Isn't some scary stranger the reason you're in this predicament?

These People on this I Survived... show are awfully whiny. I wouldn't let you in my house, either if you were stabbed, shot, bleeding profusely and screaming your head off at me. Call the cops? Sure. Let you in my house? WTF. No.

Work Shoes

I have been on a quest for a second pair of black shoes to wear to work, lately, mostly because I'm actually beginning to have really unsexy problems with my feet (ever had to treat a corn with salicylic acid? It burns through layers of your skin. Literally. That's how it fixes your corns. Gross). I have a pair of rocket dog ballet flats that has gotten me through a few slow shifts when I know I can't possibly wear my sneakers one more day in a row, but I need a pair of sturdy, durable shoes that I can trade out with my payless sneakers, which are the main pair of shoes I have been using for work these days.

I don't know if this is as big of a problem for the girls I work with; if they're just younger than me and don't care, or if I have destroyed my feet with years of wearing uncomfortable and terrible shoes. These girls do generally appear to wear comfortable shoes, but they manage to find cute ones, too, and that just throws me into a spiral of frustration. Why is it so hard to find cute+comfortable? Why must I sacrifice one for the other?

So, in my quest on zappos this weekend, I have narrowed it down to three pairs of shoes:

1. The obvious choice, since it's basically what I'm rocking now, but they won't fall apart as quickly: Sketchers Work Compulsions. $60.00

They're pretty cute, they should be comfortable because they're sneakers, and they're basic, standard black shoes. They're even specifically made for people like me who wait tables or work on our feet all day. The grippy soles are also key.

Pros: grippy soles, comfortable, highly recommended by other servers, reasonably priced.
Cons: they are sneakers. bleh.

2. My second choice is a little bit less conventional: Patagonia Sugar and Spice. $120.00

The reviews here are also pretty good, but they're less pointed, in that, yeah, 4 out of 5 reviews claim they're super comfy and great shoes for walking around all day (one reviewer bought them for a walking trip to India), but no one has specifically bought these shoes as a server and reviewed them as a server. One review is terrible, but I don't know if it's an anomaly, or someone who bought the shoes for the wrong purpose (to wait tables, perhaps?)

Pros: so cute, look comfortable, soles look like serious business
Cons: reviews are spotty (I'd have to test for myself), EXPENSIVE.

3. J said he would leave me, but I'm going to go here: crocs. $29.95

Yeah, I said it. Crocs. Another server I work with has these shoes, and I always thought they were cute, and she affirmed: they are comfortable as hell. You can hose them down (or stick 'em in the dishwasher?), you can wear them with socks, and you can stand around in them all day. Also, the price point? Check. The only thing I can see as being a problem is that one of the reviews seems to imply that because they're rubber, everything sticks to them. Since I walk to and from work, I can see this creating problems, either by my needing two pairs of shoes, which is annoying, or by having messed up crocs. The server I work with doesn't wear these once she leaves the restaurant, and this might be why.

Pros: Comfortable based on many reviews. Highly washable. I've seen them personally, and they're pretty cute. They are cheap, comparatively.
Cons: I've heard it takes time to get used to walking in them, and I'm pretty clumsy. Rubber attracts all kinds of dirt and things. They're rubber, so they won't breathe, and will therefore perpetuate the problem I'm currently trying to combat: sweat. They're crocs.

Anyone have any opinions/expertise in this area? I'm going to follow up when I've made my choice (although writing it all down has steered me away from the patagonias which I'll admit was my goal because they're so expensive and I love the look of them).

Bowie is the Coolest

{P is for Phillip}

Things I Love Thursdays

This video about green screens that J showed me at the beginning of the week:

Birthday Cupcakes

I have crossed one off my list of things to do before I turn 27! I made some rainbow cupcakes for a very special occasion:


I think they were very much appreciated:

I Wish I Was That Coffee

When we were watching 30 Rock, I didn't get the joke; I mean god. He wasn't that attractive. I complained about it a few times, because I just couldn't see it. Then we started watching Mad Men. And that's the story about how I want to bang Don Draper—even when he is Jon Hamm.

