeks of my free time. I know she only feels she has to make other people feel badly about themselves so she can soothe her non-existent self esteem. Knowing that doesn't make me want to punch her any less.

So. I suppose that $300 is the cost of not giving a shit around these parts. Reasonable?

Weekend Bike Fun

On Sunday, Aaron, J and I took the commuter rail out to Ipswich for some fried clams. I did not have fried clams, but I did try one, threw up in my mouth a little bit, and remembered why I generally stay away from seafood. We went to Woodman's in Essex, and I would go there again in a heartbeat for some more of those onion rings. Mmmm.



After eating our own weight in fried food, we zipped off to catch the 7:51 pm commuter rail back to Boston. Unfortunately, J blew a tire on the way, and had to stop to change it. Aaron rode back to help him after riding the rest of the way to the station with me, where I waited.



A half hour and the train went by and there was still no sign of the boys. I was reminded of how awful life was back in the '90s - when people had no cell phones.

That's right - on a highway bike ride out in the middle of Rural Anywhere, MA, I forgot my cell phone. All I could imagine was that one of them had been overtaken by a drunk or negligent driver, and the other was frantically calling my cell phone while they waited for the paramedics to arrive, blood everywhere. It became so unbearable that after about 40 minutes of waiting for what, in perfect circumstances, might have been a 20 minute tire change, I borrowed a local teenager's cell phone. Fortunately, no one had been run over or doored, but Aaron's tire had also gone flat. There was blood, but it was from mosquitoes and not from a mangled car accident.

Silly me.

We ended up watching the Celtics game at a bar while we waited for the 10:20 pm commuter rail, and polished off a bottle of wine in the process. While I wouldn't have actively chosen to be out as late as we were, and blown tires are never fun, it was actually a successful bike ride - and we will be taking the commuter rail out of the city more often.

The Other Boleyn Girl (i.e. the Stupid American Version of the Story)

This weekend J and I watched The Other Boleyn Girl. To get the awful taste out of our mouths, we also finally watched Gone Baby Gone. I recommend Gone Baby Gone if, like us, you are the last people on earth not to have seen it. But right now I have to gripe about the Other Boleyn Girl.

As someone obsessed very interested in Tudor England, I have read enough on the subject to know the basic plot-line. Especially regarding Henry VIII and his various wives. Yes, a lot of my "research" has been in the form of historical fiction, but I promise that I do my share of non-fiction reading as well.

The only [moderately] appropriately cast character was Scarlett Johansson. Natalie Portman is no Anne Boleyn, and the only thing Eric Bana has going for him as Henry VIII is his girth (comparing him to Jonathan Rhys Meyers, anyway). And going into it, I figured I would be bothered by the casting, but it turned out that the casting was the least of my concerns.

However, in the interest of time, I need to get off my chest the one thing that bothered me enough to warrant a blog post and ban further discussion of this crap in my house. I am referring to the scene where the Boleyn/Howard group is sitting down at the table, and someone mentions, in abject horror how their plot would mean that the king would break from the church. Oh My God! Break from the church?! Insert horrified face, here.

Jesus Christ. That's the whole POINT, isn't it? One of the political benefits of having a Boleyn on the throne was to reform the church, and they're not even portrayed as Reformists? Anne herself is known to have shared Reformist literature with the king. It's a good thing we don't have bricks in the house, because that's when one would have hit the TV.

The book took a lot of liberties that, while entertaining, were at least plausible - this movie didn't even attempt to pretend to know anything about anything - and what's more, they didn't even show any boobies, which is the only way I could convince J to watch this movie with me; we figured with Johansson and Portman, there'd be at least one far-fetched, stupidly inaccurate lesbian scene. I mean, I'm angry. We're talking exponentially worse than Everything is Illuminated, which at the very least stands on its own as a movie, and has a stellar cast.

Also, if I see another brown haired, dark eyed Spanish "beauty" playing Queen Katherine...I will be writing an angry letter to someone.

In other words, things are going well

Last night, J got me an air conditioner. He may as well have given me a ring.

This morning, I told him that I was thinking about getting table runners for the kitchen table instead of place mats. He looked at me and said, "okay."

Yes, there has been a period of adjustment, and yes, there have been a few incidents over some things like closet space and beds and my pile of clothes...but how can I not be totally head over heels for this guy?

We're slowly making it a home.

Photo a Day Challenge

This sounds like an incredible motivational tool to start using my fantastic Rebel XTi more often.

I am frequently frustrated with the quality of my photos, but it's almost as though I know exactly what I could have been doing right...only I didn't. The only way to improve is to take more photos, and I keep *almost* being "the person with the camera," but I'm not quite there yet (I am known as "the Polaroid girl," but that's another story).

There are a bunch of great shots I want around my new neighborhood, so I think I'm going to start there. It's J's "old" neighborhood, and I already have a few picked out from all those times I walked to his place. I think this is going to require a bit more thought, though.