06 September 2006

Movies Blockbuster Says I Saw in August

Okay, I want to start doing this once a month, even though it opens me up to the potential for ridicule. So, here we go, based on a five-star system:

Cassanova - was a terrible movie. But Heath Ledger was in it, and I felt obligated. When will I learn? Never. Two stars. ★★
Glory Road - *sniffle* I'm so buying this movie. Not only is it about Don Haskins but Josh Lucas is quite possibly the most beautiful man in movies these days. It was also a very, very good movie based on a true story. What more could you ask for? Five stars. ★★★★★
Annapolis - I have a confession to make. I didn't watch this. It's in my Blockbuster history. I got it. I put it in the computer, I selected play, and then I promptly fell asleep. There was not enough pretty in the world to keep me awake, and when I made a second, half-assed attempt to watch it again, I couldn't take it. I won't give it stars, because that would be unfair and untrue, but I will tell you that I could not give less of a damn about a movie right now, and will not be renting it again.
Fanny & Alexander - should have been called Alexander and the creepy Bishop-father. There was very little Fanny in this Swedish subtitled film by Ingmar Bergman. It was interesting, even though I missed all of the supposedly overt existential themes, and I liked it enough, but it's not exactly the masterpiece I think people claim it is (although by people...I think I may be referring to Mr Bergman). But I'm probably just dense. Four stars. ★★★★
Blazing Saddles - Blazing Saddles...I've already written why I rented it, and I've certainly seen it before. I can't bring myself to buy it (like Fiddler on the Roof, which I watch constantly, but have never owned), but I will never tire of watching this movie, and will rent it again and again until one day...maybe...I'll finally buy it somewhere. Five, glowing stars for Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder. ★★★★★
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada - This was a fantastic movie. Now, if any journey is going to be called quixotic, this is the one. The acting was something amazing, and the story was very...sad. But in the good way that makes you really think about people. Directed by and starring Tommy Lee Jones, and...in several scenes he's drinking TECATE. Five stars, Tommy. ★★★★★
Girl in the Cafe - preachy preachy preachy. Decent love story. Four stars. ★★★★
Benchwarmers - I pretty much laughed so hard I peed a few times. "What are steroids?" "It's something that makes your pee-pee smaller." "There must be steroids in macaroni." Farting jokes? Always funny. Just some more clean [potty] humor from our good old Mormon friend John Heder. Four stars (it's a sliding scale) ★★★★
Just Friends - This was not a great movie, but I do have to say one thing: Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit, singing All 4 One's I Swear. That's right. Go, rent it now, just for that. Two and a half stars. ★★

Man, that was some quality movie watching going on in August, friends.

1 comment:

Laura said...

I'd judge, but I fell asleep during Cassanova (and managed to fake-sleep-laugh well enough to fool you) and I totally saw Annapolis in theaters WITH A COWORKER. I maintain that there was plenty of shirtless pretty in that movie to stay awake for. I watched Benchwarmers on the flight out to Boston last time I saw you (*emo tear* I miss your face) and I'm pretty sure the lady next to me thought I had some sort of disorder. I tried not to laugh, but sometimes (always) farts are just funny.