Wrapping up 2015

Wrapping up 2014

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?
   Made a baby
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From Last Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Buying snacks from a vending machine. So, I guess this one waxed and waned, but I tried very hard most days to NOT do this.
• A new skill I'd like to learn: How to do a stunning cat eye
• A person I hope to be more like: My husband, who is mindful and organized. I'm still working on it
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate to one of the many public services we utilize. We donated to WERS & WBUR this year, as well as our alma matters, and the conservation lands in our town.
• A place I'd like to visit: All of the conservation trails in my neighborhood. Definitely have hit up many of the conservation trails in our area. Have absolutely done all of the ones in walking distance of our house and then some!
This Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Eating when I'm stressed/bored/sad/celebrating
• A new skill I'd like to learn: light woodworking parenting
• A person I hope to be more like: Someone who can easily socialize with others
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate my time
• A place I'd like to visit: England
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   Yes indeed! We had a little baby girl come into our circle of friends this year
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   Thankfully, no.
5. What trips did you take?
   We went to PA for a BBQ, and MO for a wedding.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
   A new car, a baby!
7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
   August 6th—the day I found out I had a + pregnancy test.
   
   I got that first, faint positive on that Friday night, and was surprised as F*-all. I actually had a glass of wine while I was cooking dinner, and I had poured myself another one. I was feeling light/happy and a little bit tipsy, and thought I'd take a pregnancy test for giggles. I had SO MANY OF THEM, due to buying multiple packs of ovulation strips—it was cheaper to buy them bundled together.
   
   I dumped that second glass of wine immediately and proceeded to flip my shit in my head. I waited to tell J until Saturday morning when I was able to take a more expensive First Response test, which showed a clear, no-nonsense positive...
   
   I jumped back into bed and asked him when he'd be awake enough to hear good news, and after that it was the hardest secret I've ever had to keep for 14+ weeks!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   I was promoted at work, I managed a group of students for a semester, and I think that they are all talented and amazing, and I can't wait to see what their futures hold.
9. What was your biggest failure?
   Just my big mouth...again.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    I had about the worst cold imaginable in January. It affected my respiratory system, and I ended up having to use a nebulizer for my asthma—something that I have not done in years. Then again in August, same thing. Terrible cold, upper respiratory problems, and then bam, in the middle of it, pregnant. Then there was the "morning" sickness, and the bloating, and the emotional stress and the being clumsy and dizzy all the time. FUN TIMES.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    Everything for the nursery. A crib from IKEA, fabric for the curtains, lamps. It all came together so wonderfully.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    My husband, who was my rock during the SIXTEEN WEEKS that I could not tell anyone I was pregnant. Then the poor man had to listen to me go on and on and on about all of my little symptoms and grievances, not to mention deal with my mood swings and utter fatigue and uselessness.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    Donald Trump, anyone who supported Trump.
14. Where did most of your money go?
    Maternity clothes, the nursery, baby related expenses.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    When I stopped being nauseated all the time and was able to eat real food again!
16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
    Shut Up And Dance by Walk the Moon
    Dearly Departed by Shakey Graves
    Wide Open by The Chemical Brothers
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Exercising before I got pregnant, and generally moving around when I did get pregnant.
18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    Being hyper focused on trying to conceive, which would have relieved a lot of stress.
19. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
    With J, eating homemade Chinese food, then that weekend, we cooked for a small group of friends.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
    With some friends of ours having a wonderful "Thanksgiving" dinner.
21. How will you be spending New Years?
    Probably sleeping, since the wee one demands a 9PM bedtime. (We ended up going to our neighbors' house for board games, and I lasted until after 10, since I was drinking sugary Cranberry juice.)
22. Did you fall in love in 2015?
    Every time we had an ultrasound
23. What was your favorite TV program?
    The League (rewatch), Broadchurch, Sherlock
24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*
    *I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.
25.  What was the best book you read?
    The Girl on the Train was really good.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    WERS
27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
    Pregnant!!!
28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
    A working commuter rail at the beginning of the year. Our public transit system was out of whack for over a month, and there were many days I spent two, three, or four hours commuting into or home from work. I felt like the entire month of February, and much of March was spent on soul crushing journeys to and from the city, with a group of the biggest, most annoying assholes who treated the situation as though it was everyone else's fault that the transit system shit the bed.
    Bonus: What did you not want that you ended up getting anyway?
    Snow. And more snow. And then some more snow.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
    Not a film, but we saw the live broadcast of Hamlet from the Barbican. It was three hours of Benedict Cumberbatch and it was wonderful.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 31. J and I went to a restaurant in Boston that we love (Grotto) with some friends, and followed that with an Improv Asylum show.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    If the commuter rail hadn't failed in the biggest way possible during the winter.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
    Maternity pants
33. What kept you sane?
    Prozac
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Benedict Cumberbatch
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
    Everything that wasn't discussed during the debates because look over here, everybody!
36. Who did you miss?
    My grandmother, as always
37. Who was the best new person you met?
    One of our neighbors who raises chickens
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015
    "Don't spend time with people who don't treat you well," among other things.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    

    I knew I loved you before I met you - Savage Garden

Things I Love Thursday: Dots!