For further Jon Hamm-ness and your entertainment, here's a great SNL sketch wherein Jon Hamm plays the ever so dreamy Scott Brown. It's four minutes long, but it's worth it if you also wish to bang Jon Hamm (but not Scott Brown...no way) (there are obvious sexual overtones in this video—much like in the entry I just posted—so...enjoy that):

Things I Love Thursday

Fun earrings . This seller was featured in the "etsy finds" newsletter, and I love these earrings! They're so colorful and fun. I resisted the urge to add them to my cart, but I thought I'd still give a shout out, because they are darling, and those crane earrings would be the perfect accessory for a cute Valentine's Day outfit.

My sister . who was here this week and a little bit of last week, before she goes to Portugal. This photo is woefully out of focus, but I still love it.

Poor Little Rich Girl . who now have a location near Inman/Kendall Square. It's where I got the earrings I am wearing in the above photo, and where I got a vintage Cars album on vinyl. She also said she'd email me whenever she gets any Bowie on vinyl. =My New Favorite Store, Ever.

Depends. Is It Bacon?

If you're in the food service industry the bigger question is: You dropped it on the floor. Do you SERVE it?

Things I Love Thursday

My New Health care Plan

Under my old health insurance, I was limited to 24 visits to my therapist per year. As a result, I either saw him less or paid more for extra visits. Each visit cost me a $30 copay, unless it wasn't covered by my insurance, in which case, he gave me a heavily discounted rate that I could afford. Last year, I spent $920 on therapy alone.

My new health insurance gives me unlimited visits. If I went once a week, which would be ideal, I would pay a $10 copay per visit. That's $520 per year! That's a $400 discount! And if that weren't reason enough to love my new health insurance, my prescription copay is lower, too.

My New Job

I recently became a server at a certain Irish Pub in Kendall Square. If you're around Cambridge at lunch time in the next week, you should come by! I like the people I work with, I like the atmosphere, and I forgot how much fun waiting tables could be. Relative to retail, it is the best job I've ever had! The pay isn't always going to be great, and I can't lose sight of bigger goals, but for now I'm really happy.

Bonzai!

Nah, I don't know this puppy, but if you click on his picture, you can see his profile on Puppy of the Day! I just thought he was too cute to resist sharing.

26 Things To Do Before My 27th Birthday

{Old Greyhound by Daniel Greene}

Here's a scary thought. I turned 26 today. Twenty-six. Somehow, it feels different from 25. I was a little nervous, but mostly excited about 25, but 26 seems so much...more. I'm excited, but I'm starting to feel a little bit older. I'm starting to slow down in some ways, ramp up in others. That being said, I thought it was time to make a new list! Here are 26 things I hope to do before my 27th birthday:

1. Make a Quilt
2. Procure some David Bowie on vinyl in February 2011...shortly after age 27
3. Take dance classes
4. Take some yoga classes
   in 2011...I finally got off my butt and did this
5. Find a new apartment
6. Bake rainbow cupcakes
   For J's 28th birthday! Which is...oh, one month after I turned 27. Whoops.
7. Sew a dress
8. Apply to grad school
9. Make fortune cookies
10. Make a scrapbook
11. Brand myself
12. Plant some lavender
13. Design some jewelry
14. Go to waterfire
15. Start photographing stunning fashion moments
16. Visit the JFK museum
17. Travel
18. Finish the frost flowers shawl
19. Finish my first project 365
20. Use some of the polaroid film in my freezer
21. Make 100 paper cranes
22. Make a 2010 portfolio
23. Make garlands
24. Hang twinkle lights in the apartment
25. Do a project involving polaroids+letters
26. Go out on a rowboat

Daily Mind Asplode

(1)(2)

{from http://backgroundchecks.corragroup.com/}

Dear Corra Group:

It is "Peace of Mind," not "Piece of Mind." I'm sure your goal is to come across as professionals, not make me snort coffee out of my nose. After you double check your grammar, we can discuss the use of Papyrus on your "book covers."

Speaking of grammar, I'm just wondering why *your* is italicized in that second image when *heart* should be italicized (better yet, trust your customer! Don't italicize either!).

I'm sure you saved a ton of money by outsourcing your design work to India, but maybe you should have had a native English speaker look over your work...

P.S.
If
you need some logo re-work, feel free to contact me.

