21 September 2006

(Nice Dream) --- Not.

I had the most fucked up dream I've had in a while last night.

I was on the beach, with some friends, maybe some family, and some co-workers. We were all laying around, soaking up some sun, having some barbeque -- you know, the usual. This was all very vivid, even though it was no beach I'd ever been to. I fell asleep on my towel, and woke up with the feeling that I had a film in my mouth, you know, the one you get when you eat too much sugar? I excused myself to the restroom to take care of it, and when I got to a mirror, I saw that the film, which was kind of greyish and sticky looking, had covered the corner of my mouth and sort of spread onto the side of my face a bit. "Sick," I thought, "I must have really been going to town with the sleep-drool" (monologue that I could not make up if I tried. My dreams should be major motion pictures, people) I opened my mouth wide, and pulled what I was still guessing was drool off my face. This exposed a gash in between my mouth and cheek. Stuff -- stuff that I can only describe as a pus-like ooze, with bits of neon green -- started pouring out of my face. It just...kept coming, and these little things about the size and shape of hominy started falling out of my cheek, too. I was disgusted and horrified...it was the most vile thing that's ever happened to me in a dream, to be honest. I didn't know what to do first. Vomit? Keep squeezing the God-knows-whats out of my face? Look at it some more? Meanwhile, my face was still gushing. I couldn't tell if it was coming out of me -- like under my cheek -- or just...you know; inside my cheek. Neither option was particularly appealing, and this stuff wasn't slowing down, so I don't know why I was just standing there contemplating it.

By the end of the dream (what I mean by that is by the time my alarm went off), I'd sorted out that they were some weird bug's eggs. Something that was a cross between a centipede and a caterpillar. It had laid eggs inside my cheeck while I was napping.

Gross, right?

Then, after I hit snooze, I sort of tumbled into the middle of another dream, where this boy I'm kind of crushing on said something about his girlfriend. Actually, what he said was that he didn't know why he went out with this totally cute, funny girl last night, because he's been with his girlfriend for two years, and the whole thing felt all weird. Either way, things were not coming up Briar in that situation.

I've never been more happy to be awake and back in my boring old routine.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when you eat too much candy corn...not that it will stop you. :)

Benj said...

Your dream-monologues sound like the awkward dialogue I write! I HATE dialogue. How can I be expected to know what the utterances of human beings sound like?!

Gross, candy corn. At least it's not those awful little sugar pumpkins. But 'tis the season I guess.

Briar said...

I definitely got the "sick" thing from you. I usually say "Gross," or "Ick." You know, in real life.

I think I was channeling you in my dreams. You, candy corn, and centipedes. Yep.