My current favorite game is TwoDots, the followup game to Dots, which was a fun, engaging puzzle game that I originally found through the Starbucks App. From their website:

Inspired by the art of Yayoi Kusama, Dots was created with the notion that beauty and fun are not mutually exclusive. Dots is a minimalist game that was designed to be a soothing experience.

It was soothing, and I loved playing it, but eventually, it just became habit and I wasn't really getting anything new out of the never changing game. I would open it on my phone while I was in waiting rooms, or on the train, and I just wasn't having fun anymore, although it was still soothing and calming.

But then...then they released TwoDots.

Join two brave dots as they traverse arctic tundras, navigate fiery jungles, and plunge the ocean depths. TwoDots is a modern-classic puzzle game where you simply connect colored dots to score points and complete objectives.

Two dots is fantastic. They keep adding levels and the "adventure" keeps continuing with new and exciting types of "bad guys" to beat. It's puzzles and adorable little dots all at once. The graphics are lovely, and the animations are great. People even download the soundtrack.

I highly recommend this addictive game. If you've never played the original, Dots, it's also fantastically addictive.

Things I Love Thursday: Murder Edition

I recently got J into watching HBO's the Jinx with me. It is a documentary about Robert Durst, and while there has been a lot of criticism about it, it has also taken off like Serial. The whole internet is into it, and that excites me. I got Jason to watch it because he listens to our local NPR station every morning, and was listening after Durst was arrested.

On the way home he said, "I was listening to something I thought you would like [because murder]. This guy was arrested, and I guess he had something to do with his wife disappearing a long time ago...and then he moved to Texas..."

"Robert Durst?"

"Yeah, and he was arrested for murdering this woman..."

"Susan Berman?"

And then I told him about the Jinx, and suddenly, he's watching Murder Porn with me. This is a good year for Murder.

Things I Love Thursday

My Job—I was just promoted at work, and I am so excited for things to come. I get the jitters at my desk every day, and I am challenged in new and exciting ways. I get to mentor people! I am just so thrilled to work at such an awesome supportive company.

The White Queen—a Starz network show based on Philipa Gregory's novel about the Lancasters and the Yorks. CHILLS. I love this period of British history!!! It's my new Amazon Prime go-to show.

Things I Love Thursday

I love how, adorably, Benedict Cumberbatch still can't say "Penguins." He managed to get it out correctly the first time, but going forward it's just pengwings. Pengwings everywhere (he says it 17 seconds into this video):

Things I Love Thursday

It's BACK! I am officially bringing back Things I Love Thursday.

And for my triumphant return, a video of Benedict Cumberbatch not being able to say the word penguin:


Along with a video of Benedict redeeming himself on the Graham Norton Show:


What else is on the shortlist?
Performing a task exceptionally well at work ♥ Watching House of Cards with my husband ♥ Knitting on the train ♥ the deer that come about our house and leave trails in the snow while we're away

32 Before 32

1. Learn how to carry a tune
2. Read 2 Classics
3. Read 2 Best Sellers
4. Hike trails around our house
5. Make art for our dining room
6. Do another 30 day challenge
7. Go for a major bike ride
8. Thin out my closet
9. Plant a garden
10. Finish knitting my Abrigado blanket
11. Perfect a wing eye
12. Build a fire pit
13. Make a piece of jewelry
14. Make a DIY Camera bag insert
15. Make French Onion Soup
16. Take a silhouette photo
17. Improve my posture
18. Finish one design project per week
19. Go candle pin bowling
20. Find more balance
21. Watch House of Cards with J
22. Buy fresh flowers once a week
23. Get more sleep
24. Eat a vegetable at every meal
25. Make art
26. Decorate for Christmas
27. Take a trip
28. Try a new sport
29. Get my eyebrows done
30. Get a massage
31. Visit a new museum
32. Display my camera collection

31 Before 31 Update

1. 100 Pushups
2. Do another 28 or 30 day challenge
   I started trying to learn Spanish using Duolingo. I decided this was my challenge. So for the whole year, I certainly used the App, but I also succeeded in reaching my 30 day Spanish challenge.
3. Log my food and exercise every single day for a minimum of 3 months
   I would start doing this and I was really good at it for about five days, then I would lapse into forgetfulness and laziness and stop doing it. Lather, rinse, repeat.
4. Go ice skating
   Boom.
   
   
5. Run a 10K
   Why do I keep doing this to myself? Every time I work my way up to a 5K, I lose steam. We did do a 15 mile bike ride, this year...does that count? I feel like a broken record!
6. Go to sleep early
   Moved over an hour away from work. Need to wake up in time to take the commuter rail. Bedtime is now 9:30.
7. Improve my postureI have done noting quantifiable to accomplish this goal, and it is definitely something I've noticed.
8. Buy a house
9. Knit a sweater
10. Schedule "me" time at least once a week. Strive for at least two hours of solitude
    I don't think I met this goal, measurably, but I was able to be more conscious about the time I needed with myself, and to try to make only half of this time "computer time."
11. Meditate
    I downloaded Headspace, which got me started on a daily meditation program.
12. Visit a new state
    Shockingly, had never been to VA. Boom. Done.
    