Twitter Font Cloud

twitter font cloud made of all the words I use most frequently on twitter. Note: seriously. lol. apparently. I need to use less filler words, perchance?

A Very Gocco Christmas

Apologies to anyone who didn't get a Christmas card this year, but the holidays were hectic, and my rolodex was woefully out of date. So even though this is a little bit late, I wanted to share a little bit of holiday cheer.

NYE

Wrapping up 2009

Wrapping up 2008

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

• Played craps (I won over $150 in New Mexico this summer, but came up a little short in Vegas—still, it was tons of fun)
• Went to Vegas for Thanksgiving (or Franksgiving, as they apparently call it..."they" being J's friends, not Vegas).
• Used a sewing machine.
• Changed my diet, stuck to it, lost some weight and felt better about myself. Yes, that all fell apart sometime this winter, but I did it once and I can do it again.
• Got my braces taken off!!!! Now I know what all my high school friends were talking about. It was the BEST feeling.
• Brought J home with me! We had a great time in El Paso—it's always so much fun seeing the city through the eyes of someone you love. Plus, I'm sure visiting my childhood home explained a lot to J...

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From last year:

This year, I want to build on my professional goals on a daily basis, probably in the form of a journal, but definitely in a measurable way. I want to find a job - not a crappy retail job (that I love, but Jesus is it hard), but a real, honest to goodness job. I want to be closer to my existing friends. I want to be more selective about the things I bring into the house, whether it's things I buy that I don't need, like clothes or shoes I will wear once, or things that we buy that may make our lives easier, but hurt the environment in the process. I also want to learn how to sew.

• I definitely built on my professional goals this year. On a daily basis? Maybe not, but I'm in a far better position than I was last December.
• I did not find a full-time job this year, and I did fall back on a retail job for the holidays, but I also found some freelance work that was far more valuable than some job I might have taken just for the health benefits.
• I think Jessica and I spend a fair amount of time together, but I need to be better about keeping in touch with friends who don't live five blocks away.
• We definitely cut down on the amount of stuff we brought into the house, and we still recycle, but our recycling loads have gotten smaller (or equally sized but less frequent). I'd say we did a good job, although I still have a clothes and shoes addiction.
• I did learn how to sew rectangular things. I now need to learn how to sew other things.

This year? Well, this year I'd like to

• Cut HFCS from our diet, or severely restrict it. I guess limit processed foods in general.
• Fix my little anxiety/fear of bicycle death thing.
• Resume cooking meals at home more often
• Eat healthier foods, and by exercising more, possibly look smoking hot when I'm naked?

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Our friends Jordan and Carolyn had a baby boy in November. Our friends Sarah and Matt also had their baby yesterday, December 30th!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
None, again. Our travel this year was limited to the States again, mostly due to wedding season. We went to Washington/Idaho/Montana, Minnesota, Vegas, and El Paso/Albuquerque. J also went to San Diego and PA.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Good health insurance that doesn't cost $500/month (my crappy health insurance costs $500/month). I'm getting my wish, though, since J and I just finished the paperwork for me to be included on his health insurance. Yay, domestic partnership.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
The day my braces were removed!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Designing a website for someone else.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to get a client to pay up, and (D'OH!) putting all of the files on her hosting site, where she changed the password and stopped emailing me. Worst $600 lesson, EVAR.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I think I had the swine flu, for real. I was never tested for it, but I was OUT for two weeks and then had a sore throat for about a month after that. I think I caught it on the plane out to Montana. That was when I actually couldn't open a bottle of Ibuprofen because every muscle in my body hurt and was exhausted. If I had had enough energy, I would have LOL'd, but I mostly just whimpered a laugh, then went to sleep for 12 hours after J opened it for me.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I bought some black skinny pants that are the BEST, and I doubt I could live without my rotary cutter and giant cutting mat.

However, hands down the most fun thing I got was this bag. It is so cute, but the fact that I can carry my DSLR around with me, everywhere and look like I'm carrying a cute handbag and not a bulky camera bag? Awesome.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

• J's, whose support and devotion have never wavered.
• Sarah and Carolyn and Lesley for carrying babies inside of them for nine months!
• Laura and Steve for getting engaged, proving our theory about who would be next, and giving team awesome yet another opportunity to be together again when they do get married.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Our upstairs neighbors for being douchebags and walking around in their boots all day because "their feet are cold." You know what else keeps your feet warm? Slippers. Rugs. Go F yourselves.

