14 September 2006

Maybe Tomorrow is a Lifetime Away

Is September really almost halfway through already?

I can't believe how cliche I'm about to be, but lately the days have been passing by so quickly.

This is a recent development, since I can still remember how painfully and slowly last summer dragged on. The only thing I could do was make it through each day - I couldn't even think about the "future," whatever the hell that was. Waking up in the morning was a personal victory, but the days only seemed to go downhill from there, so I slept a lot, but that only made the days seem longer (when you've got nothing to do but sleep...things get pretty dull).

It got better in about October. I was happy again. Manic. I don't mind thinking about it because it's what I needed; what I wanted. But after that, losing my job was...different. This loss didn't make the days go by slowly. Rather, it seemed to speed things up. It was like I was in a choke-hold. I wanted to have fun and enjoy my free time, but mostly I was gaining weight and developing acne, because I was stressed about my employment situation, and that just made me want to stay inside and hide from the world -- but eventually those unemployment checks were going to stop coming, and then what? (I shudder to think) I developed that paranoia that kept me from going anywhere during the day, since if I wasn't at work, people would know I didn't have a job (can we say CRAZY?). Still, there weren't enough hours in the day to get all the knitting and TV watching and being a lazy lard ass out of the way.

Now, I've been at this new place for a little over a month. I don't know what my plans are for the future. I'm taking it one day at a time again (for the most part). But the days are whooshing by (like deadlines). Grad school is looming. Where? I don't know. When? Fuck if I know.

So, yeah. It's nice to finally have my life on track, again, guys.

[Currently Spinning: Pete Yorn - Maybe I'm Right]

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