13. Visit a new museum
    We saw Gropius House in the winter, and had a private tour. It was beautiful, and I would highly recommend it to anyone remotely interested in art, architecture, or just New England History in general.
14. Go to at least one lecture or creative performance
15. Read Four Classics:
    The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky) - Started
    The Age of Innocence (Edith Wharton) - Didn't even acquire
    The Stranger (Albert Camus)
    The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
16. 52 Weeks listing Things for which I am Grateful
17. 52 Weeks to an Organized Home
18. 90 minutes of Yoga at minimum once a week
    Nope, although I did more yoga at home due to my subscription to MyYogaPro (courtesy of my sister!)
19. Learn about my family tree
20. Make a cheese souffle
    Did this for our anniversary!
21. Buy a watch
    I did this, and it was gorgeous, but I am glad I did not buy a very expensive watch, because it turns out I do not like to wear it everyday.
22. Make hot buttered rum

23. Take a stunning photographGot some Milky Way photography done in El Paso. Can't wait to try again, although I doubt I will find anything like that Texas sky up here!
    
24. Write a haiku
    Thirty-two, doing
    "old person" activities
    like feeding the birds
25. Make a pair of earrings
26. Get my eyebrows shaped professionally
27. See a Penn State Game at Beaver Stadium
    J, you had one job.
28. Letterpress
    I letter-pressed our holiday cards, and I am very very happy with the way they came out!
29. Buy number or letter balloons for an occasion
    Like, what occasion? Sitting at home and watching Netflix?
30. Find a new shade of lipstick
31. Buy It's a Wonderful Life on DVD
    Now I can relive the moments from my childhood when I used to wrap Christmas presents and watch this Jimmy Stewart classic with my grandmother in my own house instead of trekking to the Brattle Theatre—or maybe do both!

Wrapping up 2014

Wrapping up 2013

1. What did you do in 2014 that you'd never done before?
   Bought a house!
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
   From Last Year
   
   • A bad habit I'm going to break: Snacking mindlessly (NOPE)
   • A new skill I'd like to learn: Photoshop (like a pro) (MEH, although for work, I've had to step up my game)
   • A person I hope to be more like: My manager, who is patient and kind and outgoing (Sometimes I feel like I was starting to learn, but ...)
   • A good deed I'm going to do: Donate blood. It's been a while since I've been able to do this (NOPE. I also found out that I am AB, so in addition to any inability to donate on my part, it's also the least helpful blood type...)
   • A place I'd like to visit: The El Paso Mission Trail (I was not able to do this this year, but we did go to Carlsbad Caverns, instead, which was a really good trip)
This Year
• A bad habit I'm going to break: Buying snacks from a vending machine
• A new skill I'd like to learn: How to do a stunning cat eye
• A person I hope to be more like: My husband, who is mindful and organized.
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate to one of the many public services we utilize
• A place I'd like to visit: All of the conservation trails in my neighborhood
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
   Indeed! We had a baby girl come into the world shortly before Christmas
4. Did anyone close to you die?
   Thankfully, no.
5. What trips did you take?
   Mexico! It was just Cancun for a few days, and it was for work, but hey! I got a passport stamp.
   Nashville—another work trip that was tons of fun
   El Paso—we went down for a family wedding and had a blast
6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
   A diet and exercise routine
7. What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
   June 1, the day we moved to our new house
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
   Getting our shit together and buying a house. There were a lot of obstacles and hurdles, and it was emotional and financially terrifying, but everyday we are in this house, I feel better and better about our decision.
9. What was your biggest failure?
   My big mouth
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    Just the usual colds, allergies and sinus things.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
    Our house!
    A 10' Tall Christmas Tree
    A new couch that J actually fits on
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    Our families all came up to spend Thanksgiving with us, and it was wonderful.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    There was an incident of "baby name theft" that left me pretty angry.
14. Where did most of your money go?
    Our house...I'm beginning to see a theme.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
    My birthday present, which was a vinyl recording of my favorite Smashing Pumpkins album. Buying a house (HOUSE!)
    The potential of a whole new world in the kitchen when I got a stand mixer for Christmas.
16. What song will always remind you of 2014?
    Let Her Go by Passenger (THANKS, BUDWEISER)
    Counting Stars by One Republic
    Argentina I, II, III by Tokyo Police Club
    I Wanna Get Better by The Bleachers
17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
    Taking advantage of our beautiful neighborhood and all of the trails near our house.
18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
    Being hung over—it's not like it was in my 20's. Now if I have a hangover I spend 3 days feeling like shit instead of one morning.
19. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
    We hosted Thanksgiving at our house this year
20. How did you spend Christmas?
    With our MA family, eating a delicious dinner and drinking the best Old Fashioned I have ever tasted.
21. How will you be spending New Years?
    Probably sleeping
22. Did you fall in love in 2014?
    As always
23. What was your favorite TV program?
    Sherlock
    Gilmore Girls on Netflix
24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
    I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*
    *I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.
25.  What was the best book you read?
    The Handmaid's Tale
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    WERS
27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
    The Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness on vinyl.
    A new dining room table and a new couch
    Cowboy boots from Nashville
    An Aqua Stand Mixer
    A HOUSE
28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
    A greyhound, which happens every year. One day I will have a house and a schedule that allow for a dog, but right now it wouldn't be fair to a four legged family member
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
    The Imitation Game
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 30, the big doble-quinceañera. We went ice skating, had some dinner at Border Cafe and then went to Harvest for some great dessert and cocktails. We had a piñata, but decided to save it for the summer when more people were able to join in the fun.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    If I had done a better job re-learning spanish
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?
    Plaid and Flannel
33. What kept you sane?
    Prozac and Klonopin, and allergy medicaiton
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Benedict Cumberbatch, Alli Speed
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
    I got pretty riled up about our local ballot questions. Turns out we moved to a red zone.
36. Who did you miss?
    I always miss my grandmother—buying our house and settling down up here made me think of her and her house quite a bit when I found myself trying to figure out what makes my house my home.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
    Our neighbors are wonderful
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014
    "Don't spend time with people who don't treat you well," among other things.
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    

    Two sips from the cup of human kindness
    and I'm shit faced, just laid to waste.

31 Things to do Before 31

1. 100 Pushups
2. Do another 28 or 30 day challenge
3. Log my food and exercise every single day for a minimum of 3 months
4. Go ice skating
5. Run a 10K
6. Go to sleep early
7. Improve my posture
8. Buy a house
9. Knit a sweater
10. Schedule "me" time at least once a week. Strive for at least two hours of solitude
11. Meditate
12. Visit a new state
13. Visit a new museum
14. Go to at least one lecture or creative performance
15. Read Four Classics:
    The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
    The Age of Innocence (Edith Wharton)
    The Stranger (Albert Camus)
    The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)
16. 52 Weeks listing Things for which I am Grateful
17. 52 Weeks to an Organized Home
18. 90 minutes of Yoga at minimum once a week
19. Learn about my family tree
20. Make cheese souffle
21. Buy a watch
22. Make hot buttered rum
23. Take a stunning photograph
24. Write a haiku
25. Make a pair of earrings
26. Get my eyebrows shaped professionally
27. See a Penn State Game at Beaver Stadium
28. Letterpress
29. Buy number or letter balloons for an occasion
30. Find a new shade of lipstick
31. Buy It's a Wonderful Life on DVD

30 Before 30 List Update

Up until 30, for some reason it made sense to me that I wanted to to x-1 things before I turned x. But 29 before 30 seemed kind of...silly. 30 is big. 30 is...thirty. So without further adieu, my list of thirty things I wanted to do before 30:

1. Visit Fallingwater
   Frank Lloyd Wright's PA treasure was beautiful, and definitely worth the wait. We got tickets for the in-depth tour, and we learned some really interesting facts about the house, plus I was allowed to take some really great pictures with a wide angle lens that I rented from borrowlenses.com.
   
2. Visit a new state
   I was not able to do this this year. We made it up to Maine, out to California (twice), Nevada, and back to PA, but we've been to all of those places before.
3. Visit a new museum
   I visited the Andy Warhol museum while I was in Pittsburgh over the 4th of July weekend. It was pretty awesome, and although they didn't allow photos, I was too mesmirized by the David Bowie interview to really pay attention to anything else (well, besides the silver clouds)
4. Make my own flavored vodka
   I made cherry flavored vodka with a mini-bottle of Bully Boy and some in-season black cherries. Sonic ain't got nothing on my homemade cherry limeade slushes!
5. Make ice cream
6. Find a piece of good furniture
   I feel like I did one better and got a very beautiful rug by Austin artist Alyson Fox (from West Elm). It is gorgeous and I love it. We even bought a vacuum cleaner JUST BECAUSE I love this rug so much, and want to take care of it properly forever. We also finally got around to getting a cube Expedit for our vinyl collection.
   
   
7. Grow tomatoes
   Yeah, baby
   
8. Add a lens to my camera collection
   After some deliberation, I decided to rent the lens I wanted whenever I needed it. This worked out for the best, financially. Although I'd still like to add it to my collection eventually, the cost for this one was prohibitive.
9. Take bird pictures
   Done! Got a photo of a hawk a week after I posted this, which was more than I ever could have dreamed! Now I need to use the good old telephoto lens and get some "real" bird pictures as the telephoto intended.
10. Make a lightbox
11. Finish knitting a blanket
12. Sew a skirt
    I will update with this project soon!
13. Make a travel book for guests/Scrapbook about Boston
    I collected some maps from the airport, and gathered all of those plus soaps, shampoos, and a list of suggestions for things to do.
14. Take a haunted trolley tour
15. Ride the Swan Boats
16. Learn to play guitar
    Ha. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.
17. Take spanish lessons
    I didn't really follow through on this, even after I looked it up and asked around.
18. Read Three classics: War and Peace, Persuasion, and Crime and Punishment
19. Start waking up early
    I had to start waking up before 6:30 for my new job. So...done!
20. Visit a national monument
    Turns out that Symphony Hall is a National Monument, so check!
21. Run another 5K
22. Repaint/refinish our kitchen chairs
23. Overhaul the sh*t out of my closet
    My intentions were good, but I did not have time for this.
24. Overhaul the sh*t out of my online portfolio
    I kind of did this, but not to the depth or extent I wanted.
25. Serve on a Jury
    Okay, this wasn't strictly on my list, but I did finally get to serve jury duty. It felt great to do my civic duty, even though the trial was pretty abysmal and left me with little sense of justice. Innocent until proven guilty, though, right?
26. Get my first tattoo
    I decided I'd rather have a house. We'll see what happens after we save all our extra $$$ and buy property.
27. Do 30 days of yoga
    I did this challenge
28. Keep a Therapy Journal
    I never got around to this, but I do jot down some of the more important things when I think of them or when they help me more than usual.
29. Set a measurable goal in therapy
30. Eat a cleaner diet
    J and I started doing Paleo in July. We hoped to make it a lifestyle change instead of something we did for a few weeks. I think it made us more aware of where our food was coming from, and how lazy we had become since I started working full time. We're still making adjustments, but it was good for us, and we both lost some weight and learned some things.

Total: 20/30

28 before 29

Wrapping Up 2013

Wrapping up 2012

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?

• Planted tomatoes and peppers
• [Finished] Strip[ping] and repainted furniture
• Visited a Frank Lloyd Wright house (Fallingwater)
• Visited the Andy Warhol museum in Pittsburgh
• Saw the Boston Pops with J

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From last year:

• Run a 10K • I did not do this, but I did run two 5Ks. That counts, right?
• Open an etsy store • I also did not do this, but I got a job, which was really the point of the etsy store at the time the goal was made. I would still like to do this, but it's no longer at the front of my mind.
• Redesign my website • Nope. I did move everything over to Behance, though.

This year:

• A bad habit I'm going to break: Snacking mindlessly
• A new skill I'd like to learn: Photoshop (like a pro)
• A person I hope to be more like: My manager, who is patient and kind and outgoing
• A good deed I'm going to do: Donate blood. It's been a while since I've been able to do this
• A place I'd like to visit: The El Paso Mission Trail

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
One of my besties from college had a baby boy, and managed to name him after a member of N'Sync. Another College bestie had a baby the same month. Babies, everywhere!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year—we stayed Stateside.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?
A house

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
January 29th, because that was when I was hired to contract at my new job, which I love. December 11th, because that is the date they told me I would be hired as an employee.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finding a job that I love, learning that I need to love myself first.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not loving myself enough, blaming myself for things I cannot control.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just the usual: colds, stomach flu, banged up fingers and toes.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
An Alyson Fox rug from West Elm, and a Rabbit bottle opener for my mother-in-law.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My managers really went to bat for me when it came to hiring me after I temped for almost a year

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Only my own

14. Where did most of your money go?
We've been saving for a house this year, but as usual, a large percentage of our non-housing money went towards travel: travel for weddings, travel to see family, and vacation(s).

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

• Seeing Fallingwater
• Getting hired at [job]
• House hunting

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?
Cinema by Skrillex, which will forever remind me of J's 30th birthday that we spent in PA with his brother. A great weekend, for sure.

17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Hiking and general outdoorsy-ness.

18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eating. Particularly processed and canned foods.

20. How did you spend Thanksgiving?
Vegas, baby!

20. How did you spend Christmas?

In PA with J's family.

21. How will you be spending New Years?
Probably at home with Dial-A-Pizza and a mini champagne bottle.

22. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Again and again.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Breaking Bad, which went out with the biggest bang and most satisfying ending since Six Feet Under, although like Six Feet Under I was devastated when there were no more episodes.

Then we rewatched it and realized it's just revenge porn.

24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*

*I have added an addendum to include the strong sense of dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.

25. What was the best book you read?
Crime and Punishment

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
fake electronic music (only the pop stuff for me!)

27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
A trip to Fallingwater, time with a very expensive wide angle lens (from borrowlenses.com)

28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?
A greyhound, again. We had finally started to pull the trigger, even going to an adoption agency to meet dogs, then I got a job downtown, and realized I couldn't juggle those two life changes. One day we will have a dog, and a house, and kids, and chickens. One day.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
We didn't really see any movies this year that were stand outs...probably my most enjoyable theatre experience was It's A Wonderful Life at the Brattle—our yearly Christmas tradition.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 29. J and I went to one of our favorite tapas/cocktail places, CasaB, and were treated like royalty—they even had champagne cocktails waiting for us when we arrived! It was wonderful and low key and perfect.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A patch of land in the country.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Recycled

33. What kept you sane?
Prozac and Klonopin

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Benedict Cumberbatch—I even had a series of dirty dreams about him. As Sherlock Holmes, of course.

I didn't realize how many things I've seen that he's been in because really, this started out as a Sherlock thing more than a Cumberbatch thing. And I hardly seem like the only one to have realized this in 2013.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Pretty much the same as always.

I was upset about the Marathon Bombings, and the aftermath of how it was handled. I don't believe in the goodness in people the way I did when I was younger, and all of it just rang so false to me. It made me very angry, and I was too close to the issue to appreciate it when other (far away) people got worked up about it.

What does any of this have to do with politics? Nothing, which is why I got worked up when people tried to talk about this awful thing in terms of political action, inaction, or different sets of (religious/political) rights and wrongs.

36. Who did you miss?
I always miss my grandmother, but this year I missed her especially. I have no idea why it was so difficult this year in particular since she passed in 2005, but it was nice to be able to sit with her memory for a while longer than usual this year.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Many of the people I work with now

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

To love myself.

I'm still working on it.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Raskolnikov felt sick, but he couldn't say why
When he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye
Some things you do for money, and some you do for fun
But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one.

Your Body on Yoga

A great info-graphic from the Huffington Post. See more information here.

Therapy Goals: Things to do Before I'm Thirty

On my list of 30 Before 30, I wanted to set measurable goals in therapy. This has been an awesome goal to have in mind when I talk to my therapist because it makes me go in with a purpose.

Our latest thing is building a communication model that will get more of my needs met, so that I can stop feeling so shitty because my needs are not being met. This might make little sense out of context, so here's an example:

Our neighbors smoke on their balcony porch (observation without evaluation). When they do this, I feel aggravated and tense because I have a need for the air in my personal space to be free of allergens (I have asthma). An actionable request would be to ask them to smoke on the front porch.

Insert Empathy Here

One way to ask this is, "Hey, I can understand why you guys would like to smoke on your balcony—I love to hang out here, too. I hate to be a pain, but I have asthma, and the smoke aggravates my asthma. Do you think that you could smoke on the front porch, instead?"

My communication model has never gotten me what I wanted because in my mind I always start aggressive, maintain aggression, and finish aggressive. In reality, I am passive. Passive and pissed off, all. The. Time.

See, technically, the lease doesn't allow smoking on our balconies. But if I walk over with all my pedantry, I look like an asshole, and of course they can smoke on their porch (I "can't"? Watch me!). Does the landlord like the person who phones him about the smokers on the second floor? No! He hates that person! Will he do anything about it? Probably send a letter. Which they will burn. On their balcony. And round and round we go.

This is not a communication model that works for me, even though it is the one I fall back on time and time again. This is not a communication model that I would like to pass on to my children.

Did the new model work in our real life example? Sure, it did (our neighbors were nice about it, too). We'll see what happens in the future, but in the meantime the need was met, and that's more important than being "right."

Rural, MA

One of the reasons I want to move out beyond the 'burbs

source

My Hollaback Story

I was inspired recently to share a story of street-harassment that I went through, because a lot of the anger I carried around for years was about feeling helpless in these situations, and for some reason they happened to me exponentially more when I was unemployed. There is something about being a lone woman at 2:00pm on a Wednesday that makes you more likely to be a target for some reason. This is only one of many stories, but it was by far the scariest:

I was once riding my bicycle back from Trader Joe's during the day, when a man who was also on bike started following me. I didn't notice when he first appeared, but in hindsight, I'm pretty sure he was in the parking lot, and kept a safe distance as I left, then caught up to me on a small quiet side-street where there were less people.

He didn't say anything overtly sexual or lewd, but he was definitely coming onto me in a very aggressive way, not as someone showing interest, but as someone who saw an opportunity to belittle me as he made it very clear with his body language that he could do what he liked with me at any moment. I had bought myself flowers that day, and he kept commenting on how I was very beautiful like those flowers—like a thing, and something about his tone made chills run down my spine. I ignored him, which is when he started calling me a "fucking bitch" and a "stupid stuck-up cunt." I felt like I couldn't even breathe, because anything I did wrong might set him off physically—there was sporadic traffic, but I didn't trust people to intervene, so I just kept my eyes ahead and tried to get to a busier street as quickly as possible without looking quite as terrified as I was. He passed me and slowed down to a snail's pace, just to prove that I was too afraid to pass him, and that's when I truly began to panic. Thankfully, a row of cars came by at that time, and I jolted back into action. I pedaled like hell. I made it to Mass Ave in record time, safely and without incident, and I lost him in a crowd of cars and people.

I later talked to my therapist about it, and it affected him so much that he ended up asking a police officer on traffic duty, out of curiosity, if I should have reported it. The police officer said emphatically that, yes, I should have reported it. Maybe nothing happened to me, but I'm surely not the only woman he harassed that day, that week, that month...Regardless of what he did or didn't do to any other women what he did to me was a crime. I could have (and should have) biked to the closest police station with a description immediately. Better yet, now I know to try to take photos when I can. I have not had another incident quite this scary since then, but I wish I had not had to learn this lesson this way. I don't go down the long quiet street for the pleasant bike ride without being aware of my surroundings, and knowing my options for getting, quickly, to a more trafficked area. I wear a camera on my helmet. I shouldn't have to do any of this. But I do. Because I can't go for a jog without getting honked at, wolf whistled, picked up. And that isn't even the sinister side of street harassment. The wolf whistles are NOTHING like the FEAR that I felt that day, and I don't think that he was just a "guy being a guy"—I have no doubt that if those cars hadn't come by, this would be a very different story.

One day four years ago, a man thought that a lone woman grocery shopping in the middle of the day was a target instead of a person. And that makes me angry for all of the women, and all of the harassment.

Because he believes in himself, he doesn’t try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself, he doesn’t need others’ approval.
Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him.
–Tao Te Ching

Lately, I have been wishing that I could choose to ignore the insecurity inside of others, instead believing that it is only inside of me. Some of these people need to be right, no matter what. Maybe they simply need to be heard, but it is usually at the expense of listening to others, and I get tired of being bombarded with these messages. I need to take a step back, stop feeling attacked, and just ignore the noise—it has nothing to do with me.

So today's meditation by Deepak Chopra resonated a little bit more strongly this morning:

Today, I choose to accept myself. I choose to be aware of what it is like to simply be, without self-judgement. I choose to live each moment knowing that I am is enough to sustain me. I choose to sit quietly and open my heart to myself. Today, I behold myself, and know deeply that my capacity to love others, and for others to love me, is directly connected to my capacity to love myself. Today I choose love.

Project 365 Update: November and December

Wow, a whole year flew by before I even knew it.

November was a month where I voted, where we celebrated squash, and then we went to PA for Thanksgiving. I don't think I have a favorite photo, but gun to my head, I'd choose this one from a bike ride we took with some friends:

December was Christmastime, but the photo-taking was abysmal. It was my first month of unemployment, and even though I saw it coming from months away, it was painful and I stayed in like a hermit a lot. Not a lot of good photo-ops.

Still, we got our first real snow of the season, I finally finished Matt's gloves, I made dry shampoo, we ate frozen wedding cake, and my sister and I got really drunk on Christmas Eve drinking Jack Daniels out of a mason jar. I then caught the flu from a baby, and was wiped out for three weeks. By the way, babies are the worst.

Whatever, I still dressed up for New Year's Eve. And I looked fucking amazing for someone with a nasty head cold or the flu:

30 Things to do Before I Turn 30

Up until 30, for some reason it made sense to me that I wanted to to x-1 things before I turned x. But 29 before 30 seemed kind of...silly. 30 is big. 30 is...thirty. So without further adieu, my list of thirty things I want to do before 30:

1. Visit Fallingwater
2. Visit a new state
3. Visit a new museum
4. Make my own flavored vodka
5. Make ice cream
6. Find a piece of good furniture
7. Grow tomatoes
8. Add a lens to my camera collection
9. Take bird pictures
10. Make a lightbox
11. Finish knitting a blanket
12. Sew a skirt
13. Make a travel book for guests/Scrapbook about Boston
14. Take a haunted trolley tour
15. Ride the Swan Boats
16. Learn to play guitar
17. Take spanish lessons
18. Read Three classics: War and Peace, Persuasion, and Crime and Punishment
19. Start waking up early
20. Visit a national park
21. Run another 5K
22. Repaint/refinish our kitchen chairs
23. Overhaul the sh*t out of my closet
24. Overhaul the sh*t out of my online portfolio
25. Serve on a Jury
26. Get my first tattoo
27. Do 30 days of yoga
28. Start knitting a sweater
29. Set a measurable goal in therapy
30. Eat a cleaner diet

28 before 29

Wrapping Up 2012

Wrapping up 2011

1. What did you do in 2012 that you'd never done before?

• Caught a striped bass
• Went to a group meditation class
• Traveled internationally with my husband
• Ate frozen wedding cake
• Stripped paint from dining room chairs
• Patched drywall
• Ran a 5K

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
From last year:

• Work on my yoga/meditation
• I would like to be able to do crow pose without looking like a stuck barnyard animal. 
• I would like to get my hips closer to the floor in pigeon pose, and I would like to touch my heels to the floor in downward dog 
• I would like to meditate at least three times a week, and check out group meditation at least once this year
• Start earning more money as a freelance designer

I did do more yoga this year, but it tapered off in a really bad way after the summer. I still can't do crow pose, my downward facing dog is worse, my pigeon is better. I did check out group meditation exactly once this year. I earned some money freelancing, but I did begin to found a company with some graphic designers, and I have some work slated for 2013.

This year? Rather than resolutions, I'd like to set goals:

• Run a 10K
• Open an etsy store
• Redesign my website

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, friends of ours had a beautiful baby girl! We were actually there when she went into labor, which is apparently much less exciting than you'd think it would be (if you haven't had babies).

4. Did anyone close to you die?
J had a relative pass on this year.

5. What countries did you visit?

Croatia and Italy

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
A complete dining room chair set (all painted yellow)

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
August 18th. This was the day we were in Venice eating outside, and a parade of Hare Krishnas danced through the streets while we were having dinner. The one meal when we didn't have a camera!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I had an actual breakthrough where I figured out that I was angry, not because I was actually angry, but because of something I was feeling embarrassed and sad about—it was the first of many steps towards not being so angry all the time, and it felt so big, even though it was over something that was actually somewhat inconsequential.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I let someone completely insignificant get the best of me, and I turned into a total drama queen in front of my family.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got yoga mat burns on my elbows, and a nasty burn on my arm from our wok. I also inflamed my ankle, possibly by running too much too soon, and caught a nasty cold around Christmas.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I finally bought new, fancy, grownup sheets for our bed. They came from The Company Store, and they're so soft and so pretty.

I bought a Kate Spade bag and wallet, and I bought a new office chair. We also bought tickets to Europe, and while we were there, a Bad Memories Eraser for my sister.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My friend Jessica, who is the reason I ran an entire 5K. I was not the fastest, but I finished, and I didn't walk any of it, all due to her encouragement and support.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
One of my original designs had been accepted into a T-shirt contest and I was really thrilled about it until some wet blanket reported my T-shirt and another person's T-shirt for using unoriginal material, and their claims were baseless and factually untrue, but instead of being rational, the committee pulled the T-shirt designs and publicly called me and one other person out on not having "original, previously unpublished designs."

This all worked itself out in the end because me (and the other person) were in the right, and the committee (and the wet blanket) were in the wrong, but I had to fight this fight for two weeks. The first guy sends an email, and our T-shirts are pulled the same day, but they have to deliberate about their intrinsic wrongness for two weeks?

Anyway, it was really tough to keep my shit together for those two weeks. Especially because it was a stupid internal T-shirt contest, but I kind of didn't want to let it go that they emailed a good percentage of the university where I work and baselessly accused me of some form of not producing original work.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Most of our money went into paying for the wedding, the aftermath of the wedding, and our Europe trip.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

• Our wedding was featured on a wedding blog—100 Layer Cake.
• We went to Italy and Croatia in August
• We decided to adopt a greyhound in 2013

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder?
happier

thinner or fatter?
about ten pounds fatter

richer or poorer?
richer in experience

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
uppercuts, exercise.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Being angry all the time.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

El Paso

21. How will you be spending New Years?
Black and Gold NYE party at our house!

22. Did you fall in love in 2012?
Again and again.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Wilfred or Breaking Bad.

24. Do you "hate" anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think that I've come to decide that "hate," even the mild pretend "hate," is a completely wasted emotion. This doesn't mean that there isn't anyone that could have made this list, just that I choose not to participate in this question anymore.*

*I have added an addendum to include the dislike that I feel for people who mark up library books.

25. What was the best book you read?
I didn't enjoy, but learned a lot from Tich Nacht Hahn's Anger: Cooling the Flames. I found a lot of inspiration in Sharon Salzberg's Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation. As far as non-meditation related books? I really devoured the Hunger Games trilogy this year. Admittedly not the best books ever written, but can we please stop comparing it to the Twilight series?

I also read a few Anne Boleyn biographies that were fascinating and illuminating. She was such a powerful and intelligent woman.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I am going to forever regret publishing this on the Internet, but Call Me Maybe. Maybe?

Just kidding. My favorite album this year was a tossup between Hot Chip's In Our Heads—in particular the song Look at Where We Are and Stars' album Night. Neither of the bands were discoveries, but in lieu of Carly Rae Jaspen, it's better, right?

27. What did you want that you also ended up getting?
New riding boots, an immersion blender, a trip to Europe, and a Canon EOS 60D.

28. What did you want that you did not end up getting?

Relocation to the West/Southwest. I miss my mountains.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Wuthering Heights, Argo.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?I turned 28. The night before my actual birthday (which fell on a Sunday this year), we went to dinner at Cantina La Mexicana. After dinner, we all went down to Central Square for Heroes Night at TT The Bears—where they celebrated David Bowie's birthday at midnight. It was awesome!



The next day, my actual birthday, J continued our tradition of going to Harvard Square and eating cupcakes, plus going to Eastern Mountain Sports and American Apparel.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
This year not being an election year would have made a lot of things easier. Not being pressured to have babies woud have been nice, even though the thoughts are well meaning.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?

Lots of running clothes.

33. What kept you sane?
Avoiding my mother's facebook page.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ryan Gosling, of course!

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
In fact, many of the political issues I was stirred by weren't political issues at all—or shouldn't have been. Religion, women's rights, gay rights—you know, rights for people that are all equal in every way except when they're used as political props.

36. Who did you miss?
Our old neighbors, still. I'm also sad that my graphic design classes are over, but I still keep in touch.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

I met some really great people in my graphic design classes this year.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

I learned a lot of valuable lessons this year.

• It is okay to cry 
• It is okay to know that you're right about something when you're right about something, and simply ask to be heard
• It is not okay to visit my mother's facebook page and then get angry at what I see

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say 

-Gotye, Somebody That I Used to Know

or...

I'm so human
and it's ok
for me to feel this way 

-Lady Sovreign, So Human