United Airlines. Because, seriously?

14. Where did most of your money go?
rent, tuition, health insurance.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing Bishop Allen live at the Middle East.

Missing the chance to meet John Hamm in person. IN PERSON. GAH.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Passion Pit's Sleepyhead.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder?
I am definitely about the same. I am overall happier than I have been in the past, but I also am suffering from anxiety attacks and this weird fear of death and bridges that comes and goes at the worst times. This obviously does not make me happy, but I also no longer suffer from depression the way I used to. Yey, modern medicine!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish that I had cooked more often. I wish that I had completed more of my around-the-house projects. I wish I had punched the upstairs neighbor in the face. I mean, talked to her more nicely.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinating, in general.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
In El Paso, showing J around town!

21. How will you be spending New Years?
With our friends at Jessica's apartment, playing Scrabble, because I am seriously obsessed.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yes, I still find new ways and reasons to love J more and more every year.

23. How many one-night stands?
Fail.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Mad Men, Parks and Recreation, Flight of the Conchords, 30 Rock.

25. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.

26. What was the best book you read?
I read a whole bunch of Tudor literature this year, both fiction and non-fiction. The best book, by far, was The Sisters Who Would Be Queen by Leanda de Lisle. Not only did it seem to be the most factually accurate book I've read so far, but it focused on some oft-forgotten characters in the battle for the throne after Henry VIII's death. If you're into this sort of thing, I highly recommend it.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Either Fanfarlo or the Harlem Shakes. Both albums are fantastic. I would say Phoenix, but basically Mercedes commercials ruined that for me. However, the rest of that album is also really good.

28. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
An "A" in my Foundations of Graphic Design class.

An electric blanket! My feet have never been so warm!
A deluxe edition of Scrabble with the rotating board and everything—it is so awesome.

29. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
Basically everything on my Amazon wishlist. I always forget to show that to people before the holidays. Dang.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
By and far, Away We Go was the best movie I've seen in a long time, and not just because JESUSCHRIST does John Krasinski look like the split image of J in that movie. J could have been his double. But also because Maya Rudolph and John Krasinski played so beautifully off of each other, and even though it's such a sad story, it feels like home.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 25. There were a lot of sidecars, and Ryan Gosling cupcakes which were WONDERFUL.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Actually applying to grad school instead of just thinking about it.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Pretty much the same as last year. More sweat pants.

34. What kept you sane?
Medication, therapy, and J.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ryan Gosling, John Kraskinski.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health Insurance

37. Who did you miss?
Our friends Dan and Lydia moved to the D.C. area, and life in Boston is not the same without them.

Ever since I lost my office job, I waste less time on gmail chat, so I miss Laura's face a lot, too.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
The bartender and trivia Tim. We were searching for a place to do pub trivia this year. Our old plan of the Harvard Square Tommy Doyles on Wednesday wasn't working out as well as it used to, so one week we went to the Tommy Doyles in Kendall, near MIT, and the bartender remembered me and Jess from this one time months before that we had stopped in for a drink before dinner. Random. So we started going every week, and now we're BFFs with the bartender and the trivia dude. It's great.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Always, always, ALWAYS use a contract!

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"This will be a better year
Make a little money, take a lot of shit
Feel real bad, then get over it, oh,

This will be a better year"
—Harlem Shakes, Strictly Game

Ten Words [The Internet] Needs To Stop Misspelling

Click on the image to be taken to the oatmeal's hilariously illustrated guide to ten words you need to stop misspelling. If you're a great speller, then laugh and laugh at the hilarious imagery.

Pay special attention to how to spell DEFINITELY.

Birthday Present From Me to Me!

Anthropologie designs just give me shivers, they're so pretty. I'm reluctant to turn in the card, but I'm pretty excited about my necklace and the discount!

At Least One Of Us Has Moved On

I accidentally found a piece written about me by my college boyfriend's sister, recently. Ouch.

I'm not sad that her opinion of me is crummy or that she saw me as a monster, because if I'm honest with myself I know I was. Her story is definitely biased, but it's only biased in the sense that that was the me that she knew. Save for the tidbit about the scarf. I don't know why she thought I threw away his "$150 cashmere scarf" that she had scoured the city for because I had "knit him one that Christmas," only because the Christmas she's referring to was two years before I learned to knit, so I question the integrity of all of her facts. I don't remember throwing away a scarf. I remember college boyfriend being really careless with his shit, though. I've forgotten most of the details, but reading her words was refreshing in that it gave me an accurate insight into my character at the time, but is was shoddy when it comes to actual factual events.

Anyway, the issue here is that she knew me as a "walking scowl", and I couldn't have made that impression more strongly had I actually disliked her the first time I met her. And honestly if there is a bunch of people whose bad opinion of me really doesn't bother me, it's that whole family. Her story about my "just desserts" (i.e. her brother dumping me...worst punishment, ever!) is only funny because she clearly still sees me as that person; because she wrote it as if, by god, I should heed her words or continue to be treated the way her brother and his family treated me FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. DUN DUN DUN. It was downright hilarious. It's not like I had no idea I was this big crazy bitch back then. Plus it's good to know that while my anger was obviously wasted—as all anger is—my suspicions of their hatred weren't signs of paranoid schizophrenia. I smile a lot more now that I have a boyfriend who loves me and friends who I actually acknowledge (who love me, too).

It was because of college boyfriend's family, mostly, that I was terrified to pieces when I first met J's family. My experience with the cb's family had been so mind-numbingly terrible—so much like driving an ice pick through my eyeballs—I was convinced that no one's mother could ever love me and that I was doomed to be seen as a "walking scowl" forever. I don't dispute that over the years my attitude grew worse, but I know that I did say thank you the first time I met them. I was, though, and am still painfully shy, so I probably didn't come off as grateful. They also scared the crap out of me; they were overbearing and overwhelming and just plain scary the whole time, and they mostly kept to themselves when they weren't being nice to the point of insincerity.

Two significant things changed after college. First, that it's important to me that my boyfriend has a good relationship with his mother, and J has an excellent relationship with his. Secondly, more importantly, his relationship to me is one of love and trust that we have built over the years by ultimately being kind to each other. It is his unquestioning faith in my goodness that makes me want to be a better person. I am still crazy, and I am still mean-spirited and judgmental sometimes, but J knows how to diffuse it, and he knows when and how to step up and be a man about it, which is precisely why I am putty in his hands. It's also why I don't have to resort to silly antics or petty jealousy just to get him to stay.

The crucial ingredient missing back then was maturity on everyone's part (mine, yes. Absolutely. But his especially. And his family? Yikes), which is why it made me sad to see her holding onto that anger for such a long time—enough to post about it online, anyway, and without a hint of irony. I have no delusions about the impression I made, and although they'd be the last people to believe me, I have a few stories about how woefully ungracious he was to my family the first time he met them, too.

Anyway, the long and short of it is this: a lot of bad things happened in my college relationship. Mostly it was because we were the worst fit that two people could probably be. And I never wonder what would have happened if I might have been more gracious—more like myself—when I first met them. Losing him was the best thing that ever happened to me, and prolonging the end of that misery would have actually ruined my life. I've made some mistakes in my time, but the length and significance of that relationship in my life was probably the biggest.

And with this story, another chapter of that time in my life is closed forever. Sometimes I wish that my slate had been clean before I met J, but I realize that our relationship wouldn't be as rich and purely happy as it is if I hadn't made those mistakes. They're mine, and for better or for worse, they've shaped me. I figured out what happiness and love are when you don't try to force them. I'm not saying that's worth a hundred ex-boyfriends of that caliber, but to end up being with someone like J it has certainly been worth the journey it took to get here.

United Airlines Sucks. But I Guess That's Not News.

While I was typing up my complaints to the BBB about my recent nightmare trip to El Paso with United Airlines, I stumbled across this video. It's catchy and it's cute, but I'm still too angry with the way United jerked me around to laugh about it. Maybe I'll laugh about it when I finally get my luggage back (oh, yes, they "misplaced" it on the outgoing and return flights! United, FTW).