12 January 2007

I knew the meaning of it all

French KicksKnee High just listened
Swan LakeAre You Swimming In Her Pools? 9 minutes ago
Pete YornThe Man 13 minutes ago
Joseph ArthurAutomatic Situation 16 minutes ago
The Young RepublicGirl From The Northern States 19 minutes ago
Someone Still Loves You Boris YeltsinYr Broom 22 minutes ago
The StrokesYou Only Live Once 24 minutes ago
The ThermalsHere's Your Future 27 minutes ago
Modest MouseDashboard 30 minutes ago
The Mountain GoatsTwo Headed Boy Pt. 1 34 minutes ago

My last ten tracks on last.fm -- just because I was talking about the indie music with Laura this morning, and even though I've been "good" lately, there is usually a track or two of "embarrassment" in between the indie songs; like Clay Aiken's Without You. I mean what? I don't own any Clay Aiken...That was a joke. Haha. Ha. But these are all good songs, and I recommend them all.

So, anyway, there's been a lot going on in my life, and I've been pretty good about updating the right people, so I haven't felt the need to post all about it here. Besides, since I revoked my parents' blog-reading privledges, it's been less about "this is what I did today" and "here's what's going on in my life in excruciating detail" all up in here, and more about the dirty jokes. Or at least maybe it should be.

Laura and I are going to write a "Posting Personals on Craigslist for Dummies" book. We discussed the plan yesterday, and I think we should set it into motion. So, it's been a while since I've browsed the CL Personals, but today I've been doing some research. My favorites so far have been
I'm unpretentious but willing to sell myself on "Craigslist". Conversations with witty segway's are awesome.
Because I think he put quotes around the wrong word, and also one of my life rules is "if you can't spell it, you're not allowed to use it." That's what the spell check and m-w.com are for. And this guy...
Top 30 reasons to date This man (Use to be 20) - 35

Reason 29 When you're wrong, I'll do the apologizing anyhow. (what?! Who wants this? I want to meet these girls and slap them. And shame on you for perpetuating this)
Reason 25 I'll always go with you when you have to go to the doctor. (No thank you. Unless you knocked me up, you don't need to be seeing any doctor with me. Are you aware of what happens at the doctor's office? I'm uncomfortable peeing in people's apartments if I think they can hear me. Why would I want you with me at the doctor's office?)
Reason 17 I do random acts of kindness. (You do, do you?)
Reason 15 I will be in your mind more than you are. (again. What? I can only hope you mean with some sort of futuristic probe. Because then it's at least kind of cool)
Reason 13 We will talk endlessly to each other on Cellphones to say how we miss each other. (Another one of those no thank you's. People who need to be attached to their phones when they don't see each other should have their heads examined. And I don't mean you, Emily. LDRs are different beasts. This dude wants a local girlfriend. He could probably also use a life. And also -- Cellphones? SPELL. CHECK.)
Reason 10 I won't try to get into your pants on the first date.(...)
Reason 9 I won't try to get into your pants on the second date.(...)
Reason 8 Aren't third dates great? (I guess this is better than a "six month" rule)
Reason 2 I'm a single, well grounded, good values. (What's "a good values"? And why are you one?)
And that's why Laura and I need to get on this book. Because like she said, "The path to hell is paved with good intentions -- and this guy is going to hell." (Then again, so are we).

[Currently Spinning: Smashing Pumpkins - Muzzle]


Laura said...

Okay. I had this conversation with you. That did not stop me from laughing for the last 10+ minutes while I read it again (and maybe again...and again).

I hope you like warm margaritas! (for when we're in hell I mean)

Matt said...

You made